Author	Thread: You can't handle the truth
Admin	You can't handle the truth Posted : 5 Feb, 2012 10:12 AM Women say that they want an honest man who does not play games, but in reality that is not what they go after. I have seen so many times where women chase after a guy who tells them up front that they are not interested in marriage, and then they are shocked when he never gets around to proposing. But, they will never go out with someone who states up front that they want to get married because they think that we are too desperate. Women like guys that are confident, and I can understand why, but they never try to understand why the guy is confident in the first place. Their motivation behind their confidence is very important. I have seen plenty of men who are very confident around women because they have no desire to get married. It�s easy not to be shy when you have nothing to lose, even I can do that. True confidence comes from knowing what you are doing. There are a lot of men who are not confident because they don�t know what they are doing, but that does not mean that we can never learn. Women also complain that they can�t find a guy who is serious about marriage. The problem is that you run away from anyone who states up front that they are interested in marriage. You want to start out as �just friends�, there mustn�t be any hint of desiring the theoretical possibility that there might be an outside chance that there might me something more than just friends. In other words, we have to lie to you. We can�t be honest and open about our intentions, we have to keep them to ourselves. I hear so many times on these forums where women complain about there not being any good men, that they can�t find anyone who is willing to treat them honestly and to settle down in marriage. If you want an honest man, then stop running away from them when they tell you the truth. Stop chasing after guys who lie to you just so that you won�t run away. You say you want the truth, but you can�t handle the truth. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 6 Feb, 2012 09:59 PM Wow Cobbler I feel you frustration jumping off the page. (I do love the new pic actually lol) Here's my take on the situation, in terms of a woman chasing after a man who has stated he doesn't want to get married; I can't speak for the whole female population but I think it's a challenge to the woman as the chase is the challenge for the man. About everything else, I think what we have to chew on is the fact that while both sexes, men and women state what they want ultimately many things crop up when faced with that reality and it scares them. This is a medium of meeting people and while it may work for some I think ultimately we need to give the decision to Christ. He's looking down from above and knows the hearts of men and women, many are the plans in a man's heart you know. But ultimately we need to rely on God to make this decision because He sees us down the road. I truly believe He has made a helpmeet for us, and not because a man or a woman may meet someone who had marriage as their goal someday needs to get married to that person. Man doesn't know what He wants half the time because our feelings and emotions changes according to the climate. So take heart Cobbler, the more we look at our circumstances the more frustrated we get, but if we cast our eyes on the One above imagine the ramifications of such trust and faith. This may not quell any frustration you may be experiencing but maybe it might help shift your focus? God bless. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 6 Feb, 2012 10:00 PM Wow Cobbler I feel you frustration jumping off the page. (I do love the new pic actually lol) Here's my take on the situation, in terms of a woman chasing after a man who has stated he doesn't want to get married; I can't speak for the whole female population but I think it's a challenge to the woman as the chase is the challenge for the man. About everything else, I think what we have to chew on is the fact that while both sexes, men and women state what they want ultimately many things crop up when faced with that reality and it scares them. This is a medium of meeting people and while it may work for some I think ultimately we need to give the decision to Christ. He's looking down from above and knows the hearts of men and women, many are the plans in a man's heart you know. But ultimately we need to rely on God to make this decision because He sees us down the road. I truly believe He has made a helpmeet for us, and not because a man or a woman may meet someone who had marriage as their goal someday needs to get married to that person. Man doesn't know what He wants half the time because our feelings and emotions changes according to the climate. So take heart Cobbler, the more we look at our circumstances the more frustrated we get, but if we cast our eyes on the One above imagine the ramifications of such trust and faith. This may not quell any frustration you may be experiencing but maybe it might help shift your focus? God bless. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 6 Feb, 2012 11:07 PM It may seem like a challenge to chase after a guy who says that he is not ready to be married, but it�s just foolishness. The problem is that men and women come to the decision to get married differently. I am generalizing, but it does apply in many cases. Generally once a woman finds a man that she feels is �The One�, she will want to get married right away. It really doesn�t matter what else is going on in her life, she wants to get married. Men, on the other hand, come to the decision about getting married based upon if they feel that they are ready to be married. This decision is usually based on if he has a good enough paying job, or if he has accomplished certain things in his life, or has done things that he feels he can never do if he is married. The one thing that he almost never basis his decision on is this: Whether or not he has found �The One�. It will sound odd to women, but a guy can find the absolute most perfect woman for him, and he still will not want to get married. He will not want to get married until he has accomplished what he feels he wants to get done. Just because a guy is dating doesn�t mean that he wants to get married. The problem is when he is dating someone and they fall in love, but he is not ready to marry. All he