Hello everyone, Im a divorce woman that was saved almost 6 years ago (after divorce) during almost 5 years I keep my self sexually pure and try to avoid male friends. I knew I was not ready for a relationship back then. But God has toldme that now Im ready.
I almost forgot how to a approch a man. I work in my own bussiness (arts and crafts gallery) in a shopping center, there there is a man that really makes me shake my heart. I have found that he is divorce aswell, he comes from the same city I come from and guess what? His mother is Christian which it means that He probably is.
Im so scare about aproching him. I don�t know what is God�s plans, He seems to be most of the time in his store in the internet. Maybe he already found some one, Im worry because eventhough I know the value I have in front of God�s eyes I have doubts he may feel atractive to me, since every body in my familly tellsme that first I must loss weight.
Its too sad that men look for physical weight as a priority even to contact you.
I was diagnost with a sicknes wich most be treated with medicines among thus is litio and others that made me gaing weight. I can not explain this to every person I know.
I feel bad and worry I don�t know what to do or to thing, some suggestions...please
He currently is not yours, he is not in your hands.
The possiblity/anticipation of the chance he could be *the one* for you is causing you to hesitate.
Right now you only have to deal with doubt or uncertainty, and if you approach him, and he rejects you, you would have to handle that instead.
Here's a piece of advice. You cannot get over uncertainty or doubt unless you *go for it*. and it will continue to haunt you.
But rejection, though initially hard, will eventually heal. Because it's much better to KNOW then to WONDER.
In my experience, and mind you I am very bold and up front, I would rather just KNOW then sit there and pine away after someone from a distance.
Insert all the christian jazz in here, yada yada, pray about it, etc, but the most practical thing I can tell you to do is just carefully plan a way to make your feelings known, and as ole said, put yourself out there.
And if it doesnt work out, we will all be here to pray for you and help you walk through it. But remember this, don't look at this as a negative thing in your life, *oh i just dont know if he likes me and it bums me out man!* Look at it like *WOW! Here's an opportunity that I just dont want to miss! and if it doesnt work out! at least i know now and can move on and I have learned something from all this!* BE possitive darlin, life is grand!
This I really just have to say because it�s burning inside me passionately� before I go into my spiel I should say this� I grew up hearing from my mom and sister who are natural �twinges� that nobody will love me if I�m fat. Consequently, I was a prisoner of an eating disorder for almost 20 years�. Praise is unto Jesus I am delivered and have been for 15 years--- but your family is wrong just as mine was no matter what their intentions are� I believe mine had good intentions just not a lot of common sense�. Now that I am almost 40, I have to come to the understanding that it is all about what people like� and sometimes I get amazed at what other people like� I see skinny, skinny men married to very, very voluptuous women and they love them� or the other way around� or I will see what would not be �good looking� in my eyes married to an extremely gorgeous woman and again the other way around� a really hot man with what I think is a homely looking woman� then there is always the third case� I have what I prefer� and what is funny is my ex-husband is not even close to what I physically prefer in a man� but he won me over anyway� my whole point to all of this is don�t limit yourself because of your own head� find out from that person directly� you might be surprised�
FIRSTLY, I AM SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE SICKNESS THAT YOU WERE DIAGNOSED WITH. MY SISTER, AS YOU KNOW, WE SERVE AN AMAZING GOD. A GOD THAT TURNED WATER TO WINE, A GOD THAT HEALED THE SICK AND OF COURSE, RAISED THE DEAD. I BELIEVE IN FAITH AND I�M SURE YOU DO TO, MAY THE SICKNESS YOU CARRY TODAY, VANISH AT A TIME YOU LEAST EXPECT, IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME, AMEN.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I AGREE WITH THE MAJORITY OF THE COMMENTS BEFORE ME, HOWEVER, I HAVE A LITTLLE TO SAY ABOUT ONE OF YOUR STATEMENTS WHICH I QUOTED BELOW.
