Author	Thread: How I Moved On
Admin	How I Moved On Posted : 23 Nov, 2013 02:41 AM I don't know helpful this will be or it people will just read this and roll there eyes and be like "Duh" :rolleyes:, but I wanted to share anyway just incase anyone out there was struggling with this and did find it to be helpful. I was vulnerable once. I asked a girl I worked with out after a lot of build up and thinking I had a really good chance and she rejected me. After that I hated her uncontrollably despite how much I didn't want to. Every time I saw or thought of her a flood of negative emotions would quickly well up in me even after many months after being rejected. How I was finally able to stop this was when I realized the reason for this was because every time I saw her or thought about her, it stirred up all these other perceived feelings of all the potential inadequacies there were about myself in how I felt I didn't measure up, and hating her and wanting to be a jerk to her (fortunately I think I maintained my self-control and did a pretty ok job at not actually doing that one) and avoiding her whenever possible was how I was dealing with it. At a deeper level I was probably hating myself too for not being good enough. Instead, how I needed to deal with it was to accept that I was inadequate, at least to her. It was really hard to do. It was like being vulnerable with myself and admitting that I'm not as adequate as I thought I was, least of all great. After admitting it, I was able to accept it and after accepting it I was able to accept myself more wholly, put the inadequacy in it's place and able to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	How I Moved On Posted : 23 Nov, 2013 03:35 PM R8E8....First my heart really goes out to you concerning this level of rejection. I say "level" of rejection because when you still have to see that person on a fairly regular basis, it only takes longer for your self esteem to heal. I'm really sorry however that at it's end, for you to get some type of closure, you convinced yourself that you were "inadequate" in meeting this girls standards! Well my brother........that's a bunch of hogwash!! God's elect will and shall never be "inadequate" for anyone! The question is was she the one who was really not "adequate" enough for you...DUH(smile)!!!? Man of God, I will never, ever accept that if someone rejects me here at CDFF or in the flesh, that I was probably "less than" what their standards or requirements were! That will never happen.....why because I know who I am and WHO I belong to! God made no mistakes when He created you child of God! And please remember that who God is preparing for you and you for them, that will be a PERFECT match made on earth as it is in heaven(smile)! Stay blessed! Post Reply
View Profile History	How I Moved On Posted : 23 Nov, 2013 11:37 PM I appreciate and agree with much of what you're saying HJMP, but I still think the fact of the matter is that she didn't think I was adequate. Accepting this does not mean that I think I am inadequate, it just means I'm accepting she thought I was inadequate for whatever reason good or most likely otherwise. And I think that's ok and even healthy. Through accepting it, I no longer care about her or what she thinks about me, which would have never happened if I kept denying it and trying to find a way to prove to her and all of woman-kind that she/they were wrong. It allows me and God to dictate and keep a more realistic perspective of my worth and rather than her. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	How I Moved On Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 10:59 AM Ok R8E8, I really do understand your thought process on this. And whatever it took for you to heal from something like this, yet maintain your self worth, I'm all for that(smile)! I'll always wonder though, which won't matter know, if this young women would have, at all, gone thru the heartfelt process you underwent if the shoe was on the other foot? Ummmmmmm........just my thoughts! However I do truly Thank God for your healing......allowing you to "move on"! Stay blessed child of God. Post Reply
Mercymay View Profile History	How I Moved On Posted : 24 Nov, 2013 10:59 PM Just be yourself and prove her wrong. Let her realized what a great opportunity she missed, lol! Well, there are a million reason why she rejects and it might not be about you. Maybe also God reserve you for someone else�never know. Also I believe, if you truly like someone, you cannot just put it on and off because she rejected you the first time. I think being persistent will work and it is biblical. Post Reply
View Profile History	How I Moved On Posted : 15 