Author	Thread: I kissed dating goodbye? My book report, lol.. PT1
atlfan27 View Profile History	I kissed dating goodbye? My book report, lol.. PT1 Posted : 6 Feb, 2010 06:19 PM Yeah right, I don�t necessary would say that. I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a book by Joshua Harries which talks about his perspective on romantic relationship in regards to the scriptures. Funny thing, when I saw the title for the first time in 2003 I laughed and said, OMG there is a goody two shoes who probably believes that dating is a sin which all people must avoid it. However, in 2010 as a mature young adult, I said to myself; you know what; I would love to try reading it to see what his views on this issue are. The good news, I wasn't alone because a ton of his friends thought the same thing as me. It seems this book is geared towards people who are in their late teens and early 20's. So a guy like myself who is 28 years of age, a future graduate from college, who has already established goals in life, etc. Apparently I'm one step ahead of people who are younger than me or still in high school. I'm a person who is coming from a Hispanic background, I really don't agree some of his views on what he wrote. My views on a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (especially during marriage) a couple should spend a lot of time together and less time with friends. Family are an exception but considering a couple are going to spend the rest of their lives together while their close friends might leave for some other state or country; don't you think that your spouse is always going to be on your side. The concept of ladies or guys night is really unnecessary. One of the reasons of divorce is the couple doesn't spend enough time together, also that's how Eve had fallen into temptation because she left her husband side. God created marriage in the Garden of Eden. God made woman from man; I don't see God created additional human buddies or girlfriends for Adam and Eve. Now in regards to religion, I�ve come to realization, if a Christian wants to tie the knot it�s a good idea to have a strong relationship God first. If a person relationship with God is on fire, most likely you�re marriage will rock! If you want to stay single in order to be close to God all the time, that�s great. To the potential singles for the rest of your life guys, gals, nuns and; I consider this verse from Saint Paul. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:8 I�m hearing a ton of nuns are having babies nowadays. Keep that in mind� Yes it's extremely important to have Christ in your relationship but the thing is according to my own research, a lot of Christian couples especially in the southern states of the U.S. Divorce rates are skyrocketing. The state that has the lowest rate in the entire country is the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Yep that�s right, the state is in favor of gay marriage but somehow it�s telling me that they do care about the sanctity of marriage. Massachusetts is not a Bible belt state so I�ll assume married couples stay married without the excessive religion. Now it doesn�t mean we should turn our backs from God, after he is the one who got it all started. This guy cracks me up, seriously he does. He brought up the dream about his wedding day and all of his exes show up. Now, apparently a typical person would have several relationships prior he chooses the ones to marry. Well I say there is nothing wrong of exploring different people because it really gives people training on how they should treat that person. I�m against pre-marital sex but physical intimacy shouldn�t be a huge issue like he�s portraying. Affection it�s a must in any relationship because the couple can feel the love that they are receiving. We should take full control of ourselves but for medical reasons the human touch is a good and wonderful feeling. I haven�t finished reading the book but feel free to post your views and opinions so we can have a good healthy debate. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I kissed dating goodbye? My book report, lol.. PT1 Posted : 6 Feb, 2010 08:55 PM It's been a long time since I read that book. I loaned it to a friend a while back; once she returns it, I plan to read it again. When I read it for the first time I was probably 16 or so. I didn't care for it at all. I'm not sure WHY I didn't care for it. That's why I want to re-read it again from an older perspective. I do think that it's geared toward young adults (teens and very early 20s), and much of it doesn't apply to those of us who already have a busy adult life in full swing. But I also think that there are probably some good principles in the book that can apply to folks of all ages. I can't say that I agree with your observations 100% at this point, but you did have some interesting points. I hope you'll continue to post your opinions. Post Reply
atlfan27 View Profile History	I kissed dating goodbye? My book report, lol.. PT1 Posted : 7 Feb, 2010 07:18 AM Well he mentions people from high school, early years in college so I'm making those assumptions because the majority of people nowadays tend to get hitch at an early age then get a divorced within a few years. That's sad because i do see a lot of women who are around the age of 24, 25 with the status of "divorced" on their profiles. Does anyone care about marriage anymore? I think reading the book would be a good idea for you since you've grown since the age of 16. Trust me, when I was 22 in 2003, do you I think I would care as much reading that book if I was the age of 16. You're not alone.. LOL Pt 2 of this "book report" will be posted later this month since I got a ton of things on my plate. Post Reply
Prov31_Lady View Profile History	I kissed dating goodbye? My book report, lol.. PT1 Posted : 8 Feb, 2010 04:02 PM I'm 28 as well and I've read the book too. In my opinion, it seems that Joshua Harris was just responding to a huge crisis that he noticed was taking hold of youth and young adults - dating around with a whole bunch of people and no committment and no realistic plans for the future. His philosophy is DATE WITH A PURPOSE. I don't agree with everything he says, but I do think he gives us something to chew on. Dating just for the heck of dating - to feel affirmed and good about yourself - is just using the other person for your own benefit without ever considering the other person. I've also read the book "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping" by Heny Cloud and it's also from a Christian perspective. What he writes is just about the complete opposite from Joshua Harris. I like to think of myself as being somewhere in the middle. I think it's very wise to date with a purpose - to have the future in mind and only date people that could possibly be a future spouse - but at the same time, I think it's ok to date a few different people before committing to one of them exclusively. I also think it's actually a good idea to kiss (within moderation of course) before getting hitched. I've heard stories of women who found out AFTER the wedding vows that their fiance was a bit sexually abusive - they said if they had felt his kisses before hand, they would have known something was amiss. Also, I've only kissed one guy so far - we're not together anymore - but I'm glad we kissed b/c now I am more comfortable with physical affection, which I think is very important in a relationship. Since I don't have much experience dating, I used to be a little hesitant and somewhat afraid in the physical affection area. Now don't get me wrong! It's very important to set mutual boundaries and to keep things pure, but what I'm getting at is that people who wait until their wedding night to have their first kiss might find it slightly awkward since they have to go from first kiss to all-the-way in just once night!! But for some, this might be a good option - I'm just giving you something to think about. Either way, both people have to decide mutually what they're boundaries are going to be and they have to be willing to communicate with each other. So . . . moral of the story . . . BALANCE - maybe you should kiss random pointless dating goodbye, but don't be afraid to date people who you're really interested in - and don't set strict rules for yourself, but do set some boundaries. Post Reply
atlfan27 View Profile History	I kissed dating goodbye? My book report, lol.. PT1 Posted : 8 Feb, 2010 04:41 PM Wow! I like your post. Josh Harris makes life a little unbearable when it comes to physical affection. I only had one girlfriend in my life but I'm not feeling down because I kissed her or touched her. Yes balance is a must but as a guy, I love the human touch. Post Reply