Beginning my adventure into the online dating has given me cause to consider why I am here and what I am looking for.
Well firstly God is at the heart of a relationship. Everyone seems to want this and after all isn't that why we are here?
The second point really is a cause for may prayer and thought. A common phrase that I have noticed that pops up more and more is "looking for the man/woman that God has for me." What does this wo/man look like. We have to have relationship that has intimacy; trust; love, integrity; common interests; makes me laugh; makes me feel good; is physically active; is bold and courageous - they arelead, yet sweet, soft and tender. The more I have been meditating on it the more I come to see these as human ideals and not of God. I appreciate that virtually of these can be provided with a Biblical mandate - but cannot virtually anything if people want to see something a particular why?
The second point of wanting what God has for me doesn't all this other stuff simply boil down to wanting "someone that with love me, someone that I can love."
Brother Wonderful posting! Yes everyone here is for a good relationship in Christ. I found this site a blessing not only for relationship but for fellowship of �The Royal family of God�. I believe this is the place we can share and learn about God�s Word!
I have gone through the profiles and find out some words like� Makes me laugh�,� Makes me feel good�,� Physically active�,� Bold and Courageous�. Exactly all these words are nothing but this are the mere human ideals and emotions (In other word they are �Carnal passions�. This words are not foundations for a strong relationship for the Christian family. The strong foundation for the Christian family comes from the source of Mutual relationship based on collective study of the word of God, Collective prayers, collective mutual trust and very strongly on the Christian Integrity.
Families that doesn�t have Christ as the centre n every aspect of their life is not a happy family. A family or a relationship that is not based on the spiritual aspects has no value in the sight of God. The entire carnal check list we produce is not at all a base. We are the children of God and family of God. A strong relationship comes only by the more love we have for God!
Because the God�s word says:
�Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said to him,� You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind�. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it:� You shall love your neighbor as yourself�. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.�(Matt 22:36-40).
So by above verses it is clear that a strong Christian life and the source of a strong Christian family is based on loving God at first and later is to love others. This is the basis for a strong Christian life and relationships. If a wo/man puts I would like to have a girl or boy who loves God more than me is the correct way of expressing a strong relationship. Because one who loves God definitely loves other because that is the second step immediately followed by loving God at first. The wo/man who loves God at first would definitely love others especially the one whom is getting married!
The one who loves God always loves others!
PRINCIPLE: You cannot truly love a wo/man. If you are not a true lover of God.
Carnal passions are not the basis for strong relationships for the children of God. Further I wish the following excerpts will be an added encouragement for the better understanding of a relationship or marriage.
UNITY IN GOD!
In God�s intent the relationship of husband and wife is to be completed in their oneness with God. The relationship between Adam and Eve began to deteriorate when they chose alienation from God. Perhaps their creation of clothing was the intuitive response and first evidence of this interdependence of the two relationships, horizontal between husband and wife and vertical between each and his Lord. Oneness in Christ gives depth and staying power to the human relationships.
Thus, in God�s marvelous design for marriage the Unity/Oneness in God reinforce one another in a glorious spiral upward toward the fulfillment of God�s purpose in Marriage.
Since God planned marriage to be so good, it is no wonder that he should, in love for his people, creat safeguards to keep it good. These are necessary because there are many enemies of God�s plan, many ways of abusing human sexuality that subvert and destroy the purposes he had in mind. In fact, anything that would detract from the oneness of the two God puts together, anything that would eliminate procreation, or anything that would distort the reflection in human marriage of God�s own nature is the enemy of God and Man.
ONENESS IN HEART AND MIND
The first positive element in oneness is not physical union (which we have come to glorify as �sex�), but the completing of another in a love relationship that embraces all of life.
Even the oneness of Bodies cannot be fulfilling in its most satisfying potential unless there is oneness to some degree in spirit as well, because sex is at root a psychological phenomenon. Heart unity provides the basis for releasing the ultimate in physical ecstasy, but it goes far beyond the momentary physical thrill to a total-life mutual satisfaction and fulfillment.
The Biblical standard for oneness and wholeness is love, which includes sharing of interests, activities, purposes, and goals. Of course, partners may have interests and activities independent of one another, but their oneness of purpose and loving identity calls for open verbal sharing of all aspects of life. Communication is the channel of Unity. Without it, true oneness will prove illusive. (Here I want to add my personal thought that the communication here means that the Biblical pattern of communication is the important aspect of our lives).
