I don't date men who are divorced merely because why should I have to deal with all their baggage of ex-wives when I don't have ex-husbands for you to deal with. I call this out on being what's fair to me.
Sure will get much hate mail on this since ur all divorced from what I can see.
If ur in a bad marriage then get out. People in church try to make you think that divorce is worse than any other sin they act like it's worse than murder and stealing. Divorce is a sin like any other sin and you can be forgiven for such sins. If people really practiced what they preached on board here then they wouldn't be looking for a wife on board here when they are divorced and their ex is still alive. Except for it be in the case where the ex wife is deceased or cheated on you then the bible states u are to remain unmarried. Ur sinning against the bible when ur searching for a wife.
It's wrong to support scripture when it supports ur case and deny scripture when it doesnt support ur case.
I believe that if a man or woman is in any kind of abusive marriage then they need to get out of that marriage pronto. God will forgive them just like he forgave the woman who had 5 husbands. God hates divorce but he never states anywhere in the bible that it's the unforgiveable sin like many of you seem to believe. All sin is sin and can be forgiven if u truly repent.
God never intended for women to be dominated in marriage and have no say. God wants us ladies to be treated like treasures where we submit to our husbands and our husbands submit to us. Where we treat our husbands like gold.
God is a good, just and fair God. He understands if ur going thru hell in ur marriage and will forgive you if u divorce. I love it how people on here are one sided and only support scripture that benefit them. The men just as much as the women have been commanded to be submissive. It's a 2 way street not a one way.
One of you keep making ludicrous remarks to support ur one sided view. Bethsheeba and the women who were married to David were married to a King no other than King David himself. Back in that time u didn't say no to a King if you wanted to live. I'm curious to know if she could've refused him when he wanted to committ adultery with him? Who says no to a King? I do know that she couldn't divorce him and leave or any of his other wives for that matter and expect to live.
We need to get out of an unhealthy marriage where, emotional, physical abuse is taking place. If he's into porn or cheating on you doping it up... drugs and alcohol then get out. He is commanded to love you like Christ loved the church if he's not then get out. God will forgive u divorce isn't the unforgiveable sin.
I don't condone petty reasons for divorce like he got fat on you or has bad habits like drinks from the milk jug and so forth.
I agree divorced people are judged as if they have committed the unpardonable sin. And your statement that divorce is just like any other sin is too simplistic. Do not take offense, but many who take great pride in their happily married life, (fewer now than ever), do believe divorce is a sin. And sort of emotionally lord it over the already fragile mental state of believers hurting from divorce.
Divorce is not a sin but can be caused by sin. Take the example of Ezra 10, the so called covenant of divorce. It was an act of repentance. They were told to divorce their pagan wives and they were to do it according to the Law. Jesus was asked about that too. How do you divorce according to the law?
Today we must have Biblical grounds for divorce. This is for adultery/fornication or abandonment of an unbelieving spouse. Additionally, Physical, emotional or mental abuse and/or abandonment is often held as a legitimate reason.
But the Biblical divorce according to the law has two parts. She must be first put away, which means separated physically and emotionally. And she must be given a writing of divorce in her hand saying she is free to marry. Deut.24:1-4.
Your statement that you would not submit to a husband, that does not love you "as Christ loves the church," could be seen as grounds for divorce. Even worse you could be stoned to death for looking at (mental adultery) another guy. This type of legalistic hardness of heart is what Jesus had to deal with. But HE came to bind up the broken heart. And we should treat the divorced community as casualties in need of healing and not judge them with condemnation.
A divorce guy may need more forgiveness and therfore love you more, as Jesus said Who is forgiven more, loves more, Luke 7:47.
When your spouse leaves you for a petty reason you are not commiting adultery if you remarry.I was told that when my wife left me with out due cause I am free.This is not a twist in scripture but you are to remarry if you can not control yourself. I wish to be married.I do like kids and was sent free because my x left me.We have no kids and that means no baggage.My future wife may never meetmy x.I have no dealings with my x now.
Not all people have to deal with an x after marriage.
I never had to deal with my x's last husband.I never even met the guy.
No I do not use scripture to my advantage.Never have, never will.
I do not believe if someone breaks those marriage vows for a petty reason was saved in the 1st place.Jesus wants a commited people. Not people who are here just for the good things.
To answer some questions,I have never made a anti-woman statement here.I am not one sided.My one post I wrote on a proverbs 31 woman was a progodly woman post.
In another post I said that the husband submits to god and the wife submits to her husband.So,since it is written that a husband is to love his wihe I did that when I was married.