will do is frustrate the woman because she will not understand why he won�t marry her. She will start thinking like a woman (understandably so) and start to wonder what is so wrong with her that he won� marry her, when it has nothing to do with her at all. On the other hand, you can have a guy like me who has accomplished everything he wants to accomplish, and is ready to get married, assuming he can find �The One�. But, women will run away if you state up front that you are ready to marry because they assume that you are desperate and will marry just about anyone. This is not necessarily the truth. So, to get a date you have to lie and act as if you only want to be friends, nothing more. Finding a spouse isn�t a matter of random chance, or as Christians like to put it �Up to God�s will�. Finding a spouse is just like married, it takes work. But what do women do, they run to the guy who has no intentions of getting married, and run away from the men who do want to get married. Then when the jerk dumps them, they cry that there aren�t any good men. If you can�t find any good men, it�s not because God hasn�t brought one to you, it�s because you aren�t smart enough to look in the right place. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 6 Feb, 2012 11:30 PM I love the "Oh it's God's will who you will marry." That's not love, that's apathy. James 2:16-17 (NASB) 16 and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? 17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 7 Feb, 2012 02:15 AM If she were being apathetic, she wouldn't have said anything. And you really need to find a better way of handling your disappointments and frustrations than taking it out on people that have nothing to do with what is causing it and are just trying to help and encourage you. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 7 Feb, 2012 09:44 AM Telling me that it�s all up to �God�s will� and I just need to wait around until someone �magically� appears isn�t caring. That is only feeling sorry for me. There is a world of difference between feeling sorry for someone and actually caring about them. There are ways that people can help me out, but no one is interested in doing so because they refuse to believe anything I say. I don�t think like other people do, and it is very hard for me to communicate how someone can help me. Actually, it�s not that hard to communicate how someone can help me, it�s just that every time I ask I have to explain how my Asperger�s affects me, which no one understands, and why it makes it difficult for me to start a relationship, which no one believes. In the end, instead of helping me, I get accused of exaggerating my difficulties and just simply not trying at all, just as you have done, IOnlyDateCheerleaders. And if I am not willing to try, then why should other�s help me. So, in frustration, they tell me that I just need to �wait for God�s will� and tell me to go away. I can�t make people understand what I am going through. I can only tell people the facts and hope that they will believe me. How am I supposed to deal with a world that refuses to understand me simply because I don�t think the way they do? I am the one who is hurting, and everyone acts as if everything is my fault. I try to reach out and ask for help, but instead of help all I get are accusations of sin. John 9:1-4 (NASB) 1 As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. 2 And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" 3 Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 "We must work the works of Him who sent Me as long as it is day; night is coming when no one can work. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 7 Feb, 2012 11:02 AM I must say Cobbler you shock me. I was not trying to be apathetic, condescending or unconcerned about your feelings. Neither were my words cliche it is something I truly believe. I can sit here and spout my frustrations to the world and yet even though well meaning people may try to offer comfort and encouragement and it still will not appease the hurt or frustration we feel because it still doesn't fix the problem. I have heard you speak about your Aspergers and I will do some research on it but for now I know little about it except that you say it makes having a relationship difficult. All the more reason to place this decision in God's hands. I think we put God in a box too many times, he is powerful, ALL knowing and nothing happens before he is ready for it to happen. You wanna know something about me? I have been molested as a child, physically and verbally abused. It messed me up badly. You may say that's not the same thing but I beg to differ, your condition, you didn't ask for it neither did I ask for these things but they have happened and now it has to be dealt with. My God, our God wants to come to Him with every desire, every concern because he cares no matter how big or how small. Why not trust Him instead of letting cynicism rob you like I have let it do for many years. We do not make decisions and then consult God, we consult God before we make decisions. This is something you need to take to the Lord in prayer, it's that serious, because something is not going the way you want just means you need to seek God about it. Sometimes you have to even sit back and wait. You have deeper issues my friend you need to deal with that. I am waiting on God's decision on whom I should marry, if you believe you have to search and in searching you meet bad apples that's the risk you have to take don't complain my friend. God bless. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 7 Feb, 2012 12:55 PM Yes, everything is my fault. I�m not trying hard enough, I�m not praying the right way, I�m not patient enough. Everything I do is all my fault. There is absolutely nothing that anyone can do for me, it�s all up to God�s whim. That�s just the �Christian� way of telling someone to stop complaining and go away. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 7 Feb, 2012 01:24 PM You also left out the part where you have a rotten attitude and no respect or appreciation for other people's experiences and what they have to say. Post Reply
View Profile History	You can't handle the truth Posted : 7 Feb, 2012 01:41 PM Ok Cobbler, all i can say is may God grant you the desires of your heart. God bless, I'm praying. Post Reply

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