HERE'S 9 CRAZY THINGS A NARCISSIST DOES AND ALWAYS WiLL DO....going to keep watching this movie? :
1. Circular conversations
You’ll think you worked something out, only to begin discussing it again in the next conversation. And it’s as if you never even said a word the first time around, or the 10th time around. The narcissist has lots of complaints about you, while ignoring any legitimate arguments you may have provided, time and again.
At the end of the conversation, nothing will be resolved. The same issues will come up over and over again—why are they friendly with their ex.... again? Why are they suddenly distant? Why do they seem so eager to get out of your presence? And every time you bring up these issues, it’s as if you never even had the argument in the past. You get sucked back in, only to feel crazy & high-maintenance, then they decide “I’m sick of always arguing about this.” It’s a merry-go-round.
2. Bringing up your past wrongdoings & ignoring their own
If you point out something the narcissist is doing—like ignoring you, not listening to what you say, being distant, or issues with their ex—rather than discussing the issues you ask them to resolve, they’ll mention something from the past that you’ve done wrong. Did you once upon a time do something wrong? Well then, what they're doing isn’t really all that bad compared to what you did years ago. Did you do X two years ago? Well then, you can’t complain about what they're doing now. And God forbid you bring up any of their wrongdoings. Then, you are an abusive lunatic with a list of grievances that have no basis. In this way, the problem you bring up, however simple, never gets solved.
3. Condescending & patronizing tone
The entire conversation will have the basis that you're obviously unreasonable, obsessed, or crazy, and they are entirely reasonable and a victim. It’s almost like they are examining you, because you realize that they aren't listening, just waiting you out.
When you finally react emotionally, that’s when the narcissist will tell you to calm down, and tell you their feelings are hurt or you are abusive. The whole point of this behavior is to depict you as unhinged, and therefore give them the upper hand. Because remember, conversations are competitions to be won, not problems to be resolved.
4. Accusing you of doing things that they are themselves doing
This will put you on the defensive, especially in heated arguments. You are trying to save the marriage or relationship, asking for changes, and to be heard, but they will begin labeling you with their own faults...so if they are negative and critical of you, they say you are like that.
The narcissist will depict you as a horrible person, but they will at times accuse you of this in an indirect way. This will frustrate you and of course, you will react negatively, proving their point as far as they are concerned. By diverting the conversation into your numerous and onerous faults, they never discuss the real problems in the marriage. This is called PROJECTION by therapists.
5. This is true, but wait, then THIS is true
If you angrily pull out of the conversation because it goes round and round, the narcissist will start insulting the things they once said they liked about you...you become a terrible person now. You’ll be left wondering who you’re even talking to, because a positive thing is said at one time, then a demeaning and insulting comment later. They love you and they despise you, they think you are a good person, then a very bad person. There is no stability in their view of you. They leave you feeling totally unloved even while saying they love you.
6. Play the victim
Somehow the narcissist's problems and their confusing behavior that's inconsistent with a marriage or relationship will always lead back to a conversation about their abusive past, and then they compare you to their former abuser, even if the former abuser ex IS the problem causing the confusion. The idea is for you to end up feeling bad for them, even when they've done something wrong.
Then after doing this, they will seek an opportunity to bond with you over their supposed complex feelings. And once they have successfully averted your attention elsewhere by acting as if they have changed, they will soon become distant and things go back to the way they were.... no bonding or deep spiritual connection whatsoever. They are the ones saying “abuse” while being abusive—and, in the end, you are left feeling nothing but empty.
7. You begin explaining basic human emotions and actions
You find yourself explaining things like “empathy” and “feelings” and “being nice”, what is a “bad person” and what is a “good person”, what are bad motives and what are good motives, what is OK for a person to do in a certain circumstance, and what is not OK, or you explain that a person has obviously bad intentions, which the N says has good intentions, then says the opposite later, and then claims they never said anything else.
Most adults do not need to be taught the golden rules from kindergarten. You do this because you have attempted to see the good in them. You think to yourself, “if they can just understand why I’m hurt, then they’ll stop doing it.” But they won’t. In the first place, they wouldn’t have done all the hurtful things they have done if hurting you was their primary concern.
The worst part is when they have this fake sweet, caring persona. They know how to be kind & good when it suits them, but they will hurt you again and again, and then you realize that your happiness is not nearly as important to them as you once imagined, because they are more than willing to hurt you if necessary for what is a “higher good” in their mind....and they really believe they are doing the right thing while doing this, and your pain is irrelevant. The marriage is sacrificed to the “greater good”, or to what they want to do, no matter how hurtful it is to you.
8. Excuses
Everyone messes up every now and then, but narcissists give flimsy excuses rather than actually following through with promises. When their actions don't match up with their words, they shrug and say they weren't really thinking about it. You'd be humiliated if you broke a promise, but they are emotionless and it simply isn't a serious problem to them, even when you point out that they are destroying the all trust in your marriage and that the marriage can't survive without trust.
They know that, but it's irrelevant, whereas once, it was extremely important to them...but that's long gone. You are disappointed so frequently that you can't feel relieved when they do something decent—they condition you to expect to be disappointed again and again, and you are. All happiness is temporary, and just a short reprieve before another inflicted hurt.
9. “What in the world just happened?”
These conversations leave you drained. You may be left with an actual headache, but definitely a sense of total frustration. You will spend hours, even days, thinking over the argument you've just had. You’ll feel as if you exhausted all of your emotional energy to accomplish absolutely nothing.
Even if you have well thought out arguments in your head, you can never respond to all the deflections, accusations, personal attacks, and asides that make your points get lost and become irrelevant, so you try again and again to bring the conversation back on track.