But oneness is more than self-giving love and open communication, which can and often should characterize other human relations. These alone will not hold a marriage together for long. The romantic euphoria of the newlywed may soon be dissipated under the impact of the harsh realities of life in which two independent beings are shut up to one another, especially when the desires of one begin to impinge on the desires or rights of the other. Communication can be a weapon to destroy unity as well as a channel in which loving unity may flow. What is the essential ingredient, then, if it is not love?
The key to a successful marriage and the cement that holds two people together for a lifetime is commitment, an exclusive contract relationship that is not negotiable. This is the only basis for true oneness in marriage. Without this commitment to fidelity and loyalty, any relationship, no matter how loving at the outset, is too fragile to survive.Furthermore, without this commitment, there is a tentativeness that undermines the relationship and belies the profession of love. One who experienced this uncommitted relationship testifies:
You can�t say someone,� I love you. Let�s live together to see what happens.� On those terms, either of you can split at a moment�s notice. As a result you never really can be yourself or feel free to disagree without fear of losing the other person. You can never have the liberty to share your deepest feelings. You have to hold back. The relationships doesn�t get a chance to grow because it is based on a conditional acceptance which is the cover for the self-gratification of two people indulging themselves in what they politely term a meaningful relationship. Real commitment, on the other hand, says,�Iam willing to spend my life with you to see you grow.��..others say,� For as long as we both shall love�..� Love may have some cold spots, and it alone will never be enough to hold two people together. It�s commitment that carries them over difficult times. Commitment is what God intended between a man and woman. That is why he set up marriage-to express a lifelong commitment.
Marriage is a sign and demonstration of God�s character as the great covenant maker and covenant keeper. In a covenant, the crucial elements are fidelity and integrity, not emotion (Here I want to say my personal opinion that carnal emotions have no way the strong possibilities of an effective Christian marriage.� Someone who can make me laugh� is a carnal passion and not a basis for a strong relationship in Christian marriage).In marriage, it is not romantic feelings nor compatibility nor sexual adjustment that makes success possible, but the fidelity of one�s covenant vow. Covenant is the crucial centre of life.
Commitment, then, is the surest evidence of true marriage-eligible love, and love, in turn, is the greatest reinforce of commitment. But oneness of spirit is not the only element of biblical unity in marriage.
ONENESS IN BODY
When God created Eve and brought her to Adam, the word was clear: The two shall be one flesh. This is one of the great,joyful,uninhibited themes of the song of songs Further more, scripture in each era teaches directly that this is the good will of God(Exo 21:10;Prov 5:15-19;I Cor 7:3-5; Heb 13:4).Physical union takes to its most intimate and ecstatic conclusion the oneness of heart, and reinforces it as well. In fact, each unity is essential to the fullness of the other. Just as two people committed to one another in marriage vows of love are not one un till the physical union is consummated, so two who unite physically without the marriage commitment, or in the bonds of marriage but without the love, are still incomplete. Thus in the God�s marvelous design for marriage the three unities
1) UNITY/ONENESS IN GOD
2) UNITY/ONENESS IN HEART AND MIND
3) UNITY/ONENESS IN BODY
Reinforce one another in a glorious spiral upward toward the fulfillment of God�s purpose in marriage.
Also please read (Psalm 128;Prov 31:10-31).
Bibliography: Biblical Ethics by Robertson Mc Quilkin; pg 190-192.
Greetings MartySmithNZ... Great topic (There�s many peek-a-boos, but not many answers)... So, I'm going to reply and give my 2 cents...:applause:
Question: What is a Christian relationship?
#1. Two People that live their life, "to where God can be seen through them" (meaning; they live & do things in a Godly manor and not disrespectful or of the world).
#2. Two people that are equally yoked (holds the same values & direction, in which God's word instructs).
#3. Two People that honor & respects their parents (so that they can live a full & prosperous life).
#4. Communication (so they can honestly set attainable goals and provide for one another�s needs & desires).
Because if they possess all of these characteristics, they'll place God first in their life (in whom, will give them an honest direction). "For what ever God starts, He finishes". With them being equally yoked, "they'll have respect for one another�s love, feelings, opinions and desires". The combination of these qualities will bring stability and a solid foundation to their relationship.
Because if your house or relationship is built on sand, "it will blow in the wind" (what is known as "Divorce").
