Author	Thread: Just Wondering
Admin	Just Wondering Posted : 2 Feb, 2011 05:12 PM My wife was killed in an accident seven years ago, leaving behind a one year old daughter and 2 year old son. I have been so busy being a daddy and mama I really haven't had a chance (or the heart) yet to venture out into the dating scene. I was wondering if it was proper to let my children tag along on the first couple of dates, maybe a movie or out to dinner, or would that make for an uncomfortable situation? They are my life right now and I put their needs ahead of mine, but just really don't know how to go about this. Thank you for your advice. Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 2 Feb, 2011 05:24 PM Personally, I think there's still a lot of variables. For example: What do your kids think about you dating? Will you "get to know" someone before actually going out on a date with them? What will your children think if the lady has children of her own? Do you want to introduce them to several different women, or would you want to wait until you're more sure that the woman will be around for a while? I don't have any kids, but these are things I've encountered over the years. But, be thankful! I'm sure with God's guidance, you'll surely do what He thinks is best! :) T Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 2 Feb, 2011 05:37 PM Thanks, T. Yes, I'm going to take it very slowly and one day at a time. I'm not going to rush into anything half hazardly. I guess I jumped the gun on my question. I meant after I got to know someone enough to ask them out. Maybe if she has children we can arrange a play date for them, I just don't know what a woman may think if I ask her if my children can tag along on the first date. (Or would that be a way for me to find out if she liked children) I guess there's always 2 sides to a coin. Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 2 Feb, 2011 06:31 PM My suggestion is to not introduce your children to anyone (and vice versa) before you know if there is even potential. And you won't know that until you've been out (alone) at least a couple of times. Your kids will come first, and you don't want to expose or introduce them to someone you have not thoroughly vetted yourself by spending time with her and getting to know her. That's just my suggestion. Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 2 Feb, 2011 06:57 PM Thank you Ms. Godslamb. Very good advice. You have raised a valid point I never considered. I guess the first few dates should be just the two of us until I get to know her well enough to introduce her to my children. God bless you both for your wise and kind responses. Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 3 Feb, 2011 06:39 AM Sorry, but I have to disagree with godslamb--- The children being pushed aside while daddy's "getting to know" a lady who may very well play a major role in their lives in the future may lead to some resentment. By the time you ask her out you should already be able to tell whether or not she likes kids----- and giving them a chance to go out with her and daddy would be the smart thing to do (in my opinion). I don't have kids of my own yet, but I think if I did and found myself in your circumstance a woman would have to take the whole package------ even on a first date. chevy Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 3 Feb, 2011 09:31 AM The issue is about the children, actually. When you introduce them to a woman they may begin to get attached. If you keep bringing new women into their lives they will soon start to get confused. You really need to hold off on introducing them until you are more committed to the relationship. This advice isn�t coming from me, I have no kids so I wouldn�t know. This is coming from people I know who have kids and are dating. Bringing your kids in too early will only bring them confusion, especially if you date a lot of people before finding someone. To them it�s a lot like losing a parent over and over again. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 3 Feb, 2011 10:13 AM simply- since your just starting to date, then yes I would take your kids if your comfortable with that. I think it's cute, to be honest...but after awhile, they may get attached to someone and when or if it doesnt work out, they will be sad. Then you will have to explain it to them and it's just hard to do those things...but as a single daddy, you gotta do what you gotta do. River Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 5 Feb, 2011 04:07 PM I agree with river - kids will like certain ones more than others, and you could get "But I like Monica better! I don't like Karen!" kinda things going on. Could be confusing for them, and aggravating for you and the next girlfriend. Post Reply
seriously1 View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 5 Feb, 2011 06:52 PM I agree with cobbler. let to woman know about your children. as for the" FIRST DATE", no, don't take them along. if that's what you are asking. your sound like a good dad:applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Just Wondering Posted : 7 Feb, 2011 03:33 AM Simply amazed, I agree with river. This happened to me and, in fact, my son got attached to this man I was seeing and, when it was over, he got really hurt. Guard their hearts! Post Reply