COMMANDMENT #1: Thou Shalt Get A Life. Those that don�t risk living the �un-life,� which can be characterized by desperation, dependency, and/or depression. Fundamental principle: dating is not (and should never become) your life. Love yourself the way God loves you.
COMMANDMENT #2: Thou Shalt Use Your Brain. While there�s value in romance, feelings, and emotions, there�s a counter-balance that must be employed, and that�s called �thinking.� They suggest a proper balance between head and heart, avoiding going too fast, involving others in your dating process, and evaluating along the way as helpful steps towards exercising your mind.
COMMANDMENT #3: Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked. A principle from 2 Corinthians 6:14. While �opposites attract,� the authors point out that those �opposites� are often in the �minor� areas of the relationship. The areas that can be �compromised,� never in the �major� ones. Don�t fall into a myriad of dysfunctional relationship patterns that are marked by an imbalance of quality in character.
COMMANDMENT #4: Thou Shalt Take It Slow. Bottom line, relationships take time. �Take it slow, to get to know.�
COMMANDMENT #5: Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries. The balance of �responsibility� is a challenging one in any relationship. Not only ought we recognize and value our emotions and body as only �owned� by us, but how does one strive towards intimacy, which requires becoming responsible for someone else. And where is the balance? Boundaries, ultimately healthy and necessary, but delicate and difficult to discern.
COMMANDMENT #6: Thou Shalt Save Sex For Later. Because of the Christian flavor, this is an �open and shut� case for the authors; �God said so�now here�s why.� Their reasons? You experience wholeness, higher self-esteem, avoid dangerous or deadly diseases, and you ultimately value your body.
COMMANDMENT #7: Thou Shalt Not Fall For Sex Lies. Not only is not everyone doing it, and not only is it not possible to get pregnant, and not only will it bring us closer together, but they�ve got great responses to all of those lies. Celebrate purity, don�t be home alone, don�t date anyone who is a lot older, watch how you dress, and stay away from porn.
COMMANDMENT #8: Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs. Perhaps one of the most important chapters in the book. Any abuse, physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual, ought to result in an immediate break-up. There is no reasonable defense or explanation that can support any form of abuse�ever. Other warning signs are addictions, disrespectfulness, emotional baggage, denial, and irresponsible behavior.
COMMANDMENT #9: Thou Shalt Choose Wisely. Do not be fooled by externals, or blinded by sex. Look for great character, someone who is faithful, honest, committed, forgiving, and generous (giving). And be sure to check in with your friends, their other relationships (with friends and family), and give it lots of time. Reminds me of the quote, �the most unhappy people in the world are not single people wishing they were married, but married people wishing they were single.�
COMMANDMENT #10: Thou Shalt Take Action. So, if you�re going to implement these, any significant change in your life must be accompanied by action, literal, physical movement.
I've read the book...so maybe I'm cheating a little bit here! It's a really good book, by the way, and I'd encourage everyone to read it. It's practical without being preachy, and it's an easy read.
Commandment 1: Agree.
Commandment 2: Agree. I think this may be the part where they talk about not praying together as a couple too early in the relationship...that one really took me by surprise, but once they explained it, I agreed.
Commandment 3: Agree.
Commandment 4: Agree. The authors recommend 2 years minimum from first meeting to wedding day. I guess that is a good suggestion, especially for very young couples, but I think that a couple can know FAR before then that they are ready to get married.
Commandment 5: Agree. I think this was one of the best chapters in the book, actually.
Commandments 6 and 7: Agree 100%
Commandment 8: Agree, Agree, Agree!
Commandments 9 and 10: Agree.
I think that one overarching thing that I disagree with is that the authors seem to assume that they are talking to a young audience, and that each person will be dating many, many, many different people. That's fine, but it just got on my nerves a little since I don't consider dating to be a recreational activity.
"COMMANDMENT #8: Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs. Other warning signs are addictions, disrespectfulness, emotional baggage, denial, and irresponsible behavior."
Emotional baggage -- everyone has some. Irresponsible behavior -- by whose definition is something irresponsible? So I have to be responsible all the time? Boorrinng.
COMMANDMENT #10: Thou Shalt Take Action. So, if you�re going to implement these, any significant change in your life must be accompanied by action, literal, physical movement.
I really don't get how physical movement is related to, say, being responsible. I think these books must be written for people far more cerebral than I.
Agree 100% with the 10 commanments of Dateing...I didnt know of book...but the concept sounds purty safe and sane common sense to me in this fallen world....
There are lots of Weasels trying to get into the Hen house and Hens tryin to Weasel the Weasels outa something...:ROFL:
Thanxs for the Post and whats the name of that book ???
Silverfire - I agree with you about the emotional baggage - at least to some extent. We should deal with it in a healthy way, but there will always be some of it with us because of our personal life experiences.
