By: Mary Kassian.....For enlightenment to girls and guys alike.
The �look.� The tilt of the head. The flip of the hair. The sway of the hips. The deliberate caress of a curve. The cross of the legs. The leisurely forward lean. The titillating exposure of skin. The brush of the bottom lip. The cat-like stretch. The lingering touch . . . by the time a female reaches adulthood, she�s typically been well-versed in all the classic flirt moves.
Recently, I hit the street near Notre Dame University, and asked college-aged girls what they thought about flirting:
Being a Flirt: http://youtu.be/mltOpV9qfVo
Girls gone wise channel on youtube
s flirting really just a game? Everyone�s doing it! Our culture upholds it as innocent fun�even the five-year olds in the toddler beauty pageants are taught how to playfully writhe and pose in a seductive way.
More than Just a Game
The Sage Father warns his son about women who try to capture guys with their �eyelashes��that is, with their flirtatious, coy glances. (Prov. 6:25) And in Isaiah, the Lord soundly rebukes His daughters for their provocative body language�outstretched necks, wanton looks, wiggling hips, and mincing feet. (Isaiah 3:16)
The New Testament repeatedly identifies �sensuality� as a sin (Gal. 5:19, Rom. 13:13, Mark 7:21-23, 1 Pet. 4:3). It�s a behavior that Christians are to repent of and turn from (2 Cor. 12:21). Seductive body language could have been one of the sins Paul had in mind when he told the believers in Ephesus, �But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity� because these are improper for God�s holy people.� (Eph. 5:3)
What�s the big deal? What�s the problem with flirting and showing off your womanly wares? You might defend your flirtatious behavior by claiming that you don�t intend to seduce a man to have sex�you�re just playing and are not really serious. But suggestive body language implies or hints at something improper. A woman who gives any man (other than her husband) a �come-and-get-me� look is effect telling a lie. She is thumbing her nose at God by hinting that illicit sex is desirable and exciting. She is sinning by willfully enticing a man�s thoughts away from the path of virtue. Body language that implies or hints at a wrongful sexual act is just as offensive to God as performing that sexual act.
Not Even a Hint
The Bible�s perspective on the sin of sensuality includes more than just the type of seduction that leads to illicit sex. Seduction is ANY behavior that purposefully leads another person in the wrong direction. It�s any behavior that falsely hints that evil is desirable or exciting. It�s any behavior that entices someone to think about something improper. Even if she�s just playing, the woman who turns on her sexual charm clearly wants men to think that sex with her is an alluring idea. That�s seduction. And that�s sin.
Nowadays, Christian teachers routinely address the problem of sexual sin in regards to men looking at porn and lusting after women, but they rarely address the problem of women inviting men to lust with flirtatious, provocative body language.
The disciples were aghast at the seemingly impossible standards Christ upheld. Jesus told the guys that looking at a woman lustfully was just as sinful as having sex with her. So I�m sure He�d tell you that giving the look to the stranger across the room is just as sinful as jumping into bed with him.
There�s no getting around it. The woman who deliberately sends the invitation to look and think about sex is just as guilty as the man who accepts it.
Keep Your Body Language Holy
But is ALL flirting wrong?
Body language is part of the romantic �dance� between a couple. The glances, the smiles, and the playful interaction are important elements that signal interest and move the relationship along. Nonverbal communication is an important part of all face-to-face interaction. Some psychologists say that it conveys 55 percent of the overall message. The point of paying attention to our body language is not to get rid of body language, but to make sure that what we say with our bodies is just as holy as what we say with our mouths.
What do you think?
Is the idea that women should be careful about flirting outdated and prudish?
How can you tell when your body language crosses the line from sending an �I�m interested in you� message to sending a �Wouldn�t it be fun to have sex with me?� message?
Do you agree or disagree that �the woman who deliberately sends the invitation to look and think about sex is just as guilty as the man who accepts it.�?
Is flirting ever okay?
(The video above is one of the dozens of sh0rt �conversation-teaser� videos on the Girls Gone Wise DVD)
Tags: dating, sexuality
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Comments (7)
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Crystal says:
January 31, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Flirting is like sex, in that it�s great when enjoyed within the bounds of marriage�but when taken out of that context it has the potential to lead to some very bad circumstances and lots of heartache!
David says:
February 2, 2012 at 10:26 am
Give us a hand, women; it�s tough enough without any help. If you�re genuinely interested in someone and he�s looking then a little goes a very long way.
