Author	Thread: Martial Status: SEPARATED........
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 24 Sep, 2014 06:54 PM A question I've wanted to pose here to my CDFF brethren for some time now.....hypothetically, how far or how long would you entertain the idea of encouraging a possible friendship with someone whose separated? Would it help if they assured you that their divorce in progress is due to infidelity and that it's finality is a few months away? Honestly, I've always wondered if I ever found myself befriending someone whose separated, how would I conduct myself without treating them with bias? And if the opportunity avails itself, maybe ministering to them and who knows what could happen from there! With God, anything is possible! I'd certainly like to hear other opinions......... Post Reply
View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 26 Sep, 2014 05:05 PM Separated = Not divorced Not divorced = Someone else's property Taking someone else's property = Stealing The same chain argument is used for adultery and hypocrisy by plugging in terms in the law of a syllogism which simply stated is this: If A then B If B the C If C then D A therefore D So dating a separated person is stealing. Part B Befriending a separated person, which I think you may have been alluding to, has rules as well. 1. You may only meet with them in a group setting 2. See rule 1. That's my opinion. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2014 12:05 PM Thank you A Cool 66 for your down right honest and blunt opinion(smile)! Thank God I made this a hypothetical scenario in lieu your reaction, which from the meager responses, many here obviously feel the same way! A scenario I will admit I doubt I'll ever find myself in, but I pray that if I'm honored to ever be, as a child of God who'll only want to see the individual the same, it'll be in the confines of a group as you exclaimed, expecting The Lord to guide and direct the entire encounter! I'll always feel that whenever there is an opportunity to minister, to whoever, I'll be obedient and faithful to do so! Thanks again.....God's best. Post Reply
View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2014 03:26 PM Ah, you are welcome but, it only takes two people to have a good conversation. Maybe it has been ordained that we are the ones who are supposed to teach and the others are supposed to read and learn. When TWO or more are gathered in my name... me and you, there it is. We have back up. Post Reply
AriFi View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 29 Sep, 2014 01:26 PM I completely agree with the above. An addition about how it works in the Catholic Church. There we believe in the indissolubility of marriage, i.e. that if the marriage was valid it remains so even after infidelity, abuse or some such other grave sin. In such cases separation and civic divorce might take place, but the reality of marriage is still there and Catholic re-marriage is not possible. Another case is so-called annulment, i.e. investigation into the validity of the alleged marriage, which might lead to the conclusion that is was not valid since the beginning. Post Reply
View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 30 Sep, 2014 12:40 AM Point taken Ari, In the Catholic tradition it is not easy to get an annulment, therefore married people are married for life in some countries whether they stay together or not. Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 30 Sep, 2014 09:19 PM I think it depends on the motive behind that friendship. Often times we know at first site if we aren't willing to pursue anything further than what we already have in friendship with opposite sex, yet again we know in early days if we'd encourage anything further than what we already have if an opportunity may arise. There's always a motive behind us befriending certain individual versus a certain type of people. Again it can only be our loss if we are to class or categorise people on their current position especially if it's not a pleasant situation that they may be in like you've made an example of divorce. That individual may actually turn out to be a treasure in future marriage that he/she may partake in... In asmuch as he may be the cause of the current divorce. A saying that says, "Experience is the best teacher" is often taken wrong! We refer to the bad outcome of it when the guilty part pays the price for his bad deeds, when there's also great lifetime lessons that may be learned hard to bring out the best that wouldn't have manifested from that particular individual if he had not done the wrong thing that he has done already. Post Reply
flyby View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 3 Oct, 2014 08:22 PM I have nothing against divorced women nor how many times they been married but what I cant stand is a separated woman thats already out looking for a man, didn�t her marriage mean anything at all to her and I don�t care what the circumstance, is she so fused with lust that she cant put herself away until she be divorced? Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 5 Oct, 2014 10:34 PM Sisy my friend.....thank you! My sentiments exactly! You know when I posed this question at the time, I only had in mind the concept of a possible platonic relationship if I found myself befriending someone separated. Ministering to them was more my mind set, but never excluding the chance that there could be more if and when they resolved they're personal issues! The point was, as you exclaimed, is that I would never want to judge the individuals circumstances based solely on their present martial status! Allowing prayerfully, The Lord to guide and direct my actions and decisions! Again thank you sis and welcome back(smile)! Flyby......I understand your concerns when a person could seem as if they're "rushing" into another relationship, not fully healing from the prior one! Yeah.....unfortunately that can be a turn off but still never knowing what internal battles one might be fighting during this traumatic time in their lives......making prayerful, rational decisions is probably not at the top of their list! Just my opinion..... Post Reply
flyby View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 6 Oct, 2014 09:06 PM Your absolutely right Hisjoy, I do dive in head first, I guess I took the ex�s advocate here because of her being on an online dating site wile still married. Sry bout the HER I couldn�t bring myself to say her/he hehe Post Reply
grlnextdr777 View Profile History	Martial Status: SEPARATED........ Posted : 23 Oct, 2014 03:26 PM Separated means they are still married...for me...that's off limits. I didn't even entertain the thought of talking to someone until I was officially divorced. Post Reply

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