Author	Thread: "EMNGS" (Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome)
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	"EMNGS" (Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome) Posted : 4 Jul, 2009 09:45 PM I have a story that's been bothering me...it's all about a little thing I like to call "EMNGS"(Yes, I had to throw an acronym in here...it stands for "Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome" if you were wondering). So...here's a Mr. Nice Guy...great with kids, strong, mildly attractive in his own way, responsible, smart/intelligent, cooks a little, principled/good morals, does dishes, doesn't get angry, never hits girls(...or anyone for that matter...and nobody hits him...he's too nice), funny/witty/goofy=not afraid to embarrass himself to get a laugh, good listener(sometimes), commitment orientated, kind/sweet, likes to clean, brave, adventurous, EXTREMELY modest...anyway, he's a good guy and will probably be sainted for his patience. This Mr. Nice Guy in particular is maybe just a little too nice...and also, he doesn't really think he's exactly "prime" material(even though he probably is compared to some of whats out there)...here's a "prime" example. So, Mr. Nice Guy(or "MNG") finds a Ms. Nice Girl(conflicting acronyms here so...moving on). They hit it off right away...she's kinda not too interested "in that way" because he doesn't "seem" too interested, and plus he's kind of a jerk(in the best way possible...he's just trying to be funny...and doing a pretty good job). So they see each other random places for awhile. Run into each other at stores and church stuff. Become friends. Little does she know that he was, of course, infatuated the first time he saw/made her laugh and realized he wouldn't be able to get enough of it. So after awhile, he(MNG) finally musters up the courage to ask her(...MNG) out to dinner. She is slightly surprised, but says "yes" after giving him a little bit of a hard time. He, of course, almost passes out because he wasn't expecting her to accept...but he pulls himself together and manages to walk away without running into anything stationary...much(he does a couple just to hear her giggle). So, the big night approaches...he takes her to a nice quaint, quiet restaurant(or at least it was before they got there). They have a great time......choking on food...embarrassing themselves...just sharing life. He takes her home, they agree to do it again at a later date(no pun intended), and he proceeds to give her a nice, big, juicy, passionate handshake "good night"(c'mon...it is the first date...and remember...he's not just "EMNGS"...he's Conservative Christian "EMNGS"..."CCEMNGS"). So this goes on for quite awhile...during which time he has had his first date, holds a girl's hand for the first time, gives her his "first kiss", his first "I love you"(to a non-related female), his first serious relationship....first relationship period...in other words...he starts to think she's amazing...he starts to care. Here's where EMNGS really kicks in...he starts to want whats best for her...and realizes that maybe he isn't. He starts to think..."How arrogant is someone when they think they are what is best for someone else "for as long as they both shall live"? How does this person know that they aren't keeping this other person from something better??" So he gets a "little" depressed, because he doesn't see how he can take this any further without a guilty conscience...and he really kinda wants to...a lot...but he can't...he has chronic EMNGS. So he tears himself apart. Is there a pill for this?? Anyway...here's the twist...none of this actually happened! Wow, I know! You didn't see that coming! This MNG is perty "special":ribbit:...he has a uncanny ability/curse to see/imagine this coming! He meets a girl, they hang out a little, he starts to like her and starts to imagine where this might possibly go. He lives through the first date, first kiss, etc. in his own mind...finds out he's going to end up in that horrible place, and skips the whole thing to save them both the pain(and that's a lot of pain...believe me)! So basically...he thinks he can see whats coming, so...because he's an EMNG, he spares them both the "terrible" experience and starts slowly ignoring her before anything starts...for their own good, right? How pathetic is that? Anyway...here's the real twist! This guy is me! Wow, I know right?! Who's surprised?? I am!! THIS SUCKS!! -------------------------- :stop:HEEELP!!!:stop: Post Reply
