Author	Thread: Stuck Up
Admin	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 06:48 AM In a different post I said "No one really wants to know me because I am too quiet and characterized as stuck-up." What I meant was that a lot of people judge me and label me as stuck-up without making any kind of effort to get to know me because I am quiet. It has taken me a really really long time to be able to accept that I am quiet by nature, and some days I still have a hard time with it. Almost everyone I was friends with in high school said to me (at least once) "You're quiet, but I'm going to change that!" and some friends even take credit for changing me! But every time someone said that it made me feel like there was something wrong with me because I was quiet. Through most of high school I talked as little as possible because I didn't want to say or do anything that would make me look stupid. I have come a long way since then. I met some amazing ladies and made some amazing friends in college that helped me to see that God made me to be quiet - and for a specific reason - and that it is OK to be quiet. If I have something I need to say or that I want to say than I will say it, but I'm not going to speak everything on my mind because that isn't who I am. I know who I am, and who I belong to! I'm not going to change to be someone I'm not just so someone will like me, they are going to have to like me for who I am! When I change as a person it will be because my Father is doing a work in me and convicting me of something that needs to change. Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 10:58 AM well as another person that's naturally quiet, here some thoughts i have on being quiet: we need to learn how to reach out and make friends and good acquaintances for support. you can't always count on people always reaching out to you and hope their intentions are good. encouragement, motivation, etc. are contagious and go both ways, quiet, not quiet, good or not so good everybody is attracted to and feeds off of that. i think it's easy for us to ostrocize ourselves. and we shouldn't settle for that. and i don't know about you, but me personally, i think i'm quiet especially around new or unfamiliar people or situations because i don't know as much as i should on how to be confident and being a leader and it's easier to not try and say 'well that's just how i am'. if you're just starting to try, you will mess up. but that's ok. just keep trying. you'll get better and it will come easier. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 01:28 PM Being quiet isn't inherently wrong. I think it's just important how you present yourself. Two people come to mind. One is a girl I recently met named Sydney. She's friends with several girls I know, but right off the bat she was gave off "stuck up" vibes. I tried briefly to get to start a conversation with her, but she never lost the "I'm not interested in talking to you" vibe and never made an effort to carry any part of the conversation, so I just stopped talking to her. On the other hand, there's my friend John. He's equally as quiet as anyone I've ever met, but he just gives off friendly vibes. He's usually smiling, and when you talk to him, he doesn't force you to carry the conversation all by yourself. People are drawn to this kid like he's a magnet. Moral of the story? There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a quiet person. In fact, lots of people could use to be quieter and say less. Just focus on looking friendly and approachable. When people make the effort to get to know you, don't shut them down either. Everyone who starts a conversation with you is worth getting to know at least a little. Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 02:07 PM Hi Katie =) I'm naturally really quiet too... very shy and have a difficult time approaching people. And I've been accused of being a snob or stuck up quite a few times. I think what's important to realize about our personality traits is that they're not necessarily bad; our personalities were created by God, after all! However, sometimes we can exhibit these traits to the extreme or not surrender them to God and use them to feed into our own egos or defence mechanisms or whatever. So, I think that when others are consistently pointing out something in us that is negative, it does warrant some self-examination and prayer, to see if you're in error in the way you portray yourself to others and interact with people. For me, God showed me that I do need to reach out more... not that I need to be loud, or aggressive, or a social butterfly, but that I did need to open up my mouth and talk when it would be beneficial to others. An example of this is from my former job. When I first started there, I felt too shy to speak up at meetings much. But, there would be others that would speak up with really helpful ideas. And so I thought to myself that if I have something to say that could help someone else out, that I needed to say it, even if I felt really nervous about speaking in front of people. After doing that quite a bit, I became more at ease with that, and I find myself speaking up more often in situations where I used to just keep silent in. On the flip side, I've had people say that they like coming to me for advice, v. to other people, because they know that I'm quiet... that I'll hear them out and really listen before giving them my thoughts... that I'm not just going to take over the conversation. So, as with anything, I think it really is a matter of submitting to the Lord and letting Him guide you. I'm sure a lot of us need to talk more at times, and others, talk a lot less! Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 02:46 PM good advice pixy. I was quite at one time too.As I get older I am more outspoken.Dennis Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 04:38 PM go 'head girl! your in excellent hands! God bless nyanda:purpleangel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 05:13 PM pixy you mentioned your job and it reminded me of what somebody said to me when i was too shy/proud to get some help on something even though i was way in over my head: "So you're a one man show, huh?" It stopped me and made me realize real men (and women too) know how to ask for help. Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 08:05 PM I wouldnt worry about it. I'm quiet too and have been accused of being stuck up. the bottom line is everyone is different katie. thank God, lol can you imagine if everyone was quiet like us? I appreciate the way God made me and it took me a long time to do that. People made me feel like i was different until i got it in my head that it's ok NOT to be like the next person. A wise person once told me that there are 3 types of people: Analyzers Responders Reacters (sp?) He said "I'm an analyzer too" hehe, it made me feel good cuz he was my favorite teacher. sheesh, I ran with it from then on! God is perfect and He doesnt make mistakes!!!!! I hope this helped ;) Riveroflife Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 08:22 PM katiek.... I admire you... You know your makeup and who you are in Christ, and are in tune wtih you.:applause: You got the one up on some folk, my sister! Thanks for sharing! ~ GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 12:24 AM River Here's my take on it. Some people are Doers. They have to "Do"...they cannot be quiet. Some people are Be'er's. They just want to Be! And BUDWEISER is the King of Be'er's!!:ROFL::laugh::ROFL::dancingp::dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	Stuck Up Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 06:23 AM Arch :applause: ok ok I haven't laughed on the forums lately, where have you been???????????????? Post Reply

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