Okay imagine that you have met a guy or gal on this site and that you have been communicating for a few months via email, im, and on the telephone. Oh yeah, this person lives in another state. Now the two of you meet and it's all good, you get along great and are on the same page spiritually, and you both believe that there is a future here. My question is this: would you be willing to relocate in order to get to know this person better? Why or why not?
I would like to know what people would do in that situation. I have also met a wonderful guy who lives in a different state. I share custody of my kids here and he has kids there. How would it ever work?
From the voice of experience let me give you some food for thought.
Your profile says you will not relocate. Does his relate the same?
This is the big question. But here's the bigger one. Since you both share in custody of your kids this means the other parent is involved right? Being that is the case then why would either of you want to deprive your children of the relationship with the other parent? Does not that other parent have the right to be with their kids any less than they do now? Does not the children have the same right to be with their other parent any less than now? Because if either of you moves then a parent from the other party will be deprived of the normal time together that they currently enjoy. To me that is plain wrong. It is unfair to the other parent and to your children.
Imagine your ex-spouse doing this to you. How would you feel then?
Long distance relationships under these conditions should not even be attempted. Stick with someone that lives within your area. Life is tough enough as it is, why complicate it?
Listen. I live a two hour drive from a wonderful woman who loves our Lord and happens to be just gorgeous. However she and I are unable to relocate and it's just a two hour drive away. We ended our romance and just became friends. Great friends. We were not going to put her and her daughter through a custody battle just because we love each each other. Her daughter and her relationship with her Dad is not worth it. That is more important!
You know so many people answer the are you willing to relocate question with sure why not. But have they really thought about all that is involved with picking up your entire their and moving to a new state where they have no family or friends? I feel that we really should think long and hard about this because when someone has read on your profile that you are willing to relocate, then they will be very hurt and disappointed if after they have made the emotional investment in you, you realize that you really do not want to move after all.
Everyone's situation is different, in my case because I live very lightly it would not be a stretch for me to start over elsewhere. But I would want to be as sure as I could be that there is a future with this person and I would have to confirmation in the form of total peace from God after much prayer. Well that's my opinion for whatever it's worth.
Wanted to put my 2 cents into this discussion, because it bothers me a lot. I've emailed a number of ladies that live relatively close and I've gotten no response. On the other hand I've had winks and emails from ladies 1000 miles away.
I take the "sure, why not" with a grain of salt. So that means that if a relationship develops then it would be me that would move. I don't know about the rest of you gentleman, but I need an income and it isn't that easy to get a job (a good job). Of course there is always the sometimes said, often implied statement by the ladies "financially secure". So ladies good luck on that one.
When I first meet someone on this site, my immediate response is to check out teaching jobs in an area near where the lady lives. Not looking good:prayingm:. I suppose there is still my dream job as overnight greeter at WalMart.:bouncy:.
Then after all that I sit an wonder how that translates into "GIVING IT UP TO GOD". Lord, why does life have to be so hard?
I will put my 1 1/2 cent in here. The options for "would you relocate" little little wiggle room, if you will. I just went back in and looked and they are very specific. There is no option for undecided or prefer not to answer.
As for who would move, does that necessarily have to be the man? I not talking specifics there but if there would be an option like "I don't know. I will let God decide that if the relationship blossoms."
Unfortunately in the society we live in money is a factor in all relationships. It's a factor even if one doesn't have a relationship. I work at a job where I have to say things and promote things that go against my principles. I am given "scripts" where I even, in my opinion, have to lie to customers. It seems to get worse every day. I have to take (and maybe this is out of context) the advice of Jesus (render unto Caesars what it Caesars and render unto God what is God's). I have several Caesars in my life. I take calls from people who live far away and I want to say "Please take me with you!"
Would I relocate? That was the question, right? I have to put it God's hands don't I?
That is an interesting question, and I will answer directly after some background information. As much as I hate deterministic philosophy, I can't help but believe that the whole free will vs. determinism is one or the other.
As an empiricist, I tend to go with the belief that I make my own choices because I'm often experiencing the thought process in which I decide one thing over another. But, I also have had experiences where everything worked out beyond my control and without any of my input for the better.
With that in mind, if God really intended that I marry someone that would include a one-way road trip, I have to believe that he would meet my needs in a way that moving to "Yourtown, USA" wouldn't just be a fun looking adventure, but really the best possible option.
Finally a straight answer - Yes, if God was sending me there.