You will feel the need to defend yourself and much of the time is spent in this way. You can tell the narcissist isn't really listening, they just want you to shut up so they can go back to doing the same thing and ignoring what you said. You’ll try to come up with a diplomatic solution, and you admit that you have been wrong at times.
But in the end, you’ll find that you’re the only one ever apologizing. One day you realize you are the only one trying to save this marriage or relationship, and that's the saddest day of your life. You sink into despair. It's hopeless without the narcissist truly wanting to repair and renew your relationship. You become resigned to divorce or a break up happening, sooner or later, perhaps right now, or perhaps you will go on for years in a loveless relationship...empty inside. Your spiritual life is dead.
So, altogether, these 9 things will be enough to prevent any problem from being resolved because the narcissist doesn't intend to resolve anything. They just want to get out of the present discussion and then, they avoid thinking about the problem and avoid you.
They don't even like you anymore, much less love you, but never the less they will blame you for the divorce despite the fact that you tried over and over to save it, with no cooperation from them
And, there is no closure with a narcissist. You feel lost and empty...and you find yourself asking again and again.....WHY? For God's sake, WHY? But a narcissist will never solve that problem for you. There is only the knowledge that you did the right thing, that it wasn't your fault, and that one day you will meet someone who will appreciate those good qualities.
"1. You’ll think you worked something out, only to begin discussing it again in the next conversation. And it’s as if you never even said a word the first time around, or the 10th time around. "
The Apostles have their names in Heaven, their way with a softened heart was to ask the Lord to increase their faith, as they saw wehen they are less willing to go around in circles, and become complainers themselves, their faith is not really there.
Matthew 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Luke 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
5 And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.
"2. Bringing up your past wrongdoings & ignoring their own
And God forbid you bring up any of their wrongdoings. Then, you are an abusive lunatic with a list of grievances that have no basis. In this way, the problem you bring up, however simple, never gets solved."
No looking forward is again proof neither has God with them, the Apostles AGAIN, only look forward..
Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
"3. Condescending & patronizing tone
The entire conversation will have the basis that you're obviously unreasonable, obsessed, or crazy, and they are entirely reasonable and a victim"
Yet again this shows it is antichrist teaching, pretending to speak Gods name, and lying in His name in every advice.
When we are placed with something basd in life, we can either be just as bad, or show Christ in ourselves.
When Christ is in someone, we see the way, to suffer wrongfully, and take it patiently( not returning evil for evil and complaining) but, to be revilved when we did no wrong is Christ(try faith)
1 Peter 2:18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
1 Peter 2:21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
"4. Accusing you of doing things that they are themselves doing
By diverting the conversation into your numerous and onerous faults, they never discuss the real problems in the marriage. This is called PROJECTION by therapists."
You know you cold study Gods word for answers, because no answers come from a persons words, they are without Gods Spirit. They are death not life.
Here is the answer, maybe stop taking things so seriously, as if a marriage is your whole life, when it is not. It is temporary, there is no marriage in Heaven.
Mark 12:23 In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife.
24 And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?
25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
Luke 20:34 And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:
35 But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:
"5. This is true, but wait, then THIS is true
If you angrily pull out of the conversation because it goes round and round, the narcissist will start insulting the things they once said they liked about you"
Again try following God more than in pretense, cast out the anger, and stop being able to be offended..
Colossians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
"6. Play the victim
They are the ones saying “abuse” while being abusive—and, in the end, you are left feeling nothing but empty."
How empty did Jesus feel ? Yet Christ endured the cross to show us how to not weary in our minds or give up, but to take the contradictions, that is what way Christ shows from Heaven, and ans way ? To show the way of hell pretending it is Heavenly...
Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
Psalm 69:20 Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
21 They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
"7. You begin explaining basic human emotions and actions
Most adults do not need to be taught the golden rules from kindergarten. You do this because you have attempted to see the good in them. You think to yourself, “if they can just understand why I’m hurt, then they’ll stop doing it.” But they won’t. In the first place, they wouldn’t have done all the hurtful things they have done if hurting you was their primary concern."
That's right, most adults can understand from young how to be nice. Also before a person gets into a marriage, they understand and take for granted, everybody knows common decency.
There is a difference between understanding something in your mind, and knowing it in your heart. If a person does not believe in the heart of Christ ( to sacrifice Himself for us) they believe instead in man. Trusting in man instead of God is not wise, it means we are going to be cursed in dry places..
Jeremiah 17:5 Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord.
6 For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.
7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.
"8. Excuses
You'd be humiliated if you broke a promise, but they are emotionless and it simply isn't a serious problem to them, even when you point out that they are destroying the all trust in your marriage and that the marriage can't survive without trust."
I know nobody will read this and see how clearly this article is against Gods narrow path, why do you think few are saved ? Because they do not know the mysteries of Heaven ( which are abasing ourselves)
Why do you think we are taught, if we see mistakes only in the other, we missed the massive ones we had, and we die because of ignoring this advice of GODS WORD OF LIFE ?
Matthew 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
Luke 18:14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
"9. “What in the world just happened
Even if you have well thought out arguments in your head, you can never respond to all the deflections, accusations, personal attacks, and asides that make your points get lost and become irrelevant, so you try again and again to bring the conversation back on track."
Do you not know that God made all by FAITH,, He said be, and it was. Abraham is in those words so we can stop fearing what man can do to us, and have strong faith, not staggering at the weakness of our life or bodies.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
Romans 4:19 And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb:
20 He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;
"So, altogether, these 9 things will be enough to prevent any problem from being resolved because the narcissist doesn't intend to resolve anything. "
The problem is in not being with Christ in you, the advice only deceives, but also the adviser is deceived, so that is the circle:
2 Timothy 3:13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.
Man gave his advice, but man even at his best advice is altogether vanity..
Psalm 39:5 Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.
