Author	Thread: He's Just Not That In To You.....
Admin	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 22 May, 2010 07:28 AM Have you ever known that your boy or your girlfriend is being cheated on? What did you do? Nothing? Did you tell them? Did it cost you that friendship or did they receive it? I have a friend who is married. I heard it third party that her husband has cheated on her. I always thought I would be absolutely loyal to whoever my friend is and tell them cause it 'was for their own good to know'. I have not said anything. I don't know it with any proof. Not wanting to be the messenger of that type of news and the grief and turmoil I know it will cause in the relationship keeps me quiet. Anybody else been in this situation? Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 22 May, 2010 08:33 AM dang. i would never want to be in that situation! i never have, so i do not have any experience to offer you. but based on the fact that you have no evidence it would prove quite futile for both parties. too much doubt and blame would be injected, i can't co-sign, i could just see lucifer calving out another notch in his belt and gloating to Jesus "where is your grace now?" *shudders at the thought* think about it, what would Jesus do? personally, i would pray and pray hard for their marriage, lucifer is obviously trying again to count for naught God's institution and make a mockery of us God's creation. i would pray firstly for God's will to be done; and if his will allows for his grace to be poured out without measure, and for all parties to see the error in their ways and be brought to repentance. then most importantly for forgiveness and peace, that passeth all understanding. let your heal bruise that serpant's head sister!:prayingf::prayingf::prayingf: Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 22 May, 2010 10:06 AM Don't do it unless you have proof...it would probably only inspire doubt and distrust even if it turned out to be false. If you have proof? Yes, you should...in my opinion anyway. Check the circumstances... :peace::peace: Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 22 May, 2010 04:27 PM Babygirl! I'm gettin' my back up again! I HATE gossip! I'd have had a battery of questions for the person that "shares" that type of malicious information. They had better be able to defend what they are saying with facts and not supposition. I can send you references of people that I have come down on (with love of course - maybe not) for spreading gossip that would hurt people I love. Gossip cannot be taken back anymore than toothpaste can be put back in the tube. With that said, I THINK I would speak to the husband first - as long as he has no history of violence or revenge. My motivation would be to restore my friends marriage and save her pain, not to blame or embarrass. If I thought the "gossip" had legitimate concerns, I would lay them out as they were presented to me. Then, the ball is in his court. He has the option of changing his behavior to change the perception, if he denies it, or tell his wife, if it�s true. I would warn him that he had 1 chance and that if I had verifiable evidence again, I would go straight to my friend. None of us know what we'd really do until we're faced with the situation, so PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. Rose Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 22 May, 2010 05:39 PM Yes, I have. I agree with the others -- you need to have proof before saying anything. Otherwise it is gossip, and you don't want to do that. In my case I did not have proof...... but all those around my friend did. And it went on for years and she kept defending him and turning a deaf ear. She would talk to me about what her relatives and friends were saying, and I asked her to seriously consider their words and to try to find out on her own. Well, she did find out -- in front of family and friends. It was humiliating and embarassing for her. So pray, BG, but I would not say anything to either one of them until or unless you have proof. Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 22 May, 2010 08:09 PM Thank you all for your responses. I have decided long ago, to not say anything. I agree with what you all have said, I would have to see him myself and I am pretty positive that I would say something, if I did. My ex, as a way to get it off his chest (I guess) told my best friend (who lives out of city) that he was having an affair and was scared that I was going to leave him when/if I found out. She told him she did not know why he felt compelled to tell her, but that I was her friend and she could not know and I not know. She told him that she was going to work that day (2pm-10pm) shift. She told him that she would call me when she got off work. If he had not told me, she would. He told me about 8pm. I love her for that! She has been my best friend for 21 yrs (beginning of college). Awesome!! :dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 23 May, 2010 01:31 PM Baby girl, I have been there. it was terrible. It changed me forever. I guy I know and his wife met at a place I worked at. She quit her job because he made great money being a trainer worker.2nd guy in charge.They hired a woman machinist who liked married men. The guy became my enemy over night.I was one bad person,ok. he new I thought they were having an affair. The guilt must have been terrible. He followed his lover all over the shop.We had 8 people in our shop.We did repair work. Now the boss told me hey so and so have been seen before work loving each other. This guy became impossible to deal with and he and I had it out one day.verbally- we both got suspended one day with out pay. A year later he was fired and somebody else's wife told that we worked with.End of marriage. So, I do not like cheaters. This guy had a real hot wife,better looking than the dirtbag cheater girl. Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 24 May, 2010 06:21 PM I used to work with this girl who adored her boyfriend, they had 2 boys together. she was a couple years older than him, no big deal. they argued alot but she never suspected him of cheating, he just liked to drink with the boys. he was a great dad and she really just loved him so much... i used to go over there to hang out with them and drink, (pre-Jesus) he was real cool... well one evening I went over there and she was running late and he told me to come in and wait for her and... yep, you guessed it...he put the moves on me, told me how much he cared about me and all kinds of mess. I left like a bat out of you know where! i was shocked...and i never told. she would've stopped being my friend and stayed with him. Needless to say I never went back over there but we still talk every couple years to catch up with each other. If it happened now, I would definitely say something. if i knew someone was cheating, I dont know what I would do. if I caught someone red-handed yes I would say but other than that, i dont think so. River Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 25 May, 2010 12:09 AM When I found out a guy I was dating was engaged...I never told her. She was a stranger who lived in another state and I figured she should have enough intuition to figure it out herself... Then when my ex-bestfriend decided he wanted me to be his "first" ...whilst he had a gf..I never told her...because again, she was a stranger and my allegiance was to my friend...whom I gently refused. Both of these guys eventually ended those relationships...and apparently I have great taste in men. :( Post Reply
View Profile History	He's Just Not That In To You..... Posted : 26 May, 2010 08:36 AM You live and learn, Happy. :dancingp: Post Reply