Author Thread: True or not.
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True or not.
Posted : 12 Jun, 2018 02:48 PM

Is it true that all the good men are already married?

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JamesEG

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True or not.
Posted : 13 Jun, 2018 11:02 AM

No, I would not state that all the good men are already married.



In fact, some of the best men (and women) stay single all their lives.



Jesus and the Apostle Paul both advocated singleness for those with the discipline to avoid engaging in lustful behavior. Jesus was apparently single all his life, and the Apostle Paul was single during his ministry.



Single and celibate persons can develop a variety of friendships with various persons without getting into the troubles that many who rush into romance face.



Gradually develop closer friendships with those with whom you share many common goals, interests, morals, etc., and if it is God's will for you to be married, the right person will be available at the right time in the right way. And if not, I am confident you will still be happy.



Far too many people rush into romance and marriage, then end up divorced or in an unhappy marriage.



It is a key to put God first and seek God for one's happiness and not another person, as I see it.



Of course, many good people meet someone at an early age, develop a quality relationship, and live happily married for the rest of their lives.



But often the best people put God, education, work, travel, hobbies, volunteer activities, quality nonsexual relationships with multiple people, etc., first, and remain single for decades into adulthood or all their lives.



This is of course my opinion, but I think it is led by the Holy Spirit, and I hope it helps you.

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bushfire^

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Posted : 14 Jun, 2018 09:57 AM

What he ^^^^^ said. I know of the worse men who are married, are middle aged, and have been married since their early 20s. They fight with their wives like cats and dogs.

Then there are those who are married and divorced multiple times and who state it was their spouses fault, all 3, 4 times.

There are those who wait and let the low fruit marry themselves off thinking they got a great deal. Downside, you do lose some good ones that way. Their unhappiness in marriage is their own choosing though. They could have waited instead of marrying the man who wooed them the strongest. My neighbor did that and is now unhappily married. She did not look at the whole person, only that he pursued her with great passion. Then they married and he treated her like dirt, demanding she do everything for him.

Then there are those God calls from the world and who give their lives to Him. In turn they become wise, compassionate, and focused on Christ with a transformed mind and a second birth testimony that involves changed worldviews, not (just) speaking in tongues. They're a different person even though the personality is the same. They move from immaturity and falseness into humbleness and Truth. They put others first.

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Posted : 16 Jun, 2018 01:54 PM

You are absolutely correct, sometimes too many of us rush into relationship without a base of friendship and foundation which is Jesus Christ and along the way nothing works. And it all have to do with oneness in both individual, sometimes our purpose is not to be looking for the right person but instead to be that right person. I do think a lot of good men and women are still single but fear from hurt , rejection etc have made them that way. But as long as you believe and trust God , in hos timing notable yours all things will be giving unto the faithful. I always believe there are someone out there for everyone. We just have to keep praying and be faithful.

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bushfire^

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Posted : 19 Jun, 2018 04:52 PM

One thing I changed in my dating life years ago was to stop dating and just make friends. That turns most women off because they want a relationship. They say it in a way that tells me they're looking for anyone to slide in next to them and call it a relationship, whether they truly like the person or not. I want to eventually marry my best friend. I want friendship first, romance second.

As to fear holding back, I have not seen that in men. I have seen it in many women. They had a bad marriage or several bad relationships because they kept choosing the same thing over and over while hoping for something different (Pr 26:11). They keep choosing abusive men and then believe all men are abusive. What they didn't change was their blindness. I have to wonder if they approach relationships passively. If a man chases them, they go along with and hope for the best. They get the worse of men time after time. They trust men instead of being wise. God says not to place trust in men. That does not mean to inspect by asking if someone is mean. Spend time dating in non-romantic ways and observe how they handle being told no. No is a perfectly good answer most hate to hear. They're quick to say it, but hate receiving it. Read Mt 5:37. Yes and No are perfect answers.

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Jayzeee

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Posted : 12 Jul, 2018 05:26 AM

Well I hope not... :-)

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Moonlight7

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Posted : 20 Sep, 2018 11:29 AM

No. There are good men Not married. If you are considering how many men are in the US. Then you have to consider ages. Some are too young for marriage and others may feel they are Too old. So that would leave a limited amount available. Lol

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Posted : 5 Oct, 2018 12:20 PM

Depends on your definition of "good"....

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Ocean17

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Posted : 8 Oct, 2018 08:22 AM

I agree with Rambo.

My perception of "good" is evolving to a deeper definition of what matters in myself and in others.

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