I hated cats I let my wife have them.Then I liked cats afterwards.I gave a lot more than that up,ok.
My wife,Svitlana was not that loyal to me.I found out after marriage.She would only stay with me in the good times.
Before I got married I knew she could never have kids again.
If she got pregnant she would die.
Those vows are to be kept before and after marriage.
Better or worse
sickness and health
richer or poorer
Some people do not want a defective person.If they are fat or bald, divoroced, messed up. But jesus died for all of us.
If you do not want somebody for who they are why would you say that on this site.Jesus is for everybody.
I accepted my x-wife for who she was.I wanted children,did I go to a sperm bank and give my sperm to a woman to carry my kid.NO!!! That is not right.It is just so wrong. You need to think would a god fearing man do that too?
dear lady t, i totally agree with you that divorce is not the unforgivable sin.. that is to blasphamy the HOLY SPIRIT... thats the one..
here are some biblical reasons for divorce..
1 corinthians 7:10-15 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
matthew 5:31-32 31 "Furthermore it has been said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
matthew 19:9 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
mark 10 11:12 11 So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
1 corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
as we can see here there are some biblical reasons allowed for divorce. and id also like to add that i believe if you were divorced before you got saved then that was washed clean when you accepted JESUS as your personal SAVIOR same as all your other sins were washed clean then..
any other reasons she left shes sposed to wait and hope for a reconcilation..
so my council would be anytime a wife leaves a husband or a husband leaves their wife would be to take your time and pray and hope for a reconciliation.. no matter what the reason..
and if theres no hope for that then id look at the reasons they left .. are they biblical allowances..
if they are then id say ok proceed with the divorce if thats what you really wanna do..
then if they wasnt biblical reasons for the divorce then id say wait and pray for and hope for a reconciliation as i cant tell you its ok for you to seek said divorce and remarriage..
so if you decide to proceed with the divorce then understand that what youre doing if you remarry itll be goin against what the bible instructs us to do.. ..
and you will sure nuff need to ask for forgiveness if you do..
see if we dont understand that what we do is wrong biblically then we dont know or understand that we need to ask forgiveness for said actions..
but i believe that if we know that we are doing wrong and we ask for forgiveness then we will be forgiven.. all except for the blasphamy of the HOLY SPIRIT..
GOD didnt set up marriages between a man and a woman to even be divorced but moses because of the hardness of folks hearts allowed for it.. GOD meant for the two to become one and stay that way ..
but alas it doesnt always happen that way.. sometimes for things we can help and sometimes for the things we cant help or have any control over..
After rereading my message it comes across judgemental to victims of divorce. I apologize for this I don't judge you for being divorced. Thats between you and God. We are all sinners and all have fallen short of the glory of God. If an one here thinks they're not a sinner then they're the biggest hypocrite of all.
Cattleman provided some excellent scripture of biblical and nonbiblical reasons for divorce.
I compare getting divorced with getting drunk.
Many people are quick to say I can divorce and not sin just like they say I can get drunk and not sin. Sorry to burst ur bubble.....wrong answer....can't pull the wool over my eyes.
The time you get drunk even if you have someone else drive you home you sinned. The bible is clear drunkeness is a sin.
The time you divorce for unbiblical reasons you have sinned anything that goes against the bible in black and white is a sin. Even if after you divorce you don't remarry you sinned when u divorced for unbiblical reasons.
Now let's skip a doodle to my point for my post to begin with.
Drum roll pleeeeeaaaaaassee. Why thank u.
All the sins that I've mentioned like husbands refusing to love their wives like Christ loved the church, wives refusing to submit to neanderthol men, divorce, drunkeness all these sins are forgiveable because they're not the unforgiveable sin.
Many things are listed in the Bible as sins. Divorce is not one of them. Nevertheless we are to seek daily forgiveness (Lord's Prayer) for everything. But if you label Divorce a sin, it cannot be repented of or turned away from because you are stuck. Therefore it becomes unforgivable. The only remedy is lifelong celibacy and becoming a eunuch for the kingdom of God.
The church council on divorce seek the offending party. Making one partner guilty the other innocent. The innocent is free to remarry but not the guilty? It seems the offender who lacks self control in this area is the one that needs to be remarried. I would hate to be the one thinking they are without sin. Most on this site, being divorced, know the real reason for it, unrepentant self-centerdness aka a hard heart.
One more comment and I am moving on here.Chritian men should not be addressed as neanderthol men.We are told to obey god and I doubt that you will find any such men on this site.This attitude was with you before and any man that disagrees with you gets that title.I can not do certain things for moral reasons.that also goes into certain kinds of behavior patterns.