IN YOUR POST YOU STATED THAT, �Its too sad that men look for physical weight as a priority even to contact you.�
I�M GUESSING THAT YOU WERE REFERRING TO MEN THAT YOU HAVE PERSONALLY MET OR MAYBE YOUR STATEMENT WAS NOT SET OUT TO APPEAR TO GENERALISE MEN, LOL.
IF YOUR STATEMENT WAS MADE TO GENERALISE MEN, I DONT WANNA SOUND RUDE OR NOTHING BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE, YOU HAVE NOT MET ALL MEN AND NOT ALL MEN SEE PHYSICAL WEIGHT AS A PRIORITY. ALSO, THERE ARE SOME WOMEN THAT I HAVE PERSONALLY MET, WHO BEHAVE IN THE NATURE OF YOUR STATEMENT. SO THERE ARE, SOME WOMEN AND SOME MEN WHO BEHAVE IN THIS WAY AND OF COURSE, THERE ARE SOME, FROM BOTH GENDERS, WHO LOOK BEYOND THIS. SO I GUESS I�M TRYING TO SAY THAT MEMBERS OF BOTH GENDERS ARE AT FAULT, LOL.
IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY PRAYED AND IF YOU DONT ALREADY BELIEVE THIS, I THINK YOU NEED TO PRAY AND START BELIEVEING IN FAITH THAT YOU WILL MEET A MAN THAT DOES NOT LOOK, �for physical weight as a priority even to contact you.�
I HOPE THAT ALL WILL GO WELL, BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS, REMEMBER, YOU HAVE THE BEST FATHER THAT ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE, WHO WILL GIVE YOU COMFORT AND THE BIGGEST OF CUDDLES YOU COULD IMAGINE.
You said his mother is Christian which means he is probably also.
Please be careful with this assumption. I hate to say it , but if he is not a believer ( knowing your faith is important to you) he may play you as far as it will take him.
You should have some certainty on this first. I'd hate you to move too quickly - only to be hurt later on.
I agree with 'm" ... Honestly, I have been pretty reserved much of my life, but when I would see a guy I liked in my workplace. I would normally try and make conversation and find out his interests. But let me tell you... just because his mother is Christian does "NOT" I mean does "NOT" mean he is christian as well. I have made this mistake too many times, thinking that the guy would come around God just because he grew up in a Christian home. Why don't you just ask him if he is Christian as well and stop assuming he is.
loosing weight first, like your family says is not necessarily the right answer. I personally gained weight over a 2 year period because of my stress at school and such, but I really did see it pretty much impossible to go back to my normal weight. I told God that I wanted someone that loved me for who I was inside and not for what I looked like, and I still do.
But I also wanted to feel better for myself and care for my body, so I prayed and asked God to help me loose weight. I bought a book and I educated myself on eating right and exercised. With Gods help I lost 25 lbs. and still working out to reach my ultimate goal. Learn to be happy with who you are and love yourself. Even if you have an illness God can help you.
Unfortanetly- most guys do want that physical attraction, and honestly - I think us as women also want to feel somehow attracted physicially as well. but I pray that the one God has for me loves me for who I am inside more than what I look like. (not like I am all that great looking outside, but I am a beautiful person inside)
Thankyou very much to everybody for their beautiful and wise comments.
I almost forgot about it.
I introduce my self to the mother then to him. Now the mother does not stop talking every time I walk close to her. I found out that man has an unbeliever girlfriend and the mother is very happy about it.
Anyways, I feel very good because I did my part and I have not regrets.
About the weight, actually Im not worry that much, I realize the day I wrote that I was kind of sad I guess. But thanks God now Im ok.
Besides, guess what?...I don�t understant but Im lossing weigth very fast, Im not doing any thing different,...I spoke with my doctor and He say that I have improve alot, so He decrease the medication (one of the causes that mademe gaing weight)...So Im very happy and grateful with God and thankyou for thus of you who pray for me.
Im single and Im THe Happiest. Im in LOVE with JesusChrist.
