Author	Thread: Is Long Distance realistic...??
Admin	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 07:47 AM okay so... i'm pretty young, i'll go 'head an say that, so i'm definitely not desperate or frantically lookin, but, for whatever reason, i've always kinda preferred the online dating thing? i dont know.. part of me feels like that's cuz i just meet a lot of quality people online and that's why, but i can't help thinking that sometimes i'm just scared of it becoming real. ('it' as in a relationship) and with a REAL person, that you can talk to in person and hang out with in person... idk, i guess the only option left is commitment in that scenario. and not that i'm like one of those 'commitment' people... bc i'm very loyal, it's just that maybe i dont wanna even get close to commitment unless it's with the right one. like, undoubtedly. so all that to say...is anyone else ever scared out of their mind when they meet incredible people online? good-scared lol not like, stalker scared ha. but like.. let's say you meet this grrrreaat person. Everything you're lookin for. but they live a gazillion miles away. i mean, then what ? like logically... they've got allll their family in their own city, a good job there, lifelong friends,... just a whole dang history. and you've got the same where YOU live. and maybe you make plans to meet er whatever, ... but still, like what happens next? you meet, things're great, they go home, MAYBE get to come see you a couple'a other times, but... is that really realistic? are they just gonna suddenly decide one day that they're gonna just put their whole life on hold to come live where yall can be closer? i definitely understand that things like that DO happen, AND work out, but most of those are of course marriage situations. and i'm not quite to that point in my life yet. but as far as dating goes... IS it really possible..?? i dont see how anything can move forward towards anything substantial in a case like that. i feel like it's all just a waste of time in a way. I am definitely 100% FOR God workin things out, cuz i KNOW He will if it's meant to happen. and anything on here must be centered around trust in Him and a lotta lotta faith or it won't work anyway. and there's really no 'but' that i can insert here cuz, like i said, if God's gonna take care of it, He's gonna take care of it. I guess this is just how i'm feeling right now and i just thought i'd post it to see if anyone else is goin through this; maybe we can all help each other with it :D cuz it 'shore is tough lol. oh and by the way... i would looove to hear from anyone, but if you wanna give advice about just praying about it and stuff, i reeeally do know that lol :)), and that's somethin i really needta concentrate on, but i mostly just want this forum to be about different peoples' experiences and stories yknow :glow: and yes i do also realize that i'm too young to be worryin about it anyway but i am and i do so... yea lol. sowwy. :goofball: Post Reply
View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 11:21 AM dear drizz, welcome to the forums.. id say if youre just lookin to date and are not lookin for marriage.. then long distance prolly aint such a good idea.. now if someones seeking marriage then yea itd be worth all the expence and time spent apart knowin that marriage is waiting for you both if you continue to fall in love and the relationship grows. i can only speak for myself but id not do long distance just for dating... matter of fact i wouldnt do the short distance just for dating.. i mean im old and lookin for summin serious and committed and marriage is the goal.. to the right woman.. and if she aint open to that then id not waste my time or hers.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 11:50 AM yea that definitely makes sense : ) i guess it's just tough cuz once you've already kinda invested in someone over the internet, it would be really hard to let that friendship just kinda die away, whether it's realistic er not yknow? if you ever start to have feelings.. well it just kinda stinks lol. and good luck to you! Post Reply
View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 12:07 PM I agree with Ole.. if you just want casual dating distance seems pointless but of you are looking for marriage and are willing to move if the right one comes along.. distance can be worked out IF its what you both want.. GBU Bethany Post Reply
View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 12:28 PM dear dizz, i do understand ya... and youre right it does stink when you loose someone you have started havin feelins for.. if youre not ready for marriage then definitely dont rush yourself.. wait till you are ready.. cause youre a young woman and youre prolly still tryin to figure out who and what kind of a man you want to be with.. and remember the rest of your life is a long time to be with someone.. so choose wisely.