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Communication; an attempt at meaningful discssion...?
Posted : 6 Aug, 2016 08:45 PM
Hello,
I'm hoping for some critical feedback. I was attempting to have a meaningful discussion with a woman on this site and it went totally array. I wanted to share the conversation and hopefully get some objective feedback. It is rather lengthy though, so if you wade through it, I very much thank you for your perspective in advance...! The conversation went as follows.
MY (Rishawn) Initial response to her post feedback:
Hello,
I say your post on "Number One Priority."
I should have just sent this directly to you instead of posting to the thread since my comment/question was directed to your comment and not the thread specifically.
So here it is...:)
Ahhhhh, is it just me or should we at the very least attempt to use words that actually correspond with what we actually think, feel and hope to communicate....?
(this is her initial post) "I think you should listen to what the woman is actually saying instead of the words she is using,"
(ME) Granted, I don't know the exact context; however the statement is a slippery slope at best when taken at face value.
Thoughts....?
HER Response:
You are asking me to solve the difference between men and women that God created. I cannot so that. Men think with logic and systematics. Women think with emotion and feeling. Men do not understand women and women do not understand men. There is a communication gap. To have a successful relationship, one must learn the art of how the other communicates.
I seriously doubt the woman/women you are referring to hates God, wants to put him last, or thinks her kids are more important. Of course some maturity needs to be practiced because love thinks no evil. This is where some common sense comes in to play. She didn't say God is last. What is she trying to communicate? Instead of being a literalist/legalist and parsing her words and sentence structure, try looking at the meaning of what she is actually saying.
ME (Rishawn):
Thank you for taking a moment to respond.
I do think you've created a false dichotomy though. Certainly men and women are different; created by God in His image both male and female. We could take that one step further and say:
Specifically Masculine in nature and
Specifically Feminine in nature
both with unique characteristics; some of which are distinct to each and others that are shared.
While I do believe that men and women do have unique Masculine and Femenine souls (how we Think(mind), Feel(emotions) and Choose(wills)); that does not necessitate being "Polar Opposites."
Or to be categorized as Logical/Systematic verses Emotional/Feeling; that is a false dichotomy/exclusive division. One might go as far to say you could sum it up Biblically as "Hard Heartedness."
Surely, you've known men who were highly sensitive and emotional and women who were extremely logical and seemingly unemotional in their thinking and relationships.
Rather than excusing our lack of communicative ability on perceived exclusive, comprehensive and insurmountable differences, whether that be in our communicating(sending) or perception/interpreting(receiving); don't you think it would be better to acknowledge that inability, begin to examine reasons for it, try to better understand our unique differences and our very real inadequacies, similarities and strengths...?
Learn to appreciate, respect and patiently work toward clearer and more productive communication styles that work toward the mutual benefit of all who are involved; not a win lose scenario, rather a win, WIN....!
For the most part, we're just plain lazy communicators and don't want to put in the work necessary to communicate well...:(
Thoughts....?
(HER) Reply
Thats the whole point that is troubling and shows you have an aggressive, argumentative spirit. My whole comment was based upon a context of what a woman said. You chose to rip it out of that context and attempt to correct or argue with me. You are an accuser and should be ashamed of your behavior.
(ME) Rishawn
"Ahhhhh, I'm not actually discussing the initial comment....:)
Rather your thoughts on communication / communicating; specifically between men and women...:)
We can save the "accuser of the brothren," discussion for another day."
(HER) Reply
"If you think that woman was saying God comes last, you are an accuser of the brethren and have no common sense."
(ME) Rishawn
"Ahhhhhh, I'm just asking about communication is all.
Which as we both know is extremely important...:)
Your comment although given in the context is not by any means exclusive to that context. I'm not arguing, simply engaging in meaningful discourse..:(
I'm sorry you feel so angry, can we discuss healthy ways to communicate without the anger...? You seem like a nice woman and you wear that clown nose GREAT...:)"
(HER) Reply
"I am not angry. I recognize someone who finds pleasure in picking fights with other people. I have no use for such people and have no need to chat further. Rebuke a fool and he will hate you."
(ME) Rishawn
Wow,
Blessings in all you are and do...
Soooooo, what do you think of this interaction...? I think she may have had some bad indigestion or something...? I'm having a very difficult time understanding how/why she responded in the manner that she did....any comments...?
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