Rebekah says:
February 4, 2012 at 11:14 am
I totally agree with this article!! I know so many godly girls that still flirt and when I see them doing it around other godly young men, it disgusts me. It disgusts me mainly because my friends *know* what they are doing. I pray that they would re-evaluate how they are getting attention from guys. (Flirting like that makes them seem so desperate!) I try not to be flirtatious�instead, be friendly!!
Thanks again. It�s given me something else to think about.
Aaron Marsh says:
February 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm
The few high school dances I attended were filled with young women aggressively �grinding� with male peers. I was a preyed-upon victim, and thankfully God graced me to feel extremely-beyond uncomfortable in that situation. To top off the discomfort was an insulting look of disdain upon this �prude�. I advise and urge all young women that you�re doing a great disservice to your honor, and potentially even the honor of another. Same goes for you, too, guys ♂. :)
(I don�t expect too many of these people to visit this site, but:) To those who believe that those women are simply doing what society has told them to do so, and that they made no conscious decision on their parts: Please remember that you�re insulting God�s gift of free will and conscience. You�re therefore also insulting beautifully-clean and godly young women blessed with the virtues to avert themselves from such activities. Resisting such coercion and temptations is difficult for members of both genders.
Sincerely,
A 20-year-old man, who hopes that women out there realize that they�re not the only ones doing right for righteousness�s sake. We men are too! We�re all in this together: ladies and gents. Through the support of one another and God we can prevail!
♥ ♂ ♥ ♀ ♥
Grace says:
February 23, 2012 at 9:40 am
I like it when guys comment on here and share what they think and feel about things. It really helps me put everything into a deeper perspective.
Thanks!
In His Grip,
Grace
Lisa says:
April 26, 2012 at 10:42 am
Let�s not forget advertising in this equation. I�ve been watching catalogs for years and not so recently has the problem arose where models are encouraged (by money?) to pose provacatively, as if to be �touching themselves�, but the cameras cut it at blatant, only enough to suggest. I was at my nearby department store where there is a large picture of a woman standing with her legs spread and her handbag posed in between and beyond. I�ve been offended from every direction and I want it to stop! Women are pretty enough, if they could bring up the standard of material to enhance their figures, the rest will take care of itself. I�m a fan of Pat Benatar who sang a song �Stop using sex as a weapon�. It seems to urge us to consider the damage being done.
Lisa says:
April 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I just came from a discount store, they�ve got the female mannequins pointing to their crotches, all of them-even in Junior department. It�s pure seduction/sin.
OLDER � Boy Crazy Girl
10 Easy-on-the-Budget Ideas for Valentine�s Day � NEWER
This is a very interesting, provocative post and article Blondie!! It seems as if the only way we as believers don't fall prey to solicited or unsolicited "flirting", is by the indwelling of The Holy Spirit...period! Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks for posting this Blonde and Amen! to that sis Joy!!!...:applause:
What ever happened to the days when a Gal full well knows the Gent is interested in her and the "feeling" is mutual that the Gal just up and says...
"I really like you and enjoy spending time with you?"...
Then ifin the Courtship goes well and Respect and Honor
as in Godly Respect and Honor is Always Formost...then when its time to get "Hitched" / "Married" and ya know its a Forsure Done Deal..." I DO !!! "...well then..."Flirt Away" !!!...until then...for me...
" This is a NO Flirting Zone" !!!....:bouncy:... X <>< O
Such a very unique and interesting topic Blonde. Well written and it has full of message.
Flirting is branded indeed as a negative way of showing interest either to a man or woman. A word so disgusting applied for whosoever doing it.
I agree to David saying � Flirting is like sex, in that it�s great when enjoyed within the bounds of marriage�but when taken out of that context it has the potential to lead to some very bad circumstances and lots of heartache!� may I add? shame. indeed it�s true. Who are you flirting at and why flirt is a question. Many are gone wild interpreting this word. Some became insane too of what could possibly a new and better strategy to hook men? �or, let us make it simple like us. A lot are even creating �for cause a movements� to start suggesting it is okay. I mean no offence like a movement of �its okay to wear nothing at least for a day,� while enjoying a train ride? �Like celebrating Independence day?! I agree we are born naked, but haven�t they considered too that they are creating another movement of �lust for free or rape is okay? Is this a new level of awareness that we should buy as it became free in the market?
Note to all. This is a Christian dating site. Yes! Most of us are looking for relationship (whatever you call it) that is why we are here. It say CHRIST + ian. Put not any shame to Christ. If somehow, we did it in the past then, it�s time to be renewed. Start today.
