Author	Thread: How physical should a Christ follower get on a date?
WomanofFaith123 View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 04:08 PM I haven't been on a date for over 12 years will you please clue me in on how far a Christ honoring woman and man could go on a date. Should they kiss? Can they hold hands? Can they go even farther than that? I already know the answer let's see what ya'll think! Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 03:49 PM How close to the edge of a cliff should I walk to avoid falling over the cliff? My vote is to stay as far away from the edge of the cliff where I don�t have to constantly worry about falling over. In dating, it is the same way. One should only do those things that will not cause you to stumble. For me, holding hands, walking arm in arm, giving hugs doesn�t lead me to want more. I haven�t kissed anyone in years, but from what I remember it was hard for me to not want more, a lot more. The best thing to do is to just not push it, and concentrate on building the relationship, and not on building desire. So much easier said then done. Post Reply
WomanofFaith123 View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 12 Feb, 2011 07:17 AM Excellent point! Great answer! Post Reply
BrittanyChantee View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 12 Feb, 2011 08:59 PM If your intentions are to go past a hug on the first date then to me your intentions aren't pure and your definitely not doing anything pleasing in God's site....Lust of the flesh The most a person should do on a date the proper way is a hug or a kiss on the cheek(ladies to guys) forehead(guys to ladies) If a person respects you they won't try to take it any further especially since its the first date or any other date for that matter. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 13 Feb, 2011 09:58 AM Cobbler pretty much hit the nail on the head. The first couple dates need to be kept to hugs or something, since you're still trying to figure out whether you want to get into a relationship with them (you've gotta be very careful going on a date with the "I've gotta get them to like me" mindset). Once you are actually in a relationship, more should be on the table, but not much more, and definitely still following Cobbler's cliff illustration. Either I'm just different or I haven't kissed the right woman yet, because kissing isn't that big of a deal for me. I see no good that can come from making out, but just a kiss doesn't cause me to stumble. Another thing to think about is that the other person might have struggles where you don't. I wouldn't want to kiss my girlfriend for the first time thinking it's no big deal, only to cause her to stumble. This kind of communication is important, and if you're having the "Is kissing ok?" conversation, you should probably be dating anyways. Beyond that, I think anything involving parts covered up by a bathing suit are off limits before marriage, as that jumps into the realm of sexual immorality. One thing that can be sticky is the issue of a shoulder rub. I love 'em, but to me, they're completely non-sexual. I know other people have issues with physical touch causing them to stumble, so again, communicate with your significant other. Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 8 Mar, 2011 04:01 PM :waving: I quite agree with Tulip--when there's no communication, the relationship is fast-tracked to trouble. I could be doing something I see as a good thing. BUT the other person might have trouble with it. But if neither side says something, then there will be trouble in the relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 14 Mar, 2011 06:21 PM Interesting responses. But, how many of us hold to these limitations? According to James Dobson, 80% of American Christian couples are having sex. There are other stats, relating to sexual behavior, that also add to the picture that we American Christians are being watered down by the world and losing our saltiness. I do not mean to throw stones, I am merely trying to hold a light up to a nasty reality. And, that brings up another point: where do we draw the line on criticizing or admonishing our brethren for this unGodly behavior? We're so afraid to be 'judgmental', but does that truly absolve us from pointing out unChristian behavior? I will add this, and I hope this does not give any women out there second thoughts about contacting me, but I am not an especially strong man. My card house is fragilely built and could collapse with a light breeze. So, I do not speak with a self-righteously wagging finger. I speak with concern about the Church in the West and America in particular. Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 15 Mar, 2011 01:00 AM Clarification: 80% of Christian couples, according to James Dobson, are having sex outside of marriage. Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 19 Mar, 2011 01:04 PM Personally, I think we've gone too far in even asking this question. I've been asked this by a number of high schoolers and I tell them the same thing. We ask this question to find a solid, hard line for when sin starts. Have we not already eluded to sin in asking God, "Well, just how far will you let me go?" There are a lot of implications in that question. It's funny...When I was a child and my parents told me that the punishment for certain actions was being spanked, I was never inclined to ask, "Well, what about this? It isn't QUITE that, so will I get in trouble for this as well?" If I knew I'd get spanked for one thing, I didn't try to push the envelope (okay, maybe I did once or twice). I knew they were serious and that whatever it was that I was trying to do was wrong. We'll take our parents seriously, so what in the world gives us the right to look at our holy God and say, "Sooo... is THIS really all that bad or can I get away with it?" It's such a smack in the face to who God is. If we take Paul seriously when he says, "Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31)." If this is going to count for our dating/marriage relationships, then we should probably start asking whether or not our relationships are purely to gratify our own physical and emotional desires or whether they direct first attention to the glory of God. I like the analogy of a triangle for a relationship - man at one base corner, woman at the other, God at the top. As the two grow closer together, they grow closer to God. This is correct, but I think there's also more to it. Too often we shove everyone out of marriages. While it's a sacred bond between two people, it's also an excellent opportunity for ministry to others. All too often we forget that. I hate church, Sunday school answers, so I apologize if this next thought comes across that way. I don't intend for it to, but if we're looking for what we can get away with physically in a relationship, then we aren't putting the other person before ourselves. I hope this didn't come across "high & mighty." That wasn't my intent. I do, however, think this is the wrong question for Christians to think about. Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 21 Mar, 2011 12:14 PM Ehh... Hannah, I think you're wrong on this one. I understand the spirit of what you said, but I don't think the question was asked in the spirit you described. We humans, being the simplistic creatures we sometimes can be, need to have a clear delineation of boundaries. If we don't know what or where that line is, we'll foray into wherever our emotions or cells lead us. Post Reply
View Profile History	How physical should a Christ follower get on a date? Posted : 23 Mar, 2011 05:40 PM Okay, well if you wouldn't feel comfortable doing something in front of your grandma, then I think you have your answer as to where the boundary lies. Regardless of whether or not that was the "spirit" the question was asked in, the fact still stands that if the question of whether or not something is "acceptable" pre-marriage arises, then chances are something is setting off that alarm. This question is just asked too often (in my opinion). I'd go to bet that if you're truly walking with Christ, the Spirit will let you know if something is okay or not. Post Reply

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