Author	Thread: Courtship vs Dating
Admin	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 21 May, 2010 05:15 PM These are not entirely all my words just what I believe in. Although dating may eventually lead to marriage, it is not intended to lead directly to marriage. The main motive behind dating is some kind of sexual stimulation and satisfaction. If someone would argue that point, I would say, "If it is just the company of the opposite sex you are after and not sexual stimulation, hold your sister's hand " Dating, is not in the Bible in word, principle or example. Courting= Courting is men and women seeking each other out, under supervision, for the purpose of finding a spouse in the will of God. This is scriptural. It is found in the Bible in word, principle and example. 1. God created us male and female, or sexual beings. 2. God instituted marriage as His righteous answer to man's sexual nature and need. 3. Courtship is the process that brings men and women together for marriage. 4. Therefore, courtship is part of the doctrine of marriage, and we can find principles and guidelines for courtship in our Lord's doctrinal statement about marriage. Dr, Don Green says, "One of the most beautiful and romantic things on earth is a couple, deeply in love with each other and united in an adventure to serve God by faith. " Just thought I'd throw this out there...for all to see, and comment. Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 21 May, 2010 05:36 PM Hi Courtship, Welcome to the forums. This is a well covered subject. Go to page 3 of this thread and you will find Dating versus Courtship threads 1-4. Then, go to the Ask a Girl forum and and find the Dating (4 pages) thread on the second page. Hope you'll find the information that you are looking for. Rose Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 21 May, 2010 07:24 PM Yeah...well covered...I'm just a little bit confused as to how we can put things into standardized categories. "Courtship" marriages seem to have the same risk of blowing up(if not more in my opinion) in your face as any other form of "pre-marriage" relationship...so whats the point again? There must be something else that we're missing here...and I think that "something else" can work under any circumstances. The courtships I've seen seem to be more like business arrangements between the so-called "more godly" people to find someone to help them "serve God better"...when the bible says to stay single if you want to serve God better. So there must be another biblical reason to get married. I don't see "courtship" in the bible. If we want to stick to stuff in the bible I should walk around with a bunch of camels asking for water, or fall asleep in a barn and hope a woman lays at my feet, or work for 7 years to receive a couple women from her father. God works in mysterious ways. I agree, sex is for marriage. Sex IS what makes two people married. But saying that courtship somehow makes a relationship "holy" or "better" or "longer lasting", or that it's "the only way", and that dating is somehow defined as evil and sexual...is very inaccurate....in my opinion. Show me a courtship in the bible and I'll show you a ton more where the man was handed a woman like property, or more where there was no "pre-marriage" relationship at all, or even one that started off with a murder...and these are all marriages that made it possible for Jesus to come into the world. How can you explain the laid out, guide-lined, standardized, godly principles behind those relationships? :peace::peace: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 21 May, 2010 10:26 PM There are plenty of people who date for the specific purpose of getting married, seek to honor God through the whole process, and are not in it for sexual satisfaction of any kind. Have you never heard of Christian dating? Post Reply
View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 21 May, 2010 11:52 PM @DontHitThatMark: Thanks so much for posting. I as a woman can only speak from my womans point of view, I am weak and in dating a christian man that I am close to...well, I'll put it this way even just holding hands can be quite invigorating for me. I know my self well from past mistakes, that is why I chose to remain *pure* and not date, but court my future spouse. My oldest daughter recently got married (6 months ago) she and her husband courted...they saved their first kiss for their wedding day. It wasn't easy but they realized and chose for themselves that they would work hard to remain pure for their wedding day, and I can see how wonderfully and beautifully God is blessing their marriage...Doesn't mean it will be perfect by any means or that they are *above* any other christians, just what they felt God wanted them to do so they obeyed. Again, this is my belief, how I feel, I am not saying everyone should court or they are____???, no not by any means. You said ""Courtship" marriages seem to have the same risk of blowing up(if not more in my opinion) in your face as any other form of "pre-marriage" relationship...so whats the point again""? The point I see is this: (Again this is how I feel and these are not strictly my words but articulated how I would explain it) Dating trains people to confuse infatuation, lust and strong emotions with genuine biblical love.(This is so true for women-Ive been there) Biblical courtship is a great blessing. (What I refer to as biblical courtship is taking temptation out of the pic, where dating is temptation not just knocking @ your door but living and breathing right next to you)!!! It takes the extremely important process of finding a life partner out of the realm of human autonomy (irrationality, fleeting emotions, lust and romance), and places it squarely upon God's infallible word. You said" The courtships I've seen seem to be more like business arrangements between the so-called "more godly" people to find someone to help them "serve God better"...when the bible says to stay single if you want to serve God better. So there must be another biblical reason to get married". I am not speaking of a business arrangement by any means...it's like being best friends, then falling in love...And I did not mean to imply that courtship makes a relationship holy, only that I hope to honor God by not lusting and falling into sin which I personally know dating would put me into.Honestly, does making out turn a person on???And could a person stop @ just making out??? Not from what I have seen or experienced, it is very progressive...sooner or later. Again my dear, I am speaking from my heart, how I feel and how I have experienced life and how I don't want to fall into lust and sin again, but be pure on my wedding day. Hope that clears it up for you.:applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 22 May, 2010 12:15 AM @springrose10: Thanks sweetie for the info...it is so nice to know that there are others that are like minded...I have seen some of your posts as well and I do appreciate them.:yay: Post Reply
View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 22 May, 2010 12:23 AM @ Tulip89: I think with my prior post I covered what you asked of me. Thanks for responding and sharing your opinion. It is of my opinion that some may be much stronger than others when it comes to sexual temptation, as some may also have stronger drives...Please don't take offense to my words and opinions, no offense is intended....I know my weaknesses and faults and prefer to guard myself and my heart against such. I wish the best for you and the others who posted.:waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 22 May, 2010 07:37 AM Well there is a guy who feels just like you here and has been debating back and forth with folk. Maybe yall can hook up and court! It would be cool to hear the testimony! :dancingp: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 22 May, 2010 09:07 AM If you say you need something more structured and supervised to help you deal with struggling with lust, then that's fine, but courtship is not directly biblical. It isn't unbiblical, but merely an application of principles found in the bible. Whenever dating follows those principles as well, it is just as biblical as courtship. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 22 May, 2010 10:00 AM Then I'd agree on that point, avoiding temptation is a good thing. It all depends on what you can handle then I suppose...how you approach the relationship. In my view, romantic relationships and marriage are about attraction(not the worldly kind), loving someone so much you don't want to be separated from them by anything, companionship...not to somehow become more godly. There is a godly way to do everything, but I believe that it's simply to try to put God's will over your own. Doesn't matter what courtship/dating format you use. I guess that was my point...and also that God works through many different ways... :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Courtship vs Dating Posted : 23 May, 2010 12:11 PM dating could also be called courting. You meet someone and date in groups. Couples dating, this way you are not alone with that other person. The word dating is a English word.I will have to get my dictionary out and look it up.Dennis Post Reply

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