Sorry but I owe all you girls and guys an apology. I'm very sorry. Pray you can find it in ur hearts to forgive me if not I understand.
It was never my friend but myself seeking an anonymous sperm donor. I wanted to see why people are against this so much. Don't feel obligated to try to talk me out of it my mind is made up.
The procedure is affordable I found out only bout 500$. I still will be seeking a Godly husband before during and after pregnancy if the Good Lord has mercy on me and let's me get pregnant.
If a man doesn't want me and my potential baby then it's his loss. I feel pretty strong about after I have my baby I'll find a Godly man to father my baby. There are many men who step to the plate and are more than willing to father babies that aren't biological this kind of man with this kind of character will steal my heart away. I just know it. I feel strongly that if it's God's will I'll get pregnant if not I won't. I won't have any regrets as long as I at least try once.
I feel with every breath in me that I'm making the right choice and it's now or never. I will never allow my baby years to pass me by and be 50 single motherless with regrets. That's not how I operate. I've always went after what I want and don't let anyone or anything stop me outside of God.
Just wanted you all to know the truth.
God bless all you beautiful people who shared ur time regarding my e-mail's on this subject.
dear kimberly, wow, i must say i never expected that out of you.. but you have asked repently for forgiveness and therefore i myself do forgive you.. we all have and do make mistakes in our lives.. it takes guts to own up to em..
Kimberly, as you may well have guessed, I could tell this from the start, and I know you think I am against you, but I am not. I have no problem forgiving you at all, that is the easy part. But I do fear for both you and your unborn child in this, for you yourself have concerns about the Tribulation, and now you will also have a child to protect in the difficult days ahead.
It has been my experience that the Lord often allows us to take the reigns when that is what we want to do, but it rarely comes out the way we plan it.
But parenthood will teach you things about God that only being a parent can really drive home as you learn that children are both needy and selfish, which is how we are with God, but yet we love our children with a love that is beyond words, as God loves us beyond our comprehension.
I begrudge you not at all for wanting a child. But I do sincerely wish that you would seek His Wise Counsel on men for it is obvious you have been let down and hurt by men, as many of us have, but it is not fair to make all men carry the burden of that pain, and I think there is a suspicious nature that is easy to adopt when this happens. I know I too have struggled against it, but I have also seen a lot of broken hearts over situations that are similar to what you are trying to create, and I worry that you will be given your way for the stubbornness of your nature on this, for truly it is ill advised Sister There are so very many ways this can go so terribly wrong for you.
I truly believe your blessing is out there, but it is not a blessing that you give yourself. Blessing rarely are. Blessings are something you give away and they come back to you.
I beg you continue to seek His Will on this my Sister, and pray "Thy Will Be Done Lord, and give me the courage to accept and understand Your Way, whatever that may Be."
When our emotions are so strong, it leaves us so vulnerable to the devil's attack, and I worry your desires might be taking you down this road. I really believe the Lord has a better plan, and I hope you will seek His will and accept whatever way your path takes.
I know this is affordable Kimberly, but how many times will you try? Will you try once and accept if it does not happen that it is His Will? Or will you continue till you get your way on this?
I think our own stubborn nature is our greatest stumbling blocks as Christians. Seek not the opinion polls of any man (or woman) but seek the Will of the Lord who will not abandon you despite any of the many selfish things that we all do. But I have learned that the bigger the mistake we make, the more we tend to pay for it in the consequences of that choice.
The forgiveness is easy, it is the living with the outcome that is not always as simple as it seemed like it would be.
The kindest thing I ever did for myself Kimberly was to find a good counselor that could help me unravel all that pain and hurt, and I feel so much better and healthier for it. I would urge you to spend six months in counseling with a counselor you enjoy and respect before you make any hasty decisions, for your child deserves a Mommy that takes care of herself not just physically, and spiritually, but emotionally too, for the path ahead is not a smooth path by any means, and a child will definitely make it more complicated.
But rest assured, God and His People, will still love you and accept you whatever the future holds for you. I hope that you can accept that about us, that our counsel of you has not been meant to be harsh or severe, merely a stern warning that this path is not advisable in accordance with what the Lord has spelled out as His Plan for the creation of a family. I would also have concerns about carrying a child of a man of which I know nothing, for this "father" could be a truly evil person that is not a saved Christian and we do tend to inherit the "sins of the father" from both parents. (alcohol gene, emotional issues etc)
I still believe as well that if you seek your ministry in the Lord, that you will find what you seek in Him, and through Him, for He provides all our needs and knows our every desire, so seek that direction as well in your walk.
Your desires for a child are God given and from Him. God created woman to want to be mothers. I would encourage you to trust God in this situation. Sometimes His answer to our desire is just around the corner and the enemy satan presents an alternative that seems like it could really be God's will. We are to test the spirit, and take time to see if indeed they are from God. Having a first child is a joy and the greatest joy is to share this with the father of the child. I would hope that you don't miss that joy. I am praying that God send you a husband who will love you and give you the desire of your heart. You are an attractive woman, and I do know that if you trust God, He will give you not only a child but a father that births that child. Trust Him and don't settle for second best.
