Author	Thread: Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry?
seeking_god View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 01:36 PM I think we all know the right answer to always wait for God to bring the right person when we are ready and mature in our faith. For me this a hard process. I don't know if am right, but is it better to wait on God, than be in relationships especially in dating relationships. Can we learn from being in relationships? If so, what kind of relationship should we be looking for? Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 03:34 PM I believe in something that is a cross between dating and courtship. With someone of my age, I do not think that any kind of micromanagement of the relationship by the parentals is necessary... or that it is even necessary to get their permission. But, I do think that we should not date recreationally. I believe that a man should only pursue a woman who he has known as friends for awhile first... And I'm not saying that they have to friends for a long time, but that there should be a period there where he's just getting to know her and, basically, screening her as an applicant. I do not think that a guy should just look at a pretty Christian girl who he knows nothing else about and jump right into asking her for a date. The minute the relationship becomes anything other than platonic, emotions get involved that are VERY hard to pull back later. So, a guy should ask a young lady some important questions before deciding to date her. And then he can rule her out before those emotions even get involved. My long distance honey and I were friends for about 3 months before becoming romantic and I'm really glad we had that time as just friends before other emotions started popping up, if only because those kind of emotions can tend to make one look through rose-coloured glasses. As far as whether or not you can learn things from relationships, you absolutely can, but sometimes it's hard to see those lessons through the heartbreak. Hearts are not things to be treated casually. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 04:05 PM The lessons you learn from other relationships teach you how to better relate to the woman who will be your spouse. While a lot of people talk about being friends before you start dating, I think that creates unfair characterizations of the relationship as platonic. Casual dating is a better option. If a girl catches your attention, you go on a date a couple times a month or so and get to know her better. That way you're being clear about your intentions, not pretending to be friends when you are actually interested in more than friends, and if you decide not to date more seriously, no one's feelings get hurt much. It's definitely wise to have accountability in a relationship once you begin seriously dating, but, like pixy, courtship is usually unnecessary outside of high school. If you are having fun and getting to know people, it's going to make you a better person and prepare you for the woman you're going to marry. Be just as careful though about getting emotionally intimate with someone as you are about getting physically intimate. If there isn't anyone who really catches your eye right now, then don't worry about it. It's no big deal. You'll meet women in time. When you do though, reject passivity at all costs! Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 06:56 PM Oh, yes! You absolutely should learn from every relationship. Family, friends, co-workers, dating. Good and bad. Seek and pray, and God will help you learn from every single relationship. If you aren't learning, you aren't growing and moving forward. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 12 Sep, 2010 11:28 AM I pretty much agree with Pixy. I don't date recreationally, but neither do I think that courtship is really appropriate/necessary for someone my age. Getting to know someone as a friend first is important. If the two people don't already have overlapping activities, though, that can be very difficult. In that case, dating might be the best way to get to know the person. It depends on the situation. So, my compromise is what I call "intentional dating." I won't date a person that I already know I'm not interested in. If I think he has potential (based on online contact, phone conversations, mutual friends, personal knowledge of him, etc.), I'll date him as a means of getting to know him better. Did that make sense? And yes, everyone should learn from their previous relationships. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 06:56 AM Dude, get out there and date poeple, but do not go into it with the maindset that you are going to marry every lady you meet. Just enjoy yourself, learn about people, learn about yourself, and just get out and about. If you stay couped up and just pray about something without takeing any action, you are going to fail hard when it is time to do something about it. We christians only truly grow by matching out faith with supporting actions, and who know through this you just might be a blessing to someone else. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 05:26 PM Dating probably makes the time go by quicker; I just assume meet people through common activities and if I'm really interested in someone, then date. I have a hard time dating if I can't see them as a potential spouse. I'd rather wait. Course, that makes for a long wait. Still rather wait. Post Reply
lazzer View Profile History	Is it harder to wait, than to date to marry? Posted : 22 Oct, 2010 11:03 PM I agree if the woman isn't marriage material why waste the time dating her! Post Reply