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 06:49 PM I believe as others have already confirmed that unless there is the knowledge between both individuals in the relationship that marriage is the ultimate goal then it would be hard to keep that long distance relationship going. I would find it hard to be anything other than friendship unless each person knew they were meant for each other, knew each others characteristics, and had plans for marriage in the future. I don�t see how even dating long distance would work out, simply because usually dating is known as seeing if that person is right for you, whereas being in a relationship is more of developing a strong friendship, emotional, and spiritual connection, that ultimately culminates and is completed with marriage. Especially being my age, since I�m not even in my 20�s yet. All individuals, especially in the late teens early 20�s range are still trying to identify who they are and develop their own lives. This can be made very complicated and complex when they try and figure out what type of person fits their characteristics and lifestyle. I mean in all honesty, I would find it hard to pinpoint what is my specific �type� because my life is still in the developmental stages. I�m in school, getting an education for a stable career, and get on my feet, to one day be independent, and learning about life all at the same time. There is a lot going in my life, not to mention maintaining a relationship with God. I find it hard to find a place for anyone other than my own priorities at this point in time. Not to mention, how do I know my priorities won�t change when I graduate from college. I might have different preferences once my career kicks off, or god may even lead me to pursue something I have no knowledge of yet. How would a relationship fit into all these different aspects of my life? I would seriously be leading someone on to believe or think I am someone or something that I am not. I encourage all individuals to identify who they are, as well as identify who they are in Christ and what is God�s calling on their life. For them to find a stable, static, way of living, and where they are comfortable to have a relationship and make it work. Too often, I have seen many gifted individuals throwing away great opportunities for a relationship that didn�t work out in the long run. In the end, it comes down to what is important in your life, and where God is leading you. I believe unless a person is fully dedicated to a relationship and doesn�t have anything in their lives that can interfere with the progress of the relationship, then that is when the relationship can truly be successful. Without a full commitment and realizing that compromise/sacrifices must be made in order for a relationship to be successful, then it is destined to fail. I can honestly say that in my current academic pursuits, financial obligations, and family commitments I cannot seek anything other than to develop a friendship. For me to hope or ask for anything more at this moment would be foolish on my part, not to mention setting unrealistic expectations for the other individual. I use this site basically to meet people, develop friendships, and hopefully in the future, by the grace of god, one of those friendships will develop into a relationship the will one day lead to marriage that is blessed by God. Obviously, everyone on this site is seeking an individual to love and to spend the rest of their life with. We all want that person that we can share our deepest desires, dreams, hopes, memories, and the rest of our lives with or we wouldn�t be on this site. Let us all seek God, and rely on his understanding instead of our own. Our understanding is definitely not his understanding. Let us rely on him while actively seeking out people who fit our characteristics and who he (God) ultimately wants us to be with. All things happen in good time, and he surely answers the prayers of those that diligently and faithfully seek him. Never give up the faith or grow impatient with the Lord, for he knows what is best for our lives. I hope this gives this information helps in some way. In all things, God bless. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 08:05 PM I know how you feel, drizz...for me it'd depend on how much I couldn't live without the person...and vice-versa. I don't know about anyone else...but for me to seriously consider someone online...I try and stick within 4 hours of where I live. Just because it's a pretty large thing to move across a country...leave everything that's familiar behind. It's a lot to ask of either party. But like I said, if I found someone I couldn't live without, or if God sent a Dove of Light down and anointed them with Holy Poo(okok...God wouldn't do that...or would He?)...then I wouldn't have any problems. I just would need to know FOR SURE that it was who I was supposed to be with. So in other words...I'm not "looking" for it...but I do talk to people from pretty much everywhere...so if it happens...it happens. I'd just need to know its where I'm supposed to be, and who I'm supposed to be with. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 07:58 AM yea yall're all very right. it's just one of those things yknow lol. dangit. haha. oh and DontHitTHatMark lol... love the poo thing haha. might be a little messy but hey, a lotttt easier than sittin around tryna figure it out lol. anyone have any long-distance online stories..?? : )) Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 7 Aug, 2009 01:22 PM brutha, that was a smokin reply. great advice. Post Reply
Dayna389 View Profile History	Is Long Distance realistic...?? Posted : 28 Aug, 2009 10:56 AM I can't say for myself cause i never had a long distance relationship, but i watched my sister go through 2 long distance online relationships. ( i got her permission to share). and both times it didn't work. the first relationship went strong for almost 3 years. she went to see him (in Missouri) and as soon as she got back, things just started going bad, this was about a year ago. She tried again this summer and this time he came here(from Texas to Oregon) for about a month. But again it didnt work. And she met him on this site. What i have learned, is that you won't really know until you actually meet the person. But it could work for some people. thats how my parents met. She lived in Alaska and he lived in Oregon. I agree with "DontHitThatMark" though. If it is meant to be it will happen. I know God has someone for me and everyone else. so it doesnt matter how, where or when you meet him or her. Post Reply