For those of us who are single and dating or wanting to date or possibly engaged, there is a very important question we have to consider. Are we "equally Yoked" with the person we are dating or engaged to? The scriptures are actually very clear on this issue and we must truly submit to the will of God in this or else we are actually in disobedience to God Himself. If we are in disobedience to God, will He bless us? Not at all! Here is a passage that deals with this.
2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
First off I want you to see that we are not to be yoked together with an UNbeliever. What is an Unbeliever? It is a person who is not truly Born Again. A person who is not saved. Many people can "claim" they are a believer and say they believe in God but that doesn't make them a true believer. A true believer is someone who has had a true conversion in their heart and a change from their former life. It is someone who has accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and has been Baptized by full immersion in water. Acts 2:38; John 3:3-5, Mark 16:16.
Notice in the verse above how Paul contrasts a believer who is righteous and is of light as opposed to the unbeliever who is unrighteous and is of darkness. So you see, it doesn't really matter how nice a person they may be or treat you. The bottom line is that if they are an unbeliever then they are still unrighteous and of darkness. But look below in the following verse where Paul uses even stronger language.
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Paul quoted Ezekiel 37:26-27 which is a passage concerning a prophesy when God will rejoin the house of Israel and the house of Judah and make them one house again, one people and He will separate them from the Heathen. He will make a new Covenant with them. The point to this for us is that God wants us to be separate from pagans, heathens, the unsaved in the sense of marital relationships which would include dating obviously. While we have the responsibility to share the Gospel with all people otherwise how can they be saved apart from hearing the Word, we must not intermarry with them.
17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. KJV
God commands us to be separate from the unbelievers. Not isolationists mind you but separate with regards to marital relations.
I know there are many who think they can get a person saved while dating them. Though that would be great, it is a rare case for that to truly occur. Eventually, if you do marry an unbeliever, your walk with Christ will suffer. Your unbelieving spouse will hurt your spiritual walk. Remember that an unbeliever is NOT a child of God. Eventually, if you are truly putting the Lord first in your life and serving Him daily, your spouse will become jealous and your relationship will suffer and he or she may eventually leave you unless you compromise your devotion to God. How can you walk together unless you are both on the same path? It just cannot work and anyone who believes otherwise is only fooling themselves. How can an unbeliever truly respect Christ's commandments when they do not have a relationship with Him? How can they follow someone with whom they have not placed their total trust and faith in? How can they truly love someone with whom they do not really know? How can you expect someone to honor and respect your marriage vows when they do not love, respect, fear and trust in God and Christ who binds the marriage?
It doesn't matter how good looking they are or how well they treat you or how wealthy they are, for if that is what is motivating you then you have already compromised the integrity of your faith. Seek for those things that are eternal. Now especially for you ladies, the man you should marry is someone who is a spiritual leader. Someone who places God and Christ first in his life even above you and his family. If he is not of that caliber then he is not right for you. The question you have to ask yourselves is this. "Are you going to obey God and do HIS will or are you going to be disobedient to Him?
Concerning Paul's Epistles. 1Co 14:37 If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.
John 14: 21 "He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."
22 Judas (not Iscariot) said to Him, "Lord, how is it that You will manifest Yourself to us, and not to the world?"
23 Jesus answered and said to him, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.
24 "He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father�s who sent Me. NKJV
there is also a book that i have, it's wonderful, called And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh. in it, she talks a little bit about dating somebody who believes in the same things as you do...
i have so many friends who date non christians because they think that they can change them and make them a better person, they say things like, "i'm their only good influence in their life" etc.
Here's something for those girls, from the book I mentioned, I think it relates to this topic that you posted and felt I should add it on. :) and this goes for guys too i suppose, lol.
"Isn't a relationship with a non-Christian guy a great chance to witness to him?
Yes, it is.
One of my best friends from high school. Bethany, was a hot item in our dating years. She was smart and outgoing, she had the most beautiful skin and the perkiest nose, and her eyes always sparkled when she talked.
She drove the guys bananas!
I once casually introduced her to a friend, and equally pursued by a great number of girls, but Bethany's line had been drawn. Each night that he called to again beg her for a date, she was blunt about it, "Doug, I think you're a great guy, but I need to tell you that I cannot date someone who does not believe what I believe about God." This turned into long inquiries from him about God.
Bethany still believes those were his ploys to get her to stay on the phone with him, but she took it as a chance to read him Scripture, pray over him, and blow his mind with the truth of God.
But Bethany never, never dated Doug... not once.
She had her vision for the man she would marry, and it included a godly leader who would challenge, stimulate, and protect her spiritually for the rest of her spiritual life. And she got it when she found Jeff, a great big strapping, godly man who all but worships her.
I wonder if she would have gotten what she wanted if she hadn't stuck to her dream in every dating opportunity."
