It's quirky to see how a Christian dating site can look not much different than a secular dating site as far as people's attitudes and behavior go. Mainly the subjects being discussed here are somewhat different, but there is some overlap as well. Our eternal fates are obviously different from the people whose souls aren't saved that particpate in secular dating sites, but there should be a more pronounced difference that would attract outsiders and not repel them.
Afterall, this site can be used to win souls over to God's Kingdom. But I guess people get caught up in socializing, prooving their worth, and how holy they are, how right they are, how perfect they are, that they forget the opportunities for soul saving, for allowing the beauty of Christ to shine through, to love people as Christ loves us all, that does exist here. And by the nature of this statement, I know there will be several pride-filled Christians who will intentionally want to arguge this, point the speck out in my own eyes, and fail to see the empire sized log in their own, while moving forward in their own world of self-righteousness. If God is for me, does it really matter who is against me? I would hope not.
Should Christian dating sites be a place where people are judgmental, rigid, narrowmind, unforgiving, unloving, unmerciful, unaccepting, etc. I'm not name calling, or specifically saying someone's name. I'm not breaking the rules by this question, so don't shoot me for taking a risk. These are un-Christianly traits that Christians everywhere are full of, in church, out of church, etc. So, does it make right...to be that way even on a Christian dating site?
What attracted you to this site? Because it's free? Hoping for love? You like being in a safe place to hear a dangerous message of faith and love? Boredom? Loneliness? Enjoy picking out the flaws in other people? Do you see this site as a place to glorify youself, and to have a "platform" that perhaps you've dreamed of having, that God never gave you?
Has anyone visited secular sites? How would you compare them to the Christian dating sites as far as the people go? In the sense of their acceptance of you, their respect, consideration, and love towards you, and things like that?
Have you had any positive experiences on secular sites?
What's the worst experience you had on a Christian site?
I have been on a variety of Christian and secular sites over the years. In either case the goal is two fold. First to try and find "the One" lol, and then to be a witness. I have found many "Christian" ladies that are on Christian sites also have profiles on secular sites. It is interesting that some of them allow more provocative attire in their pictures on those other sites than Christian sites. Why is it that Christian women think they have to "compete" with secular women and compromise their moral standards to attract a man? What happened to trusting in God? When a woman places a picture(s) that reveal their body in a seductive manner....then I click next and sometimes I may even write them in a kind manner and suggest to them that there is no need to sell sex to a man in order to attract him. Sometimes I have gotten a favorable reply, sometimes a nasty reply and most of the time just ignored. Oh well.
Christian women like everyone else are trying to increase their odds so to speak. Throw enough fishing lines in the water and then you might improve your odds at getting a bite or getting the "Keeper". LOL Men are no different.
I have met some wonderful Christian ladies on secular sites and of course met lots of ladies who "thought" they were Christian for other reasons then Faith in Christ. Unfortunately when it comes to wolves among the sheep, there is as many on Christian sites as secular. A sad case but often true.
You can meet nice Christian people on secular sites but it is significantly much harder to do so.
dear folks, eternal i really dont believe thats a fair assessment of a christian site.. but you have that right to believe so..
ive had mostly all possitive occur on any christian site ive been on.. and the few times i was sent in to help clean them up still turned out to be a possitive experience.. it teaches you lots of things..
as for the christian people there i find are right genuine peoples.. just like anyone else self included can and do make mistakes and slip at times.. and some just like to stir the pot so to speak to see what comes to the top.. hehe
its open to the public on a chrstian site so you may have non believers amongst you. i dont care whether its on a site christian or secular or out on the town you still gotta be careful.. with your life, your heart, and even your beliefs..
the one big difference i see in the secular sites is though they have rules but not quite as strict,,,, also that not many people even care about enforcing them.. its almost like anything goes.. the forum topics are usually all sexual in nature.. or hinting at such.. or totally bashing a gender..
the difference i see in the christian site and the secular sites are also that the majority of folks on the christian sites are really coming for fellowship and love ,learning or sharing the word, or life experiences .. but also that the folks are trying to do good. cause we love our GOD and LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. we love our brothers and sisters.. those who are hurting and need to just be around and talk to others..or in need of prayer.. well youll find many many folks ready to lend a hand..
also as walter says the dress is usually a little more provacative on a secular site.
***"...But I guess people get caught up in socializing, prooving their worth, and how holy they are, how right they are, how perfect they are, that they forget the opportunities for soul saving, for allowing the beauty of Christ to shine through, to love people as Christ loves us all, that does exist here. "***
I don't see that here. Yes, I see diverse opinions and maybe some hardheadedness....but I do not see what you wrote in that sentence? I am really trying hard to see your point of view...but I just don't see it. Now I've never been on any other sites, but I would think that they would be a lot "loser"...sorry "Looser" than a Christian site. What I do see Will, is you continuing to "rattle" cages. Chill....try to limit yourself to four New Threads a week (or people might think it a desperate attempt at being noticed) and you have to...have to...stop egging people on with statments like:
*** "...And by the nature of this statement, I know there will be several pride-filled Christians who will intentionally want to arguge this, point the speck out in my own eyes, and fail to see the empire sized log in their own, while moving forward in their own world of self-righteousness."***
Why would you not think that someone would not comment on that? This is a fine site. If you are having problems on this site...don't blame it on the people here. If you are having a problem with any individuals here...e-mail them and either work it out or agree to drop it, but you have to stop prefacing your statements with negative references to the people on this site.
I'm formulating another more-lengthy and detailed response (where I do mostly agree with you), but just in general with each post you're making, you're only hurting your likelihood that women will actually contact you.
Come here talking about how bad your experience has been at other sites--and how people here aren't any better---it's like you're a blind self-saboteur.
