Emotional Intercourse

Posted : 11 Jun, 2009 10:44 AM

What I have seen to be unique at this dating site is meeting people in a large corporate setting. It is like being in a room full of people and having individual conversations with someone you have just met. I see nothing wrong in talking with many of the opposite sex. Or in group discussions on various chat forums.

There is no reason to feel offended when talking to one person and they go to meet another. It is not like you are committed in marriage and sealed with a promise of �sexual intercourse.� I say this simply to compare what has become a kind of �Emotional Intercourse� we feel when sharing convictions, burdens and experiences of life. This Emotional Intercourse can also be called chemistry or friendship. I have even heard people use it negatively to describe an emotional affair. But I would hope those that come to a �Christian� dating site would also be unmarried.

The corporate nature of the site reminds me of a big church. A Place to encourage others and be encouraged. And it could lead to finding that soulmate so many people desire.



Communication is seen on five levels.



Five Levels of Communication"

There is an author describing levels of communication to which I have added my own paraphrase.

1. "The first and lowest level of communication is "hallway talk," which is largely rote and superficial."

This is the Hi how are you acquaintance level.

2. "The second level is "reporter talk," which focuses on facts and logistics."

This is giving a report or directions, How is the weather? Where is the class?, oh it's in the next building.

3. "The third level is "intellectual talk," which involves the sharing of thoughts and opinions."

This is the door into closer communication because there is a risk of conflict that others do not share the same opinions. You can always blindly agree to avoid any conflict. But this conflict potential can also lead to the next level where feeling or opinions and beliefs stir emotions and brings a need for conflict resolution.

4. "The fourth level is "emotional talk," which is based on feelings and emotions."

This is where the rubber meets the road. Communications can break down. People get hurt or mad. The author gave these points in reference to Husband /wife relationships and how to make it work. I would add that in choosing a mate we are also choosing who we have conflict with. And the ultimate key for success is conflict resolution. By overcoming together two people are brought closer through the experience. It has also been called "Climbing the Mountain together." By climbing the mountain, the couple overcome some great struggle and become one. Emotional Intercourse and sexual Intercourse go together.

5. "The fifth and highest level of communication is "truth talk," which deals with speaking the truth in love."

This where two become one by complementing each other and watching each other�s back.





Most people put on their best face at first but eventually learn the negatives later and that is why so many marry for a few years and then split.

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