I'm sorry. Thank you for ur forgivness. Sounds like some of you read thru the lines and realized it was me wanting the baby not my friend. I hope I didn't hurt anybody I never want to hurt anybody. I thought it was harmless creating a third party view but then started feeling guilty for doing it. I want to be pure when start procedure to have my baby and don't want any unconfessed sin hanging over my head. Thankx for ur forgivness it means a lot to me.
I've been considering doing this for a long time so my mind was already made up before my original post on this topic.
I really love men if I didn't I wouldn't be on singles website praying to catch one...hook...line and sinker. That's all up to God of when I'll find my husband.
Many technologies in the Christian world first started off as taboo for instance birth control, fertility pills, ultrasounds. Now most Christian women and men have used some form of contraceptives. I believe thats how Inteauterine Insemination is starting off but give it few more years and it will be just as accepted as birth control. Maybe I'm just a little ahead of my time.
The only reason I'm doing this now as opposed to waiting for marriage is
because of the biological ticking clock factor and can't afford to waste any
more precious time. If I keep hem hawing around it'll be too late and I'll
have GINORMOUS regrets. God gave us a free will and an open slate our
life is what we make it. Like King Solomon the wisest man thar ever lived summed it all up the only thing that really matters is to be fear God and
obey his commands.
Personally think my baby deserves a mom who's young and hip and not
embarrassing her at her graduatin at age 70. If I had a man I loved now Id
get married after one year engagement. I dont have a man I love in my life
now so this is why I'm doing it this way. It's really all up to God. As I state before even after paying 500$ I only have 20 to 30% chance of getting pregnant. Very slim odds but with God all things are possible.
So I know you don't agree with me on this one. Sometimes we have to go with what feels right in ur heart and this by golly does. So I'm willing to go against the grain for my very own precious baby that's a part of me and desire to please God with my baby and teach my baby everything I know about my precious Jesus. I have my family and friends support on this so feel very blessed to have that. I do think the Christian singles sites is where have faced the most oppostion. I'm sure it has something to do with men looking for wives not wanting women to feel like they can have a baby without a husband then they wouldn't be needed. I agree babies and babies mothers need men. I respect the men for standing up for their view points on this. Seems like married men and women are more acceptive of this procedure than the singles which I found to be very puzzling.
Please understand that I didn't just out of the blue decide this. This has been thought out for many, many months.
Gbu
Kimberly:-)
Ps I felt with Tarasye long reply I owed ya all a long reply back.
I could not sleep so I thought I'd go online and I'm glad I did.
You confessed because God's Truth was convicting you. You "inherently" knew it was wrong to lie by ommission and have "fessed" up and told the truth. You made a mistake...an Error in Judgment. Evreyone of us has done that in the past. When you initially decided to withhold the truth, you thought it was a good idea. You've since realized it was wrong. I and I'm sure everyone here forgives you.
Kimberly, what you need to think about is
"what if you are making another mistake?" Just as you did just now with the lying? This one you will not be able to "correct". This one may always be a reminder to you of the mistake you made. You may end up resenting this child.
Men are paid (most of them) anywhere from $30.00 to $200.00 for their sperm. If your procedure is only going to cost $500.00 guess which sperm will be used. You have to ask what is the Quality of this $30.00 sperm? Who would sell there sperm for $30.00?. What DNA deficiencies or mutations does this $30.00 sperm have? Is it from a drug addict who stole someone's wallet and counterfeited their identification?
Does the DNA have any genes that might influence behavior such as Homosexuallity, abusive behavior, criminal behavior, alcoholism, addictions etc? With an actual man you'd be able to observe them and see these traits and hopefully be warned.
If you are going to keep it a secret from the child, you better not tell anyone else because the child will eventually find out and be very upset that you have been lying to them. What are you going to tell them about their Father?
Another thing is that already cases are being heard in the courts about the rights of the "donor" father. Eventually they will be given "full" rights to their offspring. What happens if 8 years down the road your child's "father" shows up at the front door with a court order? And don't think that your child will not find out, because DNA testing is becoming more and more an easy procedure and your child may one day be able to run tests on their's and your DNA right in school.
What about medical concerns? For $500.00 will you get a complete history of the donor's family history for 3 generations? A history that may one day Save your child's life!
If you have the child you will need to find that husband within 2 years to allow that baby to bond with their new father. The closer the child gets to age 6, the more difficult it will be for the new father to be considered "DAD" and by the age of15,16 the separation will be complete. I know I've been there. Also you will tend to side with your child, instead of standing next to your husband -- which ends up aligning both you and your child -- against your husband.