Freinds before I got married the 1st time I did visit non christian sites and now that I am single I had a glimpse.I checked out a site that did not reveal what was coming my way.Non christian sites are filled with porn.No more visits to those sites.Not interested.:stop:
I feel safe on this site.The womesn here will not send me offensive pics.Over all I like most of the people here.Even the hard headed ones.:boxing:The differences in views as long as they are not a warped style of thinking is ok.We have different experences that cause us to be who we are.
When I 1st got saved and became pentecostal I had to pay.I received letters saying if I did not do something I would pay for it and I was so bad for joining an occult.:ROFL: My one grandmother did that to me along with my aunt.I was the :devil: for getting saved. It is so strange at my grandmothers funeral I cried and finally said I forgive you.I went out in the service and sat with my family then my aunt got even.She spoke and said that only those that she liked did anything good in the family.I was not allowed to be a paulbearer.:stop:
freinds I am willing to use tuff love to get someones attention to repent.If they are in sin and refuse to repent yes I will confront them.That is not a double standard but battle harded experience.I am gentle but firm.It is ok to disagree with me.No insults or reprisals will come.:peace:
I have nothing to say to my aunt because I will not sin.I will have no contact.It is done to prevent sin,ok.
excommuncation sometimes is done for protection of your sining against the offending party.I will never trust her.
So, yes sometimes I will withdrawal to keep the peace.
Yes, my family has problems.The extended family who I will not see.
I feel that many of you will understand this post.:prayingf: It is written to inform not debate.
We must be wise as to not allow are selves to be in a place to sin.It is the attitude of the believer.:peace::peace:
You know, when I relate to, understand, and like a person's thread/post, I usually respond, or find deeper motivation to.
When I can't relate to, understand, or dislike a person's thread/post, I find less motivation to reply.
I guess I see the discussion boards as opportunities to affirm, confirm, and challenge my faith, beliefs, and values in a good way. Sometimes you get snagged along the way, but that's a risk you take for getting involved, for learning about people, and learning how to get along with people in this long, distance, romance, we all share on here.
Also, objectivity is always a good thing, and to focus less on the person who authors a thread, but upon the actual subject of the thread. Everyone on here is as unique as a snowflake. If there is something of value to the thread that doesn't pick apart the authour, I can see how that would be the best option of all when responding.
Without God's love, I am nothing. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. I seek to lean upon His understanding in the Spirit, and not my own limited understanding in the flesh. My glory I seek not, but the greater good of God's, I'm truly desperate for.....like we all are.
You have been giving me so much attention lately. Will you be my friend? grin!
When you read Paul�s letters there is no attempt by him to Tout himself or �Blow his own whistle�. When Paul self-deprecates himself it is genuine and sincere; there is no ulterior motive lurking within his words.
Will, from your very first post I sensed something �different� about the �tone� and �tenor� of your words. Each subsequent Thread (and you�ve given me numerous ones to read) showed me more and more of your personality.
Some of my responses to your posts were meant to �elicit� a response from you and you did so. Your intelligence is very obvious in your writing and that is not being questioned here. What I want to point out is your constant pseudo-self-deprecation and showing everyone how you are being �persecuted� for your �beliefs�.
It appears that your goal in life is to titillate and excite�create �Drama�.
You even made a very well-known Christ statement �Who do you say I am?� speaking about yourself. Well, Will (I sound like Elmer Fudd) I am doing just that.
In this post you wrote:
�Without God's love, I am nothing. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. I seek to lean upon His understanding in the Spirit, and not my own limited understanding in the flesh. My glory I seek not, but the greater good of God's, I'm truly desperate for.....like we all are.�
Very Pauline�very self-deprecating � if it were truly that, but in reality it is really another attempt at a scantily clad form of narcissistic egotistical self-aggrandizement.
Look back at all your posts Will and reread them�there is a �theme� to them.
I also know that by responding here I am feeding your ego and in effect �drawing attention� to you and your cause. Listen to your words:
�Thank you for taking an interest in me, but I'm not worthy of all the attention��
Do you not see how childish and immature it is to constantly say �thank you for showing me all this attention and interest and I will continue to keep trying to garnish it by showing and telling you about my learned skills and accomplishments and intelligence and how well read I am and how humble I am and I will do this incessantly; YET�I Am Not WORTHY of all this attention!
Will, can you not see this? You have the need to play the part of the lowly � humble � servant boy, who is still this highly intelligent, articulate, insightful, compassionate, strong leader that will show the village the way to the new promised land (only if they could learn to understand and Obey him).
A poor servant boy who is being persecuted by the village �prudes� who are threatened by his charisma and �charm� and obvious leadership abilities and if that servant boy could just �hang in there�, the village people will see the �Light� and rally to his side.
You have changed your tactical scheme and that tells me that you play chess. Well then�I see your Opening as a rather aggressive one�.say a Queen�s Gambit � which did not work because you underestimated the players you were up against. So you switched to a more distractive approach�say swinging your Knights out and trying to Castle your King�s Rook. This only made your position more exposed and open to close scrutiny and very predictable. I have you Check-Mated in just 8 moves. If you move to a Queen-side Irregular Defense, it will only delay the end by 2 or 3 moves.
What do you say Will, I see signs of you coming down to earth somewhat. You want to try this again? I�m all for that�.fresh start! No more Chess! How about Backgammon? Checker?.....Hearts?......Go Fish?
Or will Will take his ball and go home? Friends?
Oh...by the way...Say Hi to Professor Drew for me.
I enjoyed reading your response. Thanks for taking the time to share. You answered this in a way that the post was created for....to inform and not debate. I hope more people will share in the same light as you did. Have a Merry Christmas!
