Dear Kimberly, this question to me has much depth and potential for so many different opinions depending on each individual. Good question! Should be interesting to see the responses.
Neither to marry or abstain from marriage seems easy at all to me... I personally hope eventually to find a great gal and marry some day if that is God's will. To marry is what I would prefer of the two. Abstinence goes against my grain but won't knock a person that it doesn't.
ps. I will abstain until that special woman comes along and asks for my hand in marriage though:ROFL::winksmile:
In my opinion anybody can marry (just look around) it's much harder to wait upon God's best before you marry. Why is it so hard to find a man totally sold out for God? I refuse to wait 39 years and settle for chopped liver when it comes to spiritual rating.
I believe any girl on here could be married right now if they settled but that's the exact reason we're on here we refuse to settle. We want what God is going to give us not what the devil is trying to tempt us with as a decoy. We're onto the devil's ways and are going to wait the Devil out.
I love true Christian men and don't have tolerance for men who prices
Sorry didn't get to finish my post above. Definitely for me much harder to abstain from marriage than settle. I'm very thankful that God has protected me from the wrong ones that Satan has placed in my path and some of these were men claiming to be Christians.
If the man doesn't have God's approval stamped on him regardless of if he's Mcdreamy then steer clear of him.
I'm patiently waiting for Jesus to send the man that he's reserved for me. I hope it's soon cuz the waiting part is always the hardest.
The Bible tells us in so many words not to "settle" when it says that marriage should not be entered into lightly. I really don't believe the women on this site are that "desperate" or willing to "settle". That is why they are here, for they too are not willing to settle for anyone less than someone sold out for the Lord.
Even on Christian sites you find many, many people that are not sold out for the Lord, or others that think they are a car cuz they sit in the garage....ooops, I mean they think they are a Christian because they sit in church on Sunday.
Sometimes I think the hardest thing the Lord asks us to do is to wait upon Him. Our God is known for His extreme patience with us, yet as children, we want everything we want RIGHT NOW!!!
I think the men on this site might agree that finding a truly Christian woman is not that easy either. You find many that express that love for the Lord, but don't want to stand obedient in the Word. Heard a sermon on that just today. Pastor John Hagee said the two ways you can tell a real Christians by two basic things: they do not lie, and stand obedient in the Word. He said that anyone that claims to be a Christian that does not tell the truth obviously didn't hear about their place in the lake of fire and don't want to stand obedient in the Word are people that do not want our God, for Our God is the one that made up the rules and He doesn't change. His plan is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, so if you don't like part of it now, its not going to get any better. I thought that was pretty awesome stuff.
I think waiting on the Lord is one of the toughest things we do, but its important to Trust Him, Kimberly, for I firmly believe, He will not let us down. He does have our best interests at heart. I think you are wise not to enter into marriage like its no big deal, for Cattle is right, and I see people plan all these ridiculous ceremonies that cost a fortune, and invest little after that day into their marriage.
I don't think there is anything at all easy about marriage, and I think it is really tough today because there are so many selfish people that want it to be all about them, and I think it should always be more about your spouse than about yourself, whether you are a man or a woman, for if BOTH people feel that way, the chances of having a good marriage are much higher than two selfish people that want what they want. That is really hard to come by anymore, really hard.
I would say the majority of the men I kick to the curb is because I catch them in lies. I won't settle either.
Ya know it didn't occur to me for some reason that someone would just settle and marry as Christians seeking God's will for a marriage partner here. Now I'm thinking I may have miss understood the whole question, so may I ask
:By Abstinence did you mean as in a priest or nun making a celibacy vow? Or do you mean it as waiting until married for the consummation?
If I could find the guy that God intends for me to marry, I know the decision to marry would be very easy...not that the marriage itself would be easy -- I'm not so oblivious that I think marriage doesn't take a LOT of hard work! But the decision to marry would be easy. I WANT to get married, and I have always felt that God intends for me to get married at some point to the one He has chosen for me.
Abstaining from marriage is also very easy until I find the guy that God has for me. I DO NOT want to settle for just anyone. I WILL NOT settle for just anyone. That is probably one of my worst nightmares...marrying someone just because I want to get married. I know girls who have done that, and it does not make for a happy marriage.
So in summary...both are easiest when it IS the right time. Both are hard when it is NOT the right time. Does that make any sense?!?!
In the the original post, LADYTHUMPER WROTE: "Is it easier to marry or abstain from marriage?"
The scripture reference on that is (from NKJV) 1 Cor 7:1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion....32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord�how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world�how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world�how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. --- COMMENTS --- Paul sort of touches upon ladythumper's question. But Paul focuses on what I'll call "central issues." Namely, since it *isn't easy* for some to remain celibate -- Paul recommends marriage for them. Paul also points out in vs. 33-35 that there may not be "ease" (to borrow from ladythumper) *for* the married in terms of "divided interests." Put another way; Paul let the Corinthians (and us) know that: Those who *need* to get married must keep in mind that *after they marry* they will no longer be able to fully devoted to the Lord. That is, not in the same sense of how celibates may be. I'll take myself as an example (of celibates). Being single with no wife or children, I'm "free" to serve the Lord --- without the cares and concerns that would come if were I married. Now *being married* would make me no "less" of a Christian! But it would limit what I, otherwise, would be "free to do" (for apparent reasons). Whichever "calling" God has for us, whether to marriage (eventually), or to permanent celibacy (to which I don't think I am, myself) is fine. We'll be just where God wants us to be, doing what He wants us to do. In the meantime, we're still celibates; some with children, some not, and the vast majority of us are probably *not* called to permanent celibacy (or we wouldn't be here)!
TARASYE (among other things) WROTE: "I think the men on this site might agree that finding a truly Christian woman is not that easy either."
This hasn't been difficult for me. I find it *hard* to understand why folks can't find the "truly Christian," whether online or in person! In terms of online, it may take a considerable amount of "added time" --- not only because of scammers, etc., but to find another believer who shares the same core beliefs (like on doctrinal particulars) --- and to find one who has essentially the same general outlook on life (compatibility considerations, etc.). W/r/t these things, I've posted this link several times and can't recommend it any more highly: "Compatibility Considerations Before Marriage" by Steve Gregg --- http://www.wvss.com/forumc/viewtopic.php?t=1666 --- Thanks!
Wish I could say that had been my experience, Rick, but unfortunately it has not been. Nor has it been that way for many of the people on this forum, who have given their heart to someone, only to find they have gotten involved with someone else. I consider this to be a lie. When people lead you to believe you have a relationship while they are secretly engaging in a relationship with someone else seems to be common. So are other lies, and we can usually tell when we are being lied to if we pay attention and don't try to talk ourselves out of it.
Lies are the biggest reason I have dumped relationships because if you cannot have trust and believe the person, then are they really a Christian, or just someone that wants to wear a label? Under the Broken Hearts thread, there are a lot of men that have had this experience as well. I would like to think that there are a great number of suitable people of both genders that "fit the bill" but realistically on another thread, someone pointed out the stats on the success of online relationships, and that was quite an eye opener.
I think perhaps you are a minority my friend or there would be a lot less single people on this forum, but that is simply my experience.
I'd say the majority of Christians -- (if not the *vast* majority) -- think about, and practice, "dating" no different than the world. No wonder hearts get broken! The truly *sad* thing to me is: they don't question what they're doing. It's as if..."dating", as it's usually done in our culture has God's (Automatic) Stamp of Approval --- which it *most certainly* does NOT! (imo). Thanks, ('didn't mean to go on a minor rant there. Wait. I take that back! Yes I did)! Have a good week!
