How do you personally know you are inlove with the right person? I mean i'm just curious what you all think? how do you personally know that you found the man (woman) for you and not have made a mistake for maybe choosing the wrong person and allowing another go away?
Just wondering what people think about this! :) (cos i was overhearing a conversation about this not too long ago, so i thought i'd ask here! hehe)
Well, assuming most of us on this site are single and looking, I'd have to ask if any of us are really qualified to answer. That being said, I would propose that one can't know until they have discerned God's will in that situation and acted accordingly.
I've dated my fair share of women, but I can tell you for a fact that I've never been in love with any of them. I would like to think that you just know, which doesn't really answer your question, but then again, I never claimed to have the answer!
Prayer will help ! Ask God to reveal , be surrender and lay every things on Jesus hand. Im personally experience that, no other way better that pray to God.
thanks to all for your answers! :) @Pixy, that was absolutely LOVELY!!! And for certain, what has been in my heart but couldn't describe it in words, and you did it for me! Are we sisters? :) Thanks everyone!
All good answers and it does require prayer because the flesh and attractions can distract you. It has to be someone that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, for better or worse, in sickness and health, till death till you part. :glow:
I would think this would be different for everyone since it "should" have everything to do with how God has / is calling you - marriage being for the Lord and not only for us.
For myself,
God continues to call me more and more into ministry, which means hours upon hours of intense conversations / writing to others and studying the word of God. Because of this, I would very much need to be with someone who was passionate about the same things. Someone that I could build with - a running mate to run the race which God has set before me.
IF God brought such a person into my life, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to tell, because I'd be building with them for the Kingdom of God before I ever moved forward in a more personal way.
At this point in my life, that is the ONLY thing that I'd fall in love with. Not another person, but God between myself and the other person ;) which I believe equals true love...
I�m writing this article to sound the alarm concerning a lie that has been peddled to us � women, especially � by the movie and publishing industries and generally by the enemy of our souls (no pun intended). That lie is that each of us has a soulmate. It takes on many forms and versions, but the basic and most popular idea is that each of us was created to be connected to just one specific individual for life (read that again and think about it). This special person exists just for us, and we will run into him/her at a particular designated time. Everybody will just know in their knower who their soulmate is. The �knower� will have three assistants that clarify that this is, indeed, one�s soulmate one has encountered: the flutter in the heart, the butterfly in the stomach and the shiver in the liver. All soulmates have to do is lock eyes across the pews for 2.92 seconds and they will just know.
Your soulmate is supposedly a perfect being that will work with you like a key does with a lock. No complications, no struggles, just a smooth meshing together of souls (cue violin music). You get married, ride off into the sunset and live together, happily ever after. No trials � but if there are any, you sail through them together, like a superhero and his counterpart. Your soulmate �completes� you. Nobody loves you more than they do. They finish your sentences. They feel your headaches � and you are cured when they swallow Panadol on your behalf. You are each other�s perfect magazine cover model. You just bond. You blend. You flow. You were meant to be together.
Many married men and women use the soulmate lie as an excuse to cheat on their partners. �We can�t help it,� they say of themselves and their partners. �We�re soulmates. We were meant to be together.� And they drop everything � wives, husbands, children, careers even, just to be with these so-called soulmates.
Many single men and women go through relationship after relationship because of this lie. I know many, many men who have refused to settle down because they fear that the minute they do, their soulmate will show up and it will be too late. On day 2 of a woman�s 40 day juice fast for a husband, a good man will come her way and display serious interest in marrying her, but because he is not three years and two months older, six-two, rich, on the worship team at church and has no news anchor�s accent, she will know that is not her husband. She is not just fasting for any old rinky-dink husband. She wants the six-two, rich, etc� one.
Let�s imagine a character named James. James is hardworking and ambitious. At 28 years of age, he has a good job with a large multinational company. He is a strong Christian and is ready to move out of home, but is waiting to find Mrs. James before he does so.
James has known Sheila from church for about four years now. She is a good Christian girl, hardworking too, beautiful, and single. He thinks she would make a good wife � for someone. Him, maybe? He knows her very well; in fact, they are good friends. But he wants to be 100% sure this is his soulmate. He begins to look and pray for signs. He wants to know for sure. Sometimes the �answer� from God seems to be yes, sometimes it seems to be no.
One day, James and Sheila have a disagreement. Based on this, James decides that Sheila is not the soulmate he had thought she might be. He begins to remember all the things that have gone wrong in their friendship. She does not keep time, she is loud, the heels she wears are too high, and the rice she cooked him wasn�t that good anyway. She doesn�t cut the image of the good wife he has in mind. He is waiting for someone who speaks gently and likes to wear suits and loafers, you see. There is something in heels that just reeks of Jezebel. His search, he determines, must continue. There is no way this can end nicely.
He realizes that Jane from the office is a very humble and pretty young girl. He is excited to find out that she is a Christian. Could this be it? He strikes up a conversation with her and thinks she is interesting. He studies her intently for a few months. But one day, she tells him that she had an abortion when she was in high school. He is heartbroken. He loves this girl. But can he trust her? She is a little too quiet for his liking� how many secrets is she keeping? Hmm� no. This abortion issue changes many things. She cannot be his soulmate. Yes, she has the soft voice. No loafers, but she can work a suit, but this cannot be the kind of wife God has in mind for him. He thinks about her diploma, and the fact that his parents will not like the fact that it�s from a commonplace school. Marrying her would be a first class ticket to divorce. He has to move on.
