Author	Thread: How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed?
Admin	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 30 Dec, 2014 11:53 PM I wanted to date with an approach similar to courtship. I started talking to a guy from this site and we really hit it off. I found that, because we already knew a lot about each other from our dating profiles, we started talking about really personal, intimate stuff quite quickly and talking about a potential future. It felt like things were going too fast. We only ended up talking for about three weeks, it was hard because we were in different time zones. Everyone told me it was too fast and to slow down. Here's the thing though. I don't want to waste anyone's time. If we aren't right for each other, isn't it better to see/talk to other people instead? How do you start relationships with the intention of getting married someday, but not go too fast? What things should you talk about straight away, and what things should you wait on? Is it okay to discuss a few fundamental things before you start dating so you know you aren't wasting time (for example kids, where you want to live, your dream ministry etc)? And, bonus question, should you be concerned if this person has been deleted from the site by staff? Thanks Post Reply
HoosierHomeschooler View Profile History	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 31 Dec, 2014 01:18 PM Limit the time you talk with one person to get plenty of time to balance the "wow, he/she is awesome" with the rest of life. If you were dating in person you wouldn't be going to dinner every night together. You would go to one or two things / week for a while ... then build up as you moved toward engagement. That pace allows you get to know someone but hopefully not get your reason overwhelmed by the emotion. You can do that with online communication as well. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 31 Dec, 2014 04:44 PM OP, this may sound a little unconventional for most, but I've been talking to two wonderful brothers for roughly the same time...around 6 months. The pace established for our communications had largely revolved around our schedules, but getting to the point I'm trying to make...in getting to know these brothers, eventually one became, I don't know, "distracted" and the other has stayed quite focused. That last brother mentioned and myself, are still communicating and things are still going well! In my experience thus far, conversing with more than 1 person at a time, gives flexibility and options...at least in this online dating genre! IMO, there's no real "formula" as to how long or how in depth your conversations should or could be with a potential suitor! I'd say however that your mindset to connect with someone with solely the goal of marriage, may at some point become frustrating and possibly disappointing! From your prior posts, I know you're aware of how important garnishing friendships are, yet I sense a heightened level of anticipation from you in this post(smile)! Having patience in this endeavor is not for the faint of heart(smile)! Allow The Lord to assure you of His intentions for your life and who He wants you to share it with! May His best for you be more than enough! Post Reply
View Profile History	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 31 Dec, 2014 09:00 PM Hmm, I don't know. I was talking to someone from this site that I really liked, but the people in my life were starting to get concerned, and my mother said she would prefer me to date someone from within my own church rather than online. I guess I'm just on the site now to get advice and trade opinions rather than find a husband. I don't see a love life in my future anytime soon, lol. Post Reply
HoosierHomeschooler View Profile History	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 2 Jan, 2015 04:40 AM >> In my experience thus far, conversing with more than 1 person at a time, gives flexibility and options...at least in this online dating genre! That was something my parents stressed to me when I started dating ... way back 1000 years ago when I was 18. I believe it is good advice. >>I was talking to someone from this site that I really liked, but the people in my life were starting to get concerned, and my mother said she would prefer me to date someone from within my own church rather than online. Is your mother's eye on a particular man at your church? Could be a good thing ... or not. Are there some suitable available men there? Some of us come from very small church backgrounds. If you do too, you'll *need* to be open to someone beyond its walls. Slowing the discussions down either by limiting the amount of time or by carrying on conversations with more than one person (or both) should help. >>I don't see a love life in my future anytime soon, lol. Don't give up too easily! There are good men here and elsewhere to whom a never-married woman as careful about doing right as you are is extremely attractive. Post Reply
ACBFanClub View Profile History	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 2 Jan, 2015 05:46 PM courtship is always best if your church doesn't have enough single (never been married) Christian men, u might have to consider other networks or online just for getting to know people as friends :prayingm: but before you even consider dating, it's wise to let your parents meet potential suitors first, it's much safer that way :angel: less emotional baggage :boxing: with all the dangers nowadays, theres nothing wrong with doing a background check :MrT: Post Reply
1mountain View Profile History	How can you start/continue a relationship at the right speed? Posted : 6 Jan, 2015 02:00 AM A lot of good advice already here so I'll go straight to the bonus round. In my experience if someone's profile is deleted then there MIGHT be room for concern but definitely not always. One friend on here had to make a new profile because a guy she was chatting with here got ticked off and decided to retaliate by reporting her, and they deleted her profile. She's definitely a for real person though and regular user of the forums. Post Reply