This is a blog I posted this evening. As you read this, keep in mind I usualy station God at the center of my prose, but in this effort, I am focusing more on man and muse. God already knows his place in my life, and hers, and rests ashured of my affections. Read between the lines, I just draw from my knowledge of lore and legend at times to enhance the story with charm.
So here it is.
To Begin with, What, exactly is a Muse?
The Muses (Ancient Greek αἱ μοῦσαι, hai moũsai [1]: perhaps from the Proto-Indo-European root *men- "think"[2]) in Greek mythology, poetry, and literature are the goddesses or spirits who inspire the creation of literature and the arts.
K got it now? Certain people at certain times in my life have just dropped out of no where on me and I find myself unable to do much other then write, write, sing, play, write, etc. They draw the very marrow from my bones, the emotions from my heart and the life from my soul and I can pen it.
This is inspired by several people but written for only one. It's up to you to decide who it is. I have nothing to say.
This is not *about* a muse, it's things I am inspired to write. Enough, read on. It'll get hardcore at the end, no worries.
The lightning bugs whirl around while my kids reach eagerly to catch them and hold them. Their tiny tail lights set fire to their own little piece of night. This is where life begins, fire and light in the hands of a child so sweet and dear. We loose that, you and I, as we grow older. We loose the wonder and awe of the simple things that used to captivate us against all logic. What's so incredible, little child, about a single dandelion in the yard? Daddy doesn't want them there, they are weeds! "But daddy look, come down here, If I rub it on your nose, and your nose turns yellow, it means you like butter daddy! But everyone's nose turns yellow daddy, because we ALL eat butter!"
Children often crowd my mind and unearth such joy within me that I can't imagine anything other then being their father. (Right now I see lighting in the sky from a distance, growing closer, perhaps another storm will come and I can take my kids out for some rain dancing this evening!)
I have to play all the roles to them right now. I am daddy, and mommy. I have to provide, and to care for them in every way. I am alone, and I have no help. That makes me sad at times, not that I need help, but that they lack a *mommy* in the home. There's just a large gap that I am not properly equipped to fill.
So where is this woman? This muse? This gal who just flat out puts me on my face, she floors me, her voice is the softest, most angelic music, in my ear, even piercing my heart.
Where is the lady who makes me want to break all the rules and rush around, with heart pounding, to live life completely captivated by her charm, beauty, and love?
I know what she does to me. I've felt the rush of chemistry unlike anything I have ever felt before. I am not desperate for this woman, my muse. I will wait for her, as needs be, but I am not a desperate man. She must come to me, my muse, they way they do... out of nowhere... unexpected, unannounced... I can point to her, try to show her to other people and wow, she has disappeared! Will she finally settle at my side and hold my hand while complete havoc is wrought in my soul, and find myself strung out with endless prose! The fire in her eyes torments me. How can one posses such fire! You cannot posses a muse. They belong to the Gods, to the mysteries of life, and lastly, to their own inclinations and desires. (the thunder is picking up outside, this is good timing)
One of the things I like the most about my Muse is that she is not impressed by me. She appreciates me, but she is not enthralled. She drills me, and digs deep into my life until she finds difficult answers, then she handles them with care and caution. My muse knows her game.
What would life be like for my muse, were she to settle at my side? Things may slow down a bit for her, She dashes too and fro, and I enjoy the wonders she is busy dancing around. I know I would entertain her, for she brings forth the entertainer in me. And darn right, can I sing and play and write and make her laugh. My muse is fairy dust to me. I crave it.
I would dance with her, in the starlight, and hold her while I sing her a song, the song forming in the darkest night of the greatest day of my life. The shadows would move along the ground around us, created by the light of the moon. She would twirl around with me with laughter on her lips as she finds joy in the creative powers she has brought out in me. I would light a single candle in a storm and sit entranced watching the flames light caress her features and reflect the fire in her soul. I would make use of her, my muse, in every way, to create things of beauty to share with the world around us, and she would smile.
Life would definitely not be boring. We would walk, and talk and sing silly songs. We would play with the children and smile at their miniature faces when they laugh. We would hold each other, and share such passion that even the air around us would reverberate with the rapture of each kiss. We would eat great things, see the wonders of the world, even in the smallest things, around us. There would be boundless love, limitless understanding, and such peace that the stars themselves would sing. (I seem to have written about that not to long ago...)
I fancy myself a fairly nice guy. But I can be a fool, a clown, a very sarcastic person at times, in humor. I am cynical, I am not easily charmed. I am not to be owned. I am not to be told what to do. I am to be won, and asked. For the most part, we're you not to tell me not to do a *bad thing* it would not even have occurred to me to do so. I am the match for my muse. What she brings out in me, is beauty, and love, and a multitude of good things. But she knows I am not her toy, her plaything, I am not under her. I reside along side of her. Yes, I will treat her with respect. I will honor and cherish her, but I know my role, and I am man, not muse. We are linked, my muse and I, by the most common of decencies, a lack of pride, but it will be a fight to the death at times to see who will set the chess pieces on the table. There are games to play. We are a match. Winners we will always be though, for we play together and rejoice in one another's company. The winner gets a kiss, and the looser wins one also.
Such tawdry things, are the lost and desperate souls that so easily encompass us. They would drag us into their insubstantial existences and fill us full of mud. There are many more hurt and broken things out there, laying about in misery, waiting for their prince charming, or their princess. Healing is not found without, it's found within. Desperation draws the wrong people at the wrong time, loneliness makes us lay quick claim to them.
I, am not desperate, nor am I lonely. I know exactly what I want, and what I want to be for the person who I want to be with. I am in no way obsessed either. I can handle the distance between myself and my muse. She will land when she knows it is right. I do not implore, I do not chase her. I will not LOWER myself to crawling and begging. My muse wants a real man, not a darn puppy. I am to be her lover, not her slave, I am to be her friend, not her sycophant. She needs to be as much of a fan of who I am and what I do, as I am appreciative of the inspiration she plants right freaking dead center in my heart.
My muse is life, love, laughter, song, dance, and everything else good in life. She will mother my children. She will catch lightning bugs with them, and be just as amazed at they are. I will watch, and laugh, and learn about loving her more, every single day that God let's her rest in my arms. (The thunder is pounding outside, and I am gripped with desire to hear her voice) I just took all the kids outside to run around in the rain.
What an amazing gift of words you have! So many times when people write long posts, I tend to skim and scan, but I could not stop reading till the end, every word. Writing can be so therapeutic, can't it? I truly felt your heart in each word. I pray that you one day find your muse! Until that time (and always), just keep your mind on Christ, and allow Him to use you and your awesome talent for His Glory!
That was better than any fairy tail in a book or a movie... You are a very passionate man.. Your muse is worth waiting for my friend....And i too will someday find my muse....