On his 36th birthday, James meets Ella. She is everything he could hope for. She is a mix of Sheila and Jane, but with good rice and a perfect past. And loafers! He is sure she is the soulmate. The fleece works sometimes; sometimes it doesn�t. He begins to doubt this Ella girl. She is too good to be true. And she is all of 34 years old. If she�s so perfect, why isn�t she married? No. James decides he has not found his soulmate yet. He is not going to risk divorce by marrying somebody nobody wants.
And so on the cycle continues, until� who knows?
For those who cannot handle lengthy reading, here is a brief summary of this article: there is no such thing as a soulmate.
Now, everyone else, let�s break it down.
1) The Bible nowhere mentions, implies or suggests that the notion of soulmates is of God.
I know, I know: �This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.� Right?
Well� Why did he not just say �This is now soul of my soul?� He could have!
Remember, Adam had spent time naming animals. Mr. Kangaroo, Mrs. Kangaroo. Mr. Warthog, Mrs. Warthog. Etc.
Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:20.)
After all the naming, it dawns on Adam that every animal has a partner, but there is no Mrs. Adam.
Look at the sequence of events here in Genesis 2:18-25. God first says, �It is not good for a man to be alone.� It is not good that the man should be alone. He then brings the animals for Adam to name. To me, this seems to be so that Adam can come to the conclusion for himself that he has no help (helper) meet (suitable) for himself. Then God puts him to sleep and creates Eve. When he wakes up, he says, �Ahh, wonderful! Now I have somebody exactly like me.� And he proceeds to name his own partner.
This is not to say that God has not created one person (or maybe a few people � see (2) below) for each person. He has. He is just not sadistic or mystical about it. He has written a beautiful love story for each of us, but He has given us the free will to make certain choices.
After Sarah�s death, we are told that Abraham decided to send his eldest servant to find a wife for Isaac. Now, why didn�t Adam just wait for Isaac to run into and lock eyes with somebody and take her as his wife? The only thing he required, and asked his servant to vow, was
I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites� (Genesis 24:3).
In today�s lingo, that would simply mean �Swear to me that you�ll not bring an unequal yoke for my son.�
2)There is no such thing as an �other half� or a �better half.�
When we walk into marriage, we are supposed to be two whole, unique individuals who complement, not complete, each other. God completes us. It is God that we cannot live without. He commands us to love Him with all our soul (Deut 6:5, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27, etc).
3)Widows and widowers have remarried and are allowed to remarry.
1 Timothy 5:14 and other verses encourage young widows and widowers to remarry. If everybody had just one soulmate, then this would not be possible.
4)I can think of only THREE types of people with whom you are Biblically incompatible:
a) An unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14).
b) A person of the same gender (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:27, etc).
c) A person who is already married to somebody else (Exodus 20:14, Malachi 2:15, Romans 13:9, Hebrews 13:4, James 2:11, etc).
5)You become �soulmates� after you get married
(the truth is, though, that you are one flesh, not one soul). The first reason for this is what God has put together, no man can put asunder. Secondly, God brings people our way, but each of us has the privilege and responsibility to choose what place each person will have in our lives. Just like we can choose to reject Jesus, we can also choose to reject people. While we must be very careful who we choose to marry, we must also remember that agape love does not discriminate; we do not love people who we feel merit or have earned our love. Nobody is perfect.
Marriage bonds people together within itself. It�s the sex, the raising of children, the adversity, the trials, the triumphs, and the living together for years on end, that cause two people to become bonded to each other in a unique way. This is one reason why many arranged marriages, despite being seen as brutal and uncouth, have lasted and continue to last to the end.
I will not, should never, say that you should not be attracted to, interested in, or in love with a person before you get married. I will say, however, that we must rethink some of these things. Looks are skin-deep. If they were critically important, Jesus would have come as a handsome man, but we are told that he was ordinary-looking (Isaiah 53:2). interests change with time. I once loved chocolates, and then for years I could not stand them, and now I simply tolerate them. Love is a choice. Nowhere does 1 Corinthians 13 tell us that love is about jitters, shivers, shudders, and sweet nothings.
Man, if you find a good woman, go ahead and marry her. Lady, if he�s a man of God, don�t pass him up in the hopes that someone better will come along. If you are married, I encourage you to stay married, remembering that the first key to a good marriage is more about being a good spouse than it is about getting one. Would you enjoy being married to you?
You�ll know with time if you've found the "right" or the "wrong" person. For example, if you've been dating a guy and he possesses certain qualities you are seeking you know he is the �right� person for you. If he doesn't possess certain qualities you're looking for you know he is the �wrong� person for you. For example, if a man is inconsiderate to your feeling, he has no kind of regard for you as a person or he takes you for granted and only needs you when he's in a slump then you know that person is the �wrong� person for you. If a man is considerate to your feelings, he is kind and respectful and he doesn't take you for granted you know he may be a better person for you or the �right� person for you. Most people know if someone is good or bad for them, but it takes time to find out that person's personality, but you'll know soon enough. You'll know.
