Author	Thread: Trusting
rbj66 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 05:59 AM Trust issues i'm sure many have them and it has been posted somewhere. My ex absolutely refused to trust me because of her cheating dad and her mom's brainwashing. After years of unfounded (delusional even) accusations and arguments, i gave her what she wanted in a roundabout way as i was not walking with the LORD then. Not sexually, but i made it look that way as i knew it would hurt her. She wanted to be verbally abusive, i begged her to stop and get help because i didn't want to play head games. Nope. Bark bark bark. So i hurt her back in a way that i knew she couldn't forgive. She did at first but that's another story. I can imagine a couple of answers here to this 🙄, but ladies, how much nagging is too much? Can you admit if you did it? And men, how much do we acquiesce until we've said enough already? Am i to stay on the phone with her 24/7 to ease her mind? Of course not. We can only do so much. When the trust is gone so is the love. There is a whole lot more to this psychologically. It's okay to be a little jealous and we should be, but extremes need therapy. I refuse to continue to try to make someone happy who doesn't want to be. She was conceited, demanding, immature and insecure. Now i am not wholly in agreement with how a few believe women should submit 😬🤐, but it does come into play here. She does not rule the roost, we are a team. Controlling your husband can be weaponizing marriage, and it is explicitly warned against. It can go for the man too of course. "Husbands love your wives" ( only one of course 😉). I tried for 14 years. Who wants to love anyone who has to be heard (screaming like a little brat) but never listens? I stayed for a long time (too long) trying to be a good father figure to her son and a good husband but just was never good enough for her. Finally it came to a head. Where you at? Had this experience? Post Reply
Handyman62 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 09:22 AM Even though I was married for 28 years I can't relate to being married to someone who was that difficult. I had a couple of girlfriends that were a problem but still not to the level of what you describe. That doesn't mean myself and others can't learn from what you went through. One thing you said that really caught my attention was that you said that you tried to be a good father to HER son. So were you not the boy's bio dad? If not then that was a HUGE red flag. I think it's almost always a bad idea for a man to marry a woman who is divorced with or without children or with children born out of wedlock. They're almost always in that situation because of poor judgement on their part. It seems that women rarely learn from their mistakes, at least not what they should be learning which sadly means most are destined to repeat them. Society has been teaching women for years that it's men who are the problem and not them so blaming men is typically their go to excuse. Post Reply
rbj66 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 10:35 AM I see what you mean about a flag, but everyone makes a poor decision. It's what we do after Post Reply
Moonlight7 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 01:24 PM I found no need to nag my ex huge was a good man and I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't. Couples have all kinds of problems. I'm not here to aire mine. I had one problem excepting the separation but I realized what had happened. We had a legally desperation first not just a divorce. Then I learn to move on . Too many People live in the past . I'm happy to say I'm dating and have had serval Nice Men to date with every since. When I'm seeking a Man. I don't depend on this site ! :⁠-⁠) Post Reply
Moonlight7 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 01:40 PM " Mr ex husband" we didn't argue.. Edited He remarried after few yrs and they divorced shortly after. I have had 3 proposals since my divorce. I'm not desperate for any Marriage especially off the Internet. Post Reply
rbj66 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 02:30 PM Imagine that, he divorced not long after. 🙄 Post Reply
rbj66 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 02:33 PM Handyman, after reading it again, everyone screws up, not just women. LORD knows i have and still do. I wasn't walking with JESUS then and even with him i still follow my own heart and not His. That's human nature, not gender based Post Reply
Moonlight7 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 02:44 PM I'm happy to say I would not want any man in a dating site that keeps Degrading Women. Post Reply
Handyman62 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 19 May, 2024 04:10 PM Of course men and women have problems and cause problems, but it's women who are now causing most of them especially when it comes to divorce and the destruction of the family. It sounds like you're blaming all your marriage ills on you not walking in the Lord but I don't buy that though unless you weren't being honest about what your wife was doing. So were you honest or not? Post Reply
Moonlight7 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 20 May, 2024 04:26 AM I have a family member in his "mid forties", handsome young man, was divorced, just married a attractive woman who has two school age children by her previous relationship. Some men do well in marriages with step children. Post Reply
Handyman62 View Profile History	Trusting Posted : 20 May, 2024 06:13 AM Moonbeam you love to make up stories and this is probably another one. But even so there are couples that commit adultery under the guise of being remarried that get along with each other. But you likely wouldn't know how well their doing because you don't know what's actually going on behind closed doors. Post Reply

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