Author	Thread: Advice
millie25 View Profile History	Advice Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 10:44 AM I have been married for 29 years, most of them unhappy years. I am now at the point where I just cant live like this any more, my kids are grown and i am telling my self there is no more reasons for me to stay in such unappreciated, unrecognized relationship but I am scared to take the necessary steps, because i have no idea how to date or even how to go about it. Any suggestions Post Reply
View Profile History	Advice Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 10:52 AM Well, being that this is a singles site, it may not be the best place to get marriage advice. Have you checked out Focus on the Family? They have marriage forums on their site that look to be fairly helpful. I will say that unhappiness is not a valid reason for divorce. From a Biblical standpoint (based on what information you've given anyway), what you should do is reconcile with your spouse, not divorce him. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Advice Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 04:01 PM I'm really sorry that your unhappy in your marriage. The only thing I can say is seek the Lord. Post Reply
View Profile History	Advice Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 09:24 PM Millie, Noticed a phrase in your post "I am telling myself....". I can tell you from experience there is better advice to be had than from "myself". Believe it or not your 'self' does Not have your best interests at heart. Yourself is telling you there is "no more reason to stay", I believe this is in conflict with what God is telling you. You also talk about taking "the necessary steps", I agree you need to take the necessary steps; Not the steps of self, but the steps God would have you take. You are unhappy, a new relationship 'might' remedy that temporarily until the newness wears off. However the self tells you that is the only way to be happy, while God says Joy is found in Him. Unappreciated and unrecognized relationship, do you think God could say the same thing to you? If you want to take the necessary steps and start a new relationship, then start a new relationship with God before you take any other steps. I pray God will remove the recording from your mind playing the same thing over and over and replace it with the truth. Post Reply
View Profile History	Advice Posted : 10 Apr, 2011 05:18 AM Hi, Millie! If my marriage wasn't glorifying the Lord and the Lord told me to stop it, I would not put any conditions on doing so. I wouldn't wait till I found someone new. Whatever God showed me to do, I'd do it, but I wouldn't make it conditional. Post Reply
View Profile History	Advice Posted : 13 Apr, 2011 03:33 PM Oh Millie, my dear, I ache for you. I wish there was a way we could talk face to face. You did not share the details about your unhappiness. Of course you do not have to, but it makes it difficult to get "advice" from many of us who are divorced. But let me just write this: God has such love and concern for A N Y situation we are in! You have not shared whether you have trusted the Lord and love Him enough to have made a commitment to Him and Jesus. This is very important to almost all of us here! We cannot imagine life without Him...and we look forward to Eternity with Him. You write that your fear concerns taking the necessary steps to leave your marriage and to begin to date. I must tell you I winced when I read that. I do not mean to pass any judgment on you. I think you are moving in the wrong direction at the wrong speed on the wrong forum. You are already considering a new relationship before this one has been brought to any kind of closure. And again, since I do not know the root of your unhappiness, it is difficult to address. If you wish to retain your anonymity and still just vent or seek fellowship, I wish to recommend Christian Forums. If you are being abused in ANY way, shape or form, you need to remove yourself to a place of safety! PERIOD! Then, you can work from there. Abuse requires termination, confrontation, counseling, forgiveness, healing and then moving on. In my opinion, all should be done with support by and knowledge of your church. (Deep Sigh) As far as advice on dating, the advice you have been given here is from some pretty wise people. Be assured you are being prayed for. Post Reply
Jewels133 View Profile History	Advice Posted : 17 Apr, 2011 01:01 AM Before you are so quick to end your marriage, I recommend a few books for you to read FIRST. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman The Power of the Praying Wife by Stormie OMartian Captivating by Staci Eldridge Wild at Heart by John Eldridge Conflict Free Living by Joyce Meyer These books may save your marriage...no matter how bad you think it is. The grass isn't greener on the other side, and the truth is, there is no guarantee you won't have the same kinds of problems in another relationship. I would caution you not to give up on your marriage. Post Reply
MyTeddyBear View Profile History	Advice Posted : 17 Apr, 2011 06:54 PM Would like a opportunity to talk with you. But I am not able to e-mail you because of your age settings.... Jim Post Reply
footprints123 View Profile History	Advice Posted : 5 Nov, 2011 09:53 AM MILLIE HAVE YOU TRIED COUNSELING,HAVE YOU PRAYED ABOUT THE MATTER?HAVE YOU DONE EVERYTHING TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?IF THERE IS NO ABANDONMENT OR INFIDELITY,I SUGGEST YOU TRY AND WORK ON IT.BEING UNHAPPY IN A MARRIAGE IS NOT GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE.IF THERE IS PHYSICAL ABUSE,RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK. Post Reply