Author	Thread: Over and done
Rach862004 View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 15 Aug, 2009 11:45 PM Well, Im no longer married---it's an awkward situation, you wonder where you went wrong. After giving your all to somebody and sometimes...but very rarely getting anything in return, and then they leave you to "Start over" and "live the single life"...thats where I am now, I want to be so angry...it's a hard situation now raising two kids on my own, and the oldest is wondering where her daddy is and why he isnt around...he's back in Wyoming with his family...Im at a lost for words, I guess what makes it worse is that I know inside he's not the guy he's making himself out to be, his mom has seriously brainwashed him...I gave him my all, sacrificed so much....only to get walked on, cheated on and broken hearted...I just dont get some people, you think they know them and then they let you down...thank God for forgiveness and his wonderful mercy and grace...without him I'm nothing... Post Reply
heywend View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 04:05 AM I am sorry. How old are your children? Mine are 17, 15 and 10. Last Nov, the day after our 20th wedding anniversary, my husband tells me he just wants to be "friends". So he is living like a single man but still living in my house expecting his meals cooked and clothes washed. Finally he moved out three months ago. Then hard thing is, he is still attending my church and is telling my friends that I kicked him out. I know they don't believe him, but it is awful. I also understand what you mean about suddenly having to find out who you are. I met him at 15 and now I am 39. I suddenly have to establish who I am as a single person. I thank God for my kids. Post Reply
View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 04:06 AM YES MY SISTER YOU ARE TOTALLY CORRECT, WITHOUT HIM, WE ARE DEFINATELY NOTHING. AS YOUR TITLE SAID, OVER AND DONE. IT IS A GREAT FEELING TO KNOW THAT, PRIOR TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EX, THROUGHOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND EVEN AS WE SPEAK, GOD WAS AND IS WITH YOU, WATCHING YOU AND NEVER WILL TURN HIS BACK AWAY FROM YOU. PRAISE BE TO GOD. AS YOUR POST IMPLIED, YOU ARE IN SAFE HANDS.:rocknroll: REGARDING YOUR CHILDREN ASKING OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF THEIR FATHER, I BELIEVE PRAYER IS THE REMEDY FOR THIS. CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN, CONTINUE TO TRAIN THEM IN THE WAY OF THE LORD. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOUR KIDS AND FOR YOURSELF ALSO.:prayingf: IN ADDITION, DESPITE THE FLAWS OF YOUR EX AND ALL OF HIS WRONG DOINGS, PRAY THAT GOD WILL DELIVER HIM AND THAT HE WILL TOTALLY SUBMIT HIMSELF TO GOD AS OPPOSED TO BEING BRAINWASHED BY MAN. YOUR LABOUR IS NOT IN VAIN (1 CORINTHIANS 15:58) THE LORD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ALWAYS. AMEN:glow: Post Reply
View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 04:30 AM SISTER WENDY, I AM SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, I AM SHOCKED THAT SOMEONE CAN BEHAVE LIKE THAT. WE ARE TRULY IN THE END TIMES. MY SISTER, GOD IS IN TOTAL CONTROL OF IT ALL AND I AM PRETTY SURE THAT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN IMPRESSED WITH THE WAY YOU HAVE CONDUCTED YOURSELF, DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. BELOW ARE SOME HELPFUL VERSES. 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. JAMES 1:2-3 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 1 PETER 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. JAMES 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. GOD BLESS YOU MY SISTERS, KEEP ON KEEPING ON IN JESUS AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY. Post Reply
View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 07:25 AM my dear sister rach, i am sorry to hear about your situation. i know the pain you're going thru too well. the first thing you need to do is remind yourself (say it out loud if you have to) that you did everything within your control to make it work, so...and this is very important to do...FORGIVE YOURSELF!!! we (divorcees) blame, doubt or question ourselves to the point of exhaustion with questions/comments like: what did i do wrong? maybe if... i should have... why is this happening... etc. i want you to breathe in....all the good qualities you have as a person, a mother, an ex wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a co-worker, a sister in Christ, and so on......THEN....you are going to breathe out....all negative thinking and feelings like: anger, frustration, hatred, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, self blame, self doubt, low self-esteem, and so on... breakdown alone or with family and friends, but breakdown...throw yourself on the floor, and let it all out...yell, scream, cry, whatever...just do it....call on Jesus! Jesus! he will hear your cry and collect your tears in a special cup he has just for you. within minutes your cries will become calmed, a sense of peace will overtake you, you will feel a supernatural embrace (that's God) that will leave you at an awe.....stay there, don't move, close your eyes and allow the