Author	Thread: Dumb Daters
Admin	Dumb Daters Posted : 23 Mar, 2010 08:47 AM Dumb daters never do a baggage check: article on www.solidrontworshipcenter.org - "Single But Not Alone" page. What do you think? Post Reply
shepherdingking View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 30 Mar, 2010 04:12 PM I liked the site. But the article on baggage is a little brief. The way to check the baggage is not during first impressions, even if you DO treat your date like a job interview ;>) Baggage falls into the category of "things of the past." I do not know anything a guy hates more than to be constantly reminded of past failures. We all know the online community, including dating, has it's own set of learning skills. We would all qualify as "Dumb Daters" to begin with. But we cannot let that fear ruin the "love at first sight" part of a romance. Baggage is usually hidden away and sometimes even lost. Let us loose the bad baggage and instead pick each other up. :dunce: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 30 Mar, 2010 05:34 PM I appreciate your comment. It is the issues of the past that enter into a new relationship that can ruin, what could have been, a good relationship. Many don't know they have issues until they enter into a relationship because they have been single a while and have done little dating. At that point of discovering issues is a good time to get past them. I am not a dumb dater - love at first sight? I don't know about that. If God's people would fall in love from the inside out there wouldn�t be any divorces in the Body of Christ. This post certainly was not meant to offend but to help. So many get caught up on outer appearances with no regard to what they are getting into. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 30 Mar, 2010 07:35 PM DanaLynn.... I did read that article, and it was pretty good.. Thanks for sharing that. You know, this Sunday, our pastor said something during his sermon, and that was.... as we're getting to know that person, and we even think of marraige with that person, we should ask ourselves the guestion... " Am I willing to die for that person?" And that was a serious moment for me, and it stuck with me too. Falling in love from the inside out IS the key, because as we all know, the exterior looks of a person can be deceptive and mislead your interpretation of the heart and character of a person. We do have to be careful. Not easy, but well worth all the spiritual advice and life experiences of those who've learned the wrong way, the "hard way". Thanks for the post. ~ GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 30 Mar, 2010 09:36 PM Gracemae, thank you for your coment and you're welcome. Good for your pastor. Not enough pastors are dealing with these single's issues. I appreciate that. Post Reply
shepherdingking View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 3 Apr, 2010 08:27 AM Dumb Daters, Hm. I'm sure every woman knows this. why they pretend it should not be so,... I do not know. Men are attracted by sight. i.e. From the outside in, not the inside out. :dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 3 Apr, 2010 09:50 AM Hey SK! I agree that you are correct about the initial "sight" but what about all the relationships that come out of friendships? Perhaps she wasn't attractive to him at first, but once he got to know her and got to see her "inside" it made him attracted to her. I know of several such relationships (even with the roles reversed). They seem to be very good relationships too. Just another view point... T Post Reply
shepherdingking View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 3 Apr, 2010 12:43 PM Yes, there are two parts and they should go together. "However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural, and afterward the spiritual," (1 Corinthians 15:46). Baggage usually comes out later if at all. The initial first impression is some of both, The emotional connection women seek and the physical connection men dream about. But initially I avoid being a "fault finder." A good key in relationships is conflict resolution. I love home on the range, where seldom is heard a discouraging word. But in choosing a mate you basically choose who you would love to resolve conflict with. And that means what kind of baggage they might have. Of course baggage handling is to some degree part of everyday life. I'd welcome certain baggage. But some baggage I would not touch with a ten foot pole. :purpleangel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dumb Daters Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 09:03 AM Thanks everyone for your thoughts. However, I don�t think being aware, alert and observant is fault finding. When being aware or alert it is not to cast personal judgment, but for safety. Like Shepherding said, some baggage he would be willing to deal with and some he wouldn�t. Most likely it is that way for most of us. Again, the point of the article is to caution people to not enter into a relationship blind to what could ruin their life. Blessings, Post Reply