Author	Thread: How long before you start lookin?
shepherdess View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 10:50 PM I have heard that it takes about one year for every five years you were married before you can be truly "over it" or "ready" or whatever. Any thoughts? Post Reply
View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 28 Dec, 2010 07:56 PM I think it is totally individual and cannot fit any formula. Everyone is different. It takes as long as it takes. Some advice I've heard about a loss (be it loss of spouse or divorce) is to not make any big changes the first year after it happens. For me that has been very good advice that I've followed. Post Reply
shepherdingking View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 29 Dec, 2010 11:49 AM according to the stress scale divorce is right up there at 60 points. the only thing higher is the death of a spouse at 100 points. Oddly enough marriage or engagement is also very stressful at 45 points. If that is your only stress factor, recovery and grieving time can be sooner rather than later. Later if you start adding additional stressors like loss of job & the economy to name a few, Some people never recover. It just depends, each person's situation is unique. Churches says one to three years in respect to the scripture that says "remain unmarried" 1 Cor 7:11, "she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband." Because all couples have arguments from time to time. And time can heal disagreements.It is possible to have reconciliation before bonding to someone new. But if they already found someone it is less likely.And if it is too big an issue, a real deal breaker, then time might not help at all. Since each case is different it might be better for some people to find a new mate as soon as possible too. If you go from one relationship to another and have the same kind of problems it may be you who needs more time to recover. Post Reply
View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 29 Dec, 2010 08:12 PM In my case, I had made peace with the decision long before any paperwork was filed. (Long story, but I was confident this was the right decision before we sat down and seriously discussed it.) So I was ready to move on right away. But I did wait - partly out of respect for my children's feelings (they're young enough it would be years before they could truly process everything) . . . and due to a shocking lack of available men where I live. Not that this is a bad thing. Post Reply
shepherdess View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 30 Dec, 2010 10:30 PM wow shepherdingking! Good thing I didn't know about the point system when I was going through it!! Mighta been the highest score I ever attained in ANYthing! thank you all for your comments Post Reply
View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 31 Dec, 2010 05:17 PM It took me almost two years to start looking again after the relationship with the girl I thought would be my wife didn't work out. It was a mutual decision to call it quits but I'd never felt hurt like that before! I'm looking again now. shepherdess, do you yodel? :glow: chevy Post Reply
shepherdess View Profile History	How long before you start lookin? Posted : 31 Dec, 2010 10:34 PM Practicing Now! :excited::excited::excited::excited: ! Post Reply