Lord work in you....ask (in your mind) Jesus to remove all this pain, to renew you, to guide your steps, to make provisions for you and your kids and so......if you want, fall asleep right there in the embrace of your God.... remember, you may be on the floor right now, but that's just temporarily. the Lord is going to lift you up so high on firm ground that you yourself will be at an awe and say, "l am nothing without the Lord. i couldn't be here right now, if it wasn't for Him. PRAISE GOD! FOR HE IS FAITHFUL! AMEN!" btw, never talk negative about your ex to the children. remind them that it is not their fault that mommy and daddy were not able to stay together. that even though mommy and daddy live apart, the love is always there! God Bless, Zoe :angel: Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 02:57 PM I've been there, girl. I know how you feel. It will take time. Just don't try to hide from the pain. It's real, realy allow yourself to feel it. I made some mistakes right away out of anger and loneliness that I wish I could undo. But it's been a year now and the lord has brought peace and alot of harmony into my life. You wound up on a ride you never wanted to be on, and it's one heck of a roller coaster, and there is just no getting off of it, you will have to live through the duration of, and the elovlution of, your emotions. Beware bitterness though, and hatred. Pay attention to your children and be light and love in thier lives. let them know YOU will not leave them, ever. God bless you dear broken woman, and may the lord of peace fill you with his love and joy even in your darkest hour. ciao Alex Post Reply
View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 07:18 PM I am so sorry to hear about what has happend with your marriage. I just want to give you some encouragement and tell you to hold on to your faith in God. Eventually your heart will heal. God bless you:) Post Reply
heywend View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 08:22 PM Thank you for your kind words and encouraging scriptures. I know that God has given me the strength to conduct myself with integrity at this time, for my sake and for the sake of my children. He knows all things, even when we feel lost, he takes our hands and guides us. Post Reply
heywend View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 08:26 PM So many people are in our situation which is a sad indictment on the times we live in. But focussing on the good that we have been blessed with. xx Post Reply
Rach862004 View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 17 Aug, 2009 07:31 AM Thank you so much everybody, I really mean it. It's been one heck of a rollercoaster with trying to be strong for my girls. And dealing with my husband lying to his friends and family about it I found out, I wish the truth about it would just come out already. I dont understand why he wants to make it so hard, and tells me he wants us to still be civil with each other...how is a divorce civil? He has destroyed everything I once was, he is destroying his own family...and doesnt even care, just because he wants to live the single life and hangout with his friends and do this and that...I dont want him to live a life like the world...it's way to late to be doing that Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	Over and done Posted : 17 Aug, 2009 08:31 AM Your situation is VERY much like mine. Let me tell you this, and believe me when I say this. The lord will vindicate you, in his time. After everything that has happened with my ex, EVERY SINGLE PERSON who knows us, or knew us, thinks I am the good guy and she is nuts (she is) but I didn't go around trying to make people pick sides, I just kept it to myself and let everyone around me make up thier own mind about the situation. The lord has blessed me with peace and the reassurance that I did everything possible, as a man, to be a good husband, and save my marriage. And believe me, I did. You are going to have to do what I did, just let go. It's out of your control. And your husband is not ruining everything you were/are, he is hurting you, yes, but he is not the lords instrument in your life to maintain you in love and Godliness, the holy spirit is. You do NOT need this man, you NEED JESUS! Get as close as you can to him right now, he will not leave, nor forsake you. Girl, these words are SOOOOO easy to type, and easy to hear, but take it from someone who has LIVED through what you are going through, I wrailed against God for a while at first, but then I just learned to stick close to the lord and let his love satisfy me. You only need Jesus. ever. anyone else pales in comparrison and is only topping on the cake. pray alot, when it hurts the most, get down on your face and give it to the lord, just do like I did, scream! LORD I CAN't DEAL WITH THIS! THIS IS TOO MUCH! TAKE IT LORD! PLEASE!!! He got me through a day at a time until now, there is no pain anymore. No resentment, no anger, no bitterness, just commitment to living the way I should however my life may be or turn out to be, God is LOVE. loose yourself in him, and find yourself in his arms. God bless you, dear child of God. Post Reply

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