I wasn't sure where to post this exactly...but this is something I have been thinking about for awhile and would like to get general opinions. All I have heard is the usual "it depends on the situation/dynamics.." which is a DUH! response to this question. I want specifics. If you are going to answer, give situational advice. Here's the question....
Should a woman succumb to traditional gender roles and do most of the cooking/cleaning/childcare (and maybe take on part-time hours/volunteer work..) while the husband is the breadwinner....or should both parents work full-time, send the children on their way, and split household duties?? What if no children are involved? What's the general consensus on traditional gender roles? This has been on my mind for awhile and I am interested in responses....
Again, whether you are arguing for or against traditional roles, I'd like to have solid reasons/situations, not "depends on the circumstance...." Obviously it depends on the circumstance, or there wouldn't be multiple options. Opinions widely sought and accepted! =)
Friend if you have no small children working 2 very good jobs is ok.Good paying jobs help save money for when you do not have good times.Also,I worked 2nd and 3rd shift for awhile.My X worked 1st and 2nd.That is good if you have small kids.Working different shifts means somebody is up to take care of the kids.
I am not too concerned about who is the bread winner.Who earns more is not an issue to me.
Hope my real life experience has helped.:applause:
I'm forever grateful for the few years I was able to be at home with my two small sons. There was lots to do at home, in church, community and family - I recall a sense of purpose and fulfillment during those times.
Sadly, life's up and downs did not permit that to continue. But there were lots of blessings on that career trail as well!
Who was the person who advised to "bloom where you're planted"?
Traditional gender roles are sometimes unrealistic. Working woman take jobs away from men not because they get paid less but because they are such excellent workers. Men are left scratching their heads.
And Men who work hard all their lives can get burned out, downsized, suffer injury/illness and die earlier. And while men are told to lay down their lives for the wife, I do not think any women WANT to become widows. Though I could be wrong about that. :ROFL:
On the other hand,
The Proverbs 31 woman worked in home and out. And it says her husband does not suffer lack. In fact her husband is down at the gates hanging out with the other guys, vs 23. He is respected, no doubt because she is such a good wife.
Isaiah 4 tells of several women who will provide for themselves just to be married. That is not a
"traditional" gender role, but it IS in the bible.
So why would any man want a high maintenance woman, suffering from NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) who drains him of any desire to continue on. The husband may seek to lay down his life just to get away. :ROFL:
That all sounds good in theory, Dave, but realistically, that has not been my experience at all in the good old boys network.
A great number of women today are not in the workplace for the want of those jobs anyway. Many of us have been left with no choice in the matter. To begin with, the women's movement while advancing women greatly, has also limited our choices immensely as well. Many of us would LOVE to stay home and be Mothers and keep house and participate in PTA and bake sales and all the things women long took for granted. Most of us cannot afford to do this, even if we have husbands, for a man can no longer provide for his family and it now takes two incomes to support a family in many cases. Also the break up of the family has left us no choice. When families break up for any reason, it is generally the one with the children that suffers most for child support is often lacking or insufficient.
I don't know that the Lord ever intended for women to have to be this strong in this way, but the world has created circumstances that we all need to adjust to simply to survive and provide for our children. As far as women being paid less because they are somehow worth less, open your eyes, Dave. We all look at our work places and see people there collecting their paychecks, putting forth as little effort as possible to keep them, all the while abusing their benefits, while coworkers that come to work and do excellent work, receive no real compensation, they are only asked to do more and more and rarely promoted as they become more and more valuable as a worker. Gender has little to do with it, for often promotions are made in ways we might not even be able to appreciate they are so unfair.
But something I learned at my last just as I was figuring all this out along the way, if you are not promoted, you are not in the lime light, and if the place becomes so evil you can no longer be proud to work there, well, it is definitely easier to leave from the bottom than from the top. The more you make, the harder it is to make adjustments when it is time the Lord wants you to move on to a better place where you can live.
There is little fairness in the way things are doled out anywhere anymore, which speaks to the wicked ways of the world we live in. Sometimes dwelling upon things we cannot change is futile and upsetting, not time well spent to His Glory.
If we accept that we are where we are right now for a purpose toward His Glory and try to figure out how that fits into His Plan, we are far closer to learning what we need to know to both be a blessing and receive His blessing.
I think when He comes again, once more all things will change and we will see how the place He has for us is a perfect fit unto His Glory, and it will be a place that the yoke fits easy and we are not left with that feeling that things are truly not fair in the work place. For if you feel today that they are not fair, you are right, a fact that is best accepted and dealt with by knowing the Lord will not only take care of it in time, but will take care of you always if you but seek the path He puts before you. Circumstances change, but if you let them roll and put your faith in the Lord, He will find a place where you can live under His Blessing.
