There is a guy I fell for about 4 yrs ago. He like pretty much what I've been searching for and I never find any guy attractive except for him (honest). When I met him I could feel Gods light in him and knew he was going to be important in my life (idk what kind of gift I have but it happens). I'm a very go to kind of girl so I started talking to him only to find out that he was married </3 . Most likely he will not be with his wife long because she has cheated on him and in a drug addict. But I'm not here asking if I should wait on him, more like just what should I do? I have not found another soul that I was attracted to. I can't understand why the only guy that I've been looking for in my life isn't supposed to be mine. As Im still looking just incase there is another, I seem only to fall for him more. I don't know what to do. I hate to say this and I know its not true but it fells like a sick joke. I don't know if he would even like me anyways if he wasn't married.
Some wise advice would be appreciated and thank you.
That's a heart felt post Spooky or maybe I've taken it personally cause I can relate with what you are communicating here!
I may not be able to offer the help that you need; I'm only writing back cause you making perfect sense to me.
It does happen at times (if not often) that the qualities/values that you seek for from an opposite sex are very rare to find and when it does happen just once in a while that you meet someone who has what you need, circumstances won't allow you to enjoy a relationship with that person!
With my situation I had to learn to both LOVE and RELEASE at the same time, which came up with a tough price I must say for how can you release someone who you connect so well with; most probably the only person you'll ever have such an intimate connection with? Sounds crazy doesn't it?
I would advise you to release and keep your distance especially if his still married weather or not they are together or even stand a chance of separating due to the wife cheating. The tough fact of this matter right now sis is that his married... Period! That alone draws a thin line. Maybe in the near future you may enjoy a spiritual relationship with him since you've mentioned that you sensed God's light in him but then again that depends on them resolving their marital issues. If by any chance their marriage does survive the current challenges (which you should hope that it does if you really care about him) then you have to be on a same boat with, make peace with what you can't have and let go!
Best wishes on whatever you'll decide to do, let it glorify God at the end!
I too am it appears facing a similar situation. The last girl I went on a date with, three and a half years ago contacted me the other day. This started a few days of feeling depressed, as it hit me all at once how much I missed her. The love we felt for each other was the most intense she or I had ever experienced, but she broke it off with me and never told me why.
Shortly after she returned to her home country and last I asked she said she was in a happy relationship with a guy who made her happy. She had pretty severe depression when I met her. Naturally that was one of those 'happy for you but sad for me' moments. Since I don't know if they're still together and don't know anyone to ask for the answer except for her I haven't asked again.
We changed each others lives, and for whatever reason didn't stay together. One thing I can suggest is to not dwell on thinking about him and most of all not to dwell on your feelings for him. I spent a lot of time those three days thinking about how much I loved and missed her, and the more I thought about that the more depressed I became. If I just think of her now my thoughts will tend towards my feelings, but so long as I don't think about those feelings I remain free to reflect on what the true meaning of us to each other and the purpose for the relationship.
As long as he's still keeping the marriage together, stay clear. If they do divorce, let it be without a shadow of a hint from you. After that ... you and he are free.
�I started talking to him only to find out that he was married. Most likely he will not be with his wife long because she has cheated�
�As long as he's still keeping the marriage together, stay clear. If they do divorce, let it be without a shadow of a hint from you. After that ... you and he are free.�
My fellows in Christ, this is a sensitive subject I've always needed help in understanding. Would you kindly bear with me on further questions regarding this and rather help enlighten my understanding so I learn and get clarity on how this works! Hoosier, to a certain extend dear brother I do understand and agree with you that, should these two decide to divorce... �They are free from each other as you mentioned� For God does condone them divorcing only on the account of having a third part in existence illegally on their marriage!
What I carefully seek to understand further from this dear is this: �39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.�
1 Corinth7
Does this only apply to the wife genderly since she's the specified one whose under the law of the husband? Or it's a two way traffic on both genders since: The woman who was supposed to be a virgin before a sexual intercause with her husband; seals the covenant �Until death do them part� through her blood when bleeding upon the man on their first intercause!
Is she the only one expected to remain unmarried until her husband passes on weather they were divorced or not... Or same goes for the husband whose supposingly under the same vow, �till death do them part�?
What chances are there, that both are free (as we may assume) after divorce when both are yet still alive, is there an end to this vow?
Sisygirl: I have no intentions of messing up his marriage so no worries about that. If they are meant to be together I really hope it does work out between his wife and him. I still want to stay his friend though.
Also about divorce issue, I think if man or wife cheats on each other the other has a right to divorce them. Some honestly can�t move past that the one they trusted with their love and life tossed it away so easily. Also if marriage is a danger to them, like the spouse has became violent and unstable they can divorce. God doesn�t want us to be in a relationship that will harm us or cost us our lives.
1mountain: I do my best not to think about him. Its really hard though. I am really sorry that you had to go through this pain. :<
Hoosier: Thank you for your info. I will just wait stay away and let God guide me.
There are several teachings on divorce. Moses, Jesus, and Paul taught God's truth -- Jesus being God Himself and the others being inspired by Him. (Probably everyone agrees with that statement, but it is a premise of what follows.)
These teachings cannot be understood to conflict with or replace one another. They should be taken as complementary teachings, each addressing some part of the whole of God's law regarding divorce.
As I understand it:
* Moses permitted divorce for the hardness of hearts -- there being alternatives worse than divorce. (Consider Henry VIII)
* God always intended marriage to be permanent (Jesus' teaching)
* Adultery is just cause for divorce (Jesus' teaching)
* Remarriage after unjustified divorce is adultery (Jesus' teaching)
* Abandonment is just cause for divorce leaving the abandoned partner "not under bondage" (1 Cor 7)
* Serious abuse is the original cause for divorce and to be treated as abandonment (combining Moses', Jesus', and Paul's teachings)
* The verse cited regarding the wife bound while her husband lives assumes the marriage is in tact. If she is legally divorced, it is not addressing her.
* God's law is gender-equal. The gender-specific terms are culturally driven (e.g. man putting away his wife, but not vice versa).
I have a friend who has been through almost the same situation. She met her husband who was married at that time and God revealed to her that he was the one. She has been waiting eleven years for him. Now they are happily married and she's way younger than him.
I'm not telling you to wait that long. I'm advising you to pray about it. We don't know what the future holds he only knows. When you pray ask Him to show you clearly that it's His will bcoz sometimes The devil tries to deceive you. Then you will be sure. God wants you to tell him everything and to trust him.
I met someone and i just felt he was the only one i wanted. I prayed and told everything to God. He told me to wait that if it was him it would happen in due time. Now i'm praying for him but it was made clear that i had to cut off with him completely waiting for God's will. He may be the one or not. I stay open. But while i'm waiting i'm doing the things i like and i'm learning to do new things.
Ask God how He can use you. It helps!
I hope it helped. If you wanna talk write anytime i'll be glad to help. May God help you.
