Good question. I'm 26, never been kissed. (The kiss on both cheeks by my Italian friend doesn't count, by the way! After all, his wife was standing right there!)
I don't intend to kiss just anyone, but neither do I want to have my first kiss during the wedding ceremony. Talk about awkward. The first kiss will be awkward enough without it being in front of all our friends and family. If HE wants to wait until then, I guess I'll deal with it, but hopefully he won't be opposed to a practice kiss (or two or three) during the engagement!
I'm very torn about kissing before I'm engaged, though. In some ways, it doesn't seem like a terrible thing to do, but in other ways, it would seem like an in-advance-cheat if he's not the guy I ultimately marry.
So, to be on the safe side, I don't _plan_ to kiss a guy until I'm also planning to marry him. And even then, passionate and lingering kisses and serious "make out sessions" need to wait for marriage, when we don't have to worry about going "too far."
That's my opinion on it. I know a lot of people have very different opinions, so I'm interested in reading what they have to say!
Everything leads to you-know-what. God made us that way. "Be fruitful and multiply". First we are attracted to each other, we want to see that person more and more, then there is the desire to touch the person (hold hands...), after that there is always the yearning for more. Each step leaves us wanting more. Sorry to be so candid but He created us that way. No wonder Christians marry so quickly after dating.
Anyway, I am not waiting until marriage. Why make a pledge I know I can't keep. I DO plan on saving you-know-what though.
Anyone who can wait till marriage for a kiss is either super duper spiritually strong or boring. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I would think of a man who didn't want to kiss me but wanted to marry me.
dear folks,, b c , i think its great that you are wanting to wait till you are engaged to kiss your potential husband..
i dont believe there is anything wrong with a little restraint..
and that youve made it this far without bein kissed, well thats commendable.. it seems you have given it alot of thought..
i also think its awesome if someone wants to wait till theyre married before kissin.. though id guess itd be a short engagement hehe..
course i recon thats how they did it in biblical times.. there wont dating then i dont think.. they chose or their family chose and they got married.. best of my knowlege that is hehe..
isabel, im with you cept on the borin part.. i dont think it would mean theyd be borin..but what do i know about it hehe
i do think they would be trying to be spiritual and holdin to a set of principles theyve made for themselves..
im guessin maybe it was a certain verse spoke to em or summin like that.. maybe the way they was raised.. i dont know..
hmm... i think i would lean more toward if you want to kiss don't wait. otherwise it could lead to repression and bad decisions based on that. I can also see how it wouldn't be a bad thing either, to wait. i think it's about maturity, if you're mature it doesn't matter if you do or do not wait till marriage. I'm intrigued by the waiting till engagement idea. even though a kiss isn't technically sex, it is still sexual in that the point that it is to physically express love for somebody in a very deep way, it's not something to be taken lightly or as innocent and harmless as some may think.
Wow! Know your boundaries. Know your date's boundaries. Avoid boundaries!
Applause to bcpianogal! And yes, some can wait. At my church when I was a teenager we got a new pastor. I had just made it from the Children's group into the Youth group. The pastor announced he would talk with the youth about sex (yes, said the "S" word in church! This was about '67, in the south, at Southern Baptist Church after all!) with no other adults. I still remember the shock on his face when he said he thought young people dating should not be holding hands in church, or elsewhere - there was silence then we (ok, the older kids) burst out ! He told us about he and his wife, they shared their first kiss after the pastor announced them as husband and wife. Through the years I thought more about it. Think about it - all of intimacy, they discovered with each other. They were not wanting anything more because they'd learned it elsewhere. They were satisfied with each other. How ideal! How superb! How Godly inspired a n d intended - - yes?
Know your boundaries. How to inspire young people WHERE to set their boundaries? Older teens, young 20's or such need to step out, talk to youth leaders, then speak to the younger people to encourage them how or where to set their boundaries. To speak is not to say you are perfect. You are trying to help them. Help them avoid problems. Kids are getting sexually curious younger and younger. Help them. Sorry - side sermon!
Me and kissing? This is my second time around. First time around I had my boundaries set. Maybe that was a problem in that girls understood I didn't push the boundaries and they got very comfortable with kissing. There were some marathon sessions. I think the record was 1 1/2 hours. lol (oohh so red faced!) And yes, that was ALL that we did! And this time around? Hmmm, trying to imagine a couple in their 50's having an hour long smooching session - - - BWAAAhhaaaHAAA :ROFL: :yay: :ROFL: I'm sorry. I look forward to kissing but aaaaaah I just can't imagine that! Not saying it can't but - - it just hits me as tooooo much a teenager thing. I'm already getting butterflies just thinking about approaching a good night kiss!
Back to bcpianogal - pray about it. I already sense a stirring anticipation from you thinking about kissing your fiance. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean it's 'safe' now. Nothing greater than the perfect wedding gift - a person giving themself to their lifelong partner, pure, clean, untouched - priceless. May you find a man who is worthy of you. May he totally accept you, praise your restraint and go forward with you.
May we all have patience as we wait for God's purpose with our futures.
Thanks for all the positive remarks and encouragement about my stand on kissing!
Bamakodaker said: "I already sense a stirring anticipation from you thinking about kissing your fiance. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean it's 'safe' now. Nothing greater than the perfect wedding gift - a person giving themself to their lifelong partner, pure, clean, untouched - priceless. May you find a man who is worthy of you. May he totally accept you, praise your restraint and go forward with you."
You are right about the perfect wedding gift, and I do intend to keep myself pure for my future husband. That's also why I don't want to kiss a guy until I'm engaged to him...and those kisses would need to be very "mild" so that we don't go too far. I just don't think I could kiss a guy for the first time in front of all the guests! I've thought that if he didn't want at least one little practice kiss sometime before the wedding, I'd want to postpone the kiss until we were out the church doors, then pause for a kiss. I know how badly I blush!
But I'm not even engaged yet, so I'm really probably WAY overthinking this whole thing! The only thing I really need to think about at this point is keeping myself pure and setting boundaries in my current relationship. I can figure out the rest when it matters!
Let me just say that I happen to know a female who says if she kisses a man she loses all control. That's all I'm going to say about that. This is one example of why I say one should know the boundaries.
If I knew a man I was dating couldn't handle what I call a simple kiss, then I would avoid that kiss.
Your fingertips are the most sensitive area of your body...followed very closely by your lips (with the upper lip being almost as sensitive as your fingertips).
You can tell alot about a person and epecially how they feel about you through a kiss.
It would be a shame if you were a passionate person to find out after you are married that your spouse was not a passionate person. I feel kissing is appropriate at a certain point in a relationship and it is also a very good test of how discipline either person is and "will be" when married. If you cannot control your passion now brfore you are married...what will happen later if you become angry or are tempted by another?
Love (for me) is something I want to express, yet it is also something that can very quickly get out of hand and lead to sin.
So...as it's been said (and Written)...watch those boundries and avoid any occasion where you may be tempted to sin or at least know your limitations.
! He told us about he and his wife, they shared their first kiss after the pastor announced them as husband and wife. Through the years I thought more about it. Think about it - all of intimacy, they discovered with each other. They were not wanting anything more because they'd learned it elsewhere. They were satisfied with each other. How ideal! How superb! How Godly inspired a n d intended - - yes?