This "technology" is leading us closer and closer to the day when you won't need a man to have a baby period! Right now....today....this very moment -- researchers are working on converting stem cells in to sperm cells. So eventually you will be able to use your very own stem cells to get yourself pregnant!....Whoo....Boy....won't God love that!!
A Ms. Jane Doe
http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_49591.asp?iruid=5619 has filed a paternity suit against her Sperm Bank to learn both the identity and medical history of her sperm donor.
Her twins (since birth) have suffered poor health which Jane Doe believes may be due to a paternally inherited health condition.
Kimberly, I work with convicts that are being released back into society. 80% of them come from a FATHERLESS home! 80%!
You are also placing barriers in the way by not allowing divorced men into your life. They made a mistake -- so have you in your relationships...the only difference with your's was that you did not marry. Also presenting yourself to a man with a child is another barrier to cross.
You know you are capable of "wrong thinking" and you are dealing with a very emotional question. Your mind is fogged up with your own wants and needs and desires that you have becomed Totally Indifferent to your own child's Wants and Needs! I believe this is called being Self-Centered and Selfish.
Kimberly, the same nagging doubt that you had before lying to us are nagging at you now -- why else would you even bring up the subject to us? If you were going to do it anyway....why bring it before us -- unless subconsiously you want a reason not to do it?
Please pray on this some more! Everyone here could not be wrong! Please Pray.
I have purposely stayed away from this topic for personal reasons.Now Im going to go ahead and put my two cents in.I hope you take this in the spirit its given,with love.
I have considered messaging you in the past for many reasons.
1.we are relatively close in age
2.we also live pretty close
3.your are extremely attractive
4.you are a christian(should have been number 1,but oh well)
However there has always been something stopping me from contacting you....now I understand Why!
Your attitude about this issue is,to put it bluntly,selfish...
Im sorry if this offends you,but I think you need to hear this
I do understand your deep desire for children,but sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the lord
perhaps god,knowing this is your deepest desire is testing you to see if you would sacrifice everything for him.
after all thats what he did for us.
maybe if you truly gave up this desire for christ
you would find yourself married and pregnant fairly soon!
or maybe not.
you cant force gods hand.If you do you may spend the rest of your life regretting it.
please dont think im judging you in any way,I have and still make poor decisions all the time,thats part of the growth process
but I beleive,deep down,you know this is not the right decision.
just because a person CAN do something doesnt mean they SHOULD.
I will pray for you,and I hope you dont go through with it.
also,it took incredible guts to adress this in a public forum,so I respect you very much
I thought it was yourself you were speaking about.I had a cousin who got married in her 40's and had one kid.Hey, I have sent you winks before you wrote this and a letter you never responded.I am a nice guy from Ohio.I to do not have any children.Yes,it bothers me.My X had 1 child of her own.
Write me and be a friend see what happens.Take a chance,
nobody is perfect.Yes,I am calling you out.Drop me a line.You really are cute.
I really did know it was you, I just knew,ok.Some things are too hard to hide.Dennis
dear kimberly, i was just gonna let this go with your apology.. yet since you came back and gave your reasons for , i feel i must give you the reasons not to.. its because i do love you sis.. not just to be comin down rough on ya..
you say the technonlgy is there so it cant be wrong.. more or less.. i say we have the technology to give women abortions also.. still dont make it right..
your words here
now so this is why I'm doing it this way. It's really all up to God. As I state before even after paying 500$ I only have 20 to 30% chance of getting pregnant. Very slim odds but with God all things are possible.
mine here
kimberly this is my belief, i dont think you realize it but you are taking GOD out of the equasion here.. GOD always has an order to things.. and we know so by the examples given to us in the bible.. and we know that man and woman come together and know one another , married, and then conception happens.. so its husband and wife and then comes the children..
and what you are speaking of is taking GOD out of the equasion and buyin a baby and leaving it up to men..
when you say its all up to GOD, and with GOD all things are possible..
thats very true unless what you are asking or seeking in prayer puts GOD against GOD.. HE will not go against HIMSELF and HIS WORD.. and if you forego husband first and then child , then thats what youre askin HIM to do and be a part of..
and HE wont do that.. so youll be on your own on this..
we all make bad choices at times.. we are allowed to.. most every man in the bible made a mistake in their lives.. and each one had to pay the consequences for their actions..
HES not gonna be right in there with us, helpin us along when we make them bad choices that go against HIM and HIS word..
yet HE will still be there with you, just not helping you.. and when the consequenses of our actions bring us to repentance and seeking forgiveness ,then HE S right there to help ..
so all in all HE will forgive you for going outside of HIS order to the family.. or anything else we may mess up on.. cept the blasphamy of the HOLY SPIRIT... just keep in mind that sometimes theres a high price to pay for the consequenses to our actions.
this reminds me so much of when sarai sent abram to hagar to concieve a child because she couldnt wait and was affraid she would never have a child.. cept remember sarai was married to abram..
now with that said, im gonna still love you and still be your friend..
