I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 3 Aug, 2024 09:51 PM
I am writing this for some serious advice. I want to know what I am doing wrong with my profile. I have nothing but people wanting a physical relationship with me, even if they don't explicitly say it. I have not captured anyone's interest for a long-term dating relationship. I know women who get matches left and right and go on dates and everything. I don't even get one guy to even ask me out to coffee!
In real life, I work among a lot of younger men so I never flirt with them but I notice all they do is stare at me when I don't notice, but I notice. Also, I tried being really friendly with a guy whom I thought liked me, but when I talk to him he ignores only me out of my entire work group. I am very likeable and people say I am pretty so I am absolutely dumbfounded at what it could be.
I need to know if it is my photo, profile, interests, etc. If anyone has any feedback, it would be really appreciated.
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 4 Aug, 2024 02:57 PM
The problem you're having likely has far less to do with what's written in your profile and almost everything to do with who you choose to message/date and what you say to them.
As always I'm going to be brutality honest with you. Most men aren't stupid and will put the women they meet in two boxes. One is for the women they see as only for the bedroom and the other is for marriage.
The box you fall in will partially depend on the men you choose to message/date. The men that are the most attractive to women will have a very high standard and few if any women will rate the marring kind to them. On the other hand the less desirable men will have lower standards.
How does a women become more attractive to the more desirable men? One way is to step down off the pedestal you have put yourself on because even an unattractive women will get inundated with attention from men and as you have seen for yourself they only want one thing from you. So attention from men is not a good indicator of your value to them.
If you understand that then you can begin the process to become more desirable to the right men by becoming a woman that men look for by removing as much of the feminist mindset and the associated expectations of men that come from it.
Men first and foremost are looking for a submissive feminine woman that respects his leadership, cooks, cleans, gives him peace and takes care of their children at home. The last thing a man wants to deal with is a masculine, troublesome woman.
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 4 Aug, 2024 04:21 PM
I would leave out the self-assessment of kind and intelligent and let a guy discover that himself.
Nothing wrong with your interests, but not every guy will like them. Perhaps someone will like half of them.
Interests are important in whom I choose to write when browsing. Anyone here who writes liking horror movies immediately earns my disinterest. I used to like shopping myself. But I am not big on shopping anymore, and I generally think that many women who write "shopping" as an interest probably throw away money on stupid stuff when money should be saved up for a better purpose. I think there are better ways to spend time than shopping. Nothing wrong with a little shopping. My sister likes gift wrapping, but I wouldn't write it as an interest. Organizing may attract some men and repel others, but I don't know that I would write it here. If you really want to interest more men, be more generous with the photos. Also, if you want interest more men of faith say more things of faith. If you want to interest men less into religion, say less about religion.
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 6 Aug, 2024 08:25 AM
Hi Elizabeth! You replied last year to my post about love being an adventure. I am a lot older than you are so my experience perhaps with men on this site has been a lot different than the attention men have been given you here.
In general, this is a Christian dating site. However, Christianity means different things to different people. From my experience, men that have a relationship with God and go to church, read their Bible, go to prayer groups etc, those are the ones that will treat you like a lady -- like Jesus would treat you.
But, in order to attract those men of substance, you yourself, would have to have a relationship with God. That's easy. See your need for God and realize what Jesus did for you on the cross -- that He died for your sins (lying, cheating, bitterness, hate, unforgiveness etc.) and He died to restore you to the relationship with God that was lost because (of sin). We live in a broken world with sickness, evil, strife, hate but when you invite Jesus (ask Him to come into your life to be your Lord and Savior) into your heart and start living for Him, you will have fellowship with God again (like Adam and Eve before the fall of mankind). Then, you can be certain that you have eternal life and will go to heaven some day or either at the end of your life or when Jesus comes again. The key here is to invite Jesus into your life and start living for Him. Then, you'll be interested in finding men that believe as you do and your profile will reflect that. BUT ...You will also attract men that also have that relationship with Christ. Real Christian men want to know about your relationship with God and how you are growing in that relationship. They aren't looking at you as a piece of meat to have a physical relationship with.
God is good and loves us so much. He wants us to have relationships otherwise we are isolated. But God desires for us to have wholesome, godly, and edifying relationships that give glory and honor to Him.
So, besides looking for Mr. Right, if I was you, I'd look to find out more about God and how He loves you and how He can transform your life by knowing Him.
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 9 Aug, 2024 04:23 PM
Writergirl, thank you for sharing the gospel! Seems the gospel is hardly shared even on a Christian site!
Sadly, many “Christians” don’t know what the gospel is because their church won’t explain it to them.
Jesus calls all people to repentance (oddly some preachers preach against repentance). But genuine repentance (turning from sin to God), is the only way to God.
Loving obedience to God is the true evidence of a changed heart. Not perfect obedience, (that’s why we daily confess our sin and lack of love for God), but our longing is to obey perfectly (we will never obey perfectly til glorification in our new body).
Titus 3:5-7 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit,
6 whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior,
7 that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 9 Aug, 2024 04:23 PM
Writergirl, thank you for sharing the gospel! Seems the gospel is hardly shared even on a Christian site!
Sadly, many “Christians” don’t know what the gospel is because their church won’t explain it to them.
Jesus calls all people to repentance (oddly some preachers preach against repentance). But genuine repentance (turning from sin to God), is the only way to God.
Loving obedience to God is the true evidence of a changed heart. Not perfect obedience, (that’s why we daily confess our sin and lack of love for God), but our longing is to obey perfectly (we will never obey perfectly til glorification in our new body).
Titus 3:5-7 not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit,
6 whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior,
7 that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 9 Aug, 2024 04:51 PM
Just for added clarity, especially with regard to grace and works:
Ephesians 2:8 For it is by 👉👉grace 👈👈you have been saved, through faith—and this is 👉👉not 👈👈from yourselves, it is the 👉👉gift👈👈 of God— 9 👉👉not by works👈👈, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are 👉God’s handiwork👈, created in Christ Jesus 👉👉to do good works, which God prepared👈👈 in advance for us to do.
I posted Ephesians because some people believe we can “believe in Jesus and just go on sinning”‼️‼️
Other people believe we must grind out good works to be saved‼️‼️
The truth is, we broken heartedly repent and humbly confess our sins and so receive God’s gracious gift of forgiveness as a result of Jesus’ death on the cross and his powerful resurrection. God then clothes us in the perfect righteous work of Jesus that he accomplished in perfect obedience to God throughout his earthly life and ministry.
As an expression of our imperfect love and gratitude, we longingly desire to love God fully and to obey him fully and perfectly. Yet, we understand our human limitations as we live out our lives in the flesh as our new nature wars against it (the old nature). We long for our glorification when sin will be no more
I need some serious advice on what is wrong with my profile
Posted : 6 Oct, 2024 12:43 PM
@HazelEyesSparkle, not sure if you have updated your profile since your initial post, but I have advise to share with you or anyone else. It may not seem fair that other females are getting asked out just know that you are set apart for a specific man. Do not compare yourself to other females. Pray about what to post on your profile. At times you may have to tweak it. Bless and block men whenever necessary. Stay true to your convictions. This is your path, your journey.