ian777 View Profile History	"EMNGS" (Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome) Posted : 5 Jul, 2009 11:57 AM Hey "don'thitthatmark" I'm gonna call you dhtm (an acronym for "don't hit that mark" which just takes waaay too long to write out. :excited: I really like what you wrote - you are obviously a super nice guy; 1) do not descredit yourself 2) understand what arrogance/pride/humility are. You see, I had destroyed myself when I walked away from the Lord years back; I also destroyed my value in Christ; self-inflicted wounds. As a result, I struggled for years with understanding what humility/pride and value were. I was at a major ministry in Texas years back, so I went around and asked a whole pile of people "What is pride?" They all agreed that it was the opposite of humility, but nobody could give me a definition of what humility was. In the end, it was a man who had struggled with thinking TOO MUCH of himself who gave me the answer. He said "Most people struggled with self esteem, they think lowly of themselves; I was the exact opposite. I thought I was the cats meow - I was the greatest thing on planet earth. BOTH are a form of pride." Humility is *seeing yourself the way God sees you.* You ever notice how much the Lord tells you and encourages you, in love, of the good things you are/do? Yes, he points out your faults, failings, and need for repentence, but even that is in incredible love. What I am saying is that if a girl likes you, and wants you - then do not assume that there is perhaps someone better for her than you. I have done this repeatedly - to the point where it would interfere with my even approaching a lady. I had friends correct me and tell me to stop down-grading myself; that I "was a great catch." If you have good qualities, it is in all humility, and proper honesty, to acknowledge them. I would repeat those words to you here now, for this future time when your story may happen in real life. It would appear by your writings that there's a lot there that ladies would like (I know, I know, I'm not a lady - I'm just guessing here, okay? (grin)); that doesn't mean it'll be recognized, and it doesn't mean that you're compatible with every girl (you'll find out your incompatible with more than those you're compatible with), but that does not take away from your being "a great catch" for some lucky lady. Thanks for sharing, Ian Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	"EMNGS" (Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome) Posted : 5 Jul, 2009 02:54 PM Thanks for the advice. Nice acronym btw...I mean....by the way...but it's not that I think lowly of myself...maybe a little, but I have confidence in who/what I am and what I can do...maybe it all stems from the fact that I usually try to put others before myself(isn't that what we're supposed to do)? Maybe I put the girls I'm attracted to on a pedestal that's too high for me to reach? I don't know...and what scares me is that I'm starting to "not care" and to just accept the fact that the thing I want the most in this life is something I might never have. Besides...much more of this and I'll be such a complicated mess that no one will be able to get close...it'll be too much work. Maybe I just need live with it? Maybe it's God's plan anyway...not everyone gets to have what they want, eh? Questions, questions...:zzzz: Post Reply
View Profile History	"EMNGS" (Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome) Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 10:44 PM Hi! I just wanted to write a word to encourage you. I would not be worried about how you'll act or that you'll mess it up when dating a girl. Believe God for the person He has for you and when He sends her, don't be nervous and don't worry. God is giving her to you and God will keep her. He knows your heart and He knows what you want. Don't feel bad about yourself or assume that you'll mess something or be the wrong person or keep the young lady you date from finding someone better. As I said, believe God for the perfect person for and when He sends her to you just accept it graciously and thankfully as a gift from the Lord and know that He will take care of you and her. There is a verse I like in the Bible, (Prov. 10:22), "The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it." In other words, when God blesses you there is not going to be any bad in it. When God blesses you with the perfect person He created for you, know that you can't mess it up. Everything we do is by faith. Faith is how you're going to get a woman from the Lord for you. And faith is how you're going to keep her. When you live by faith, believing God will do it, it takes the pressure off you. God is doing it. So be who God called you to be and enjoy the godly spouse God sends to you. Don't worry about you. Just do all God called you to. Humility is not doing small things and taking no credit, it's doing big things and giving God the credit. Love the Lord, live by faith, ask the Lord to send you the perfect person, and just enjoy the blessings God has given you. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	"EMNGS" (Extreme Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome) Posted : 15 Jul, 2009 08:22 PM You get the award for best advice!:applause::rocknroll::peace::bow: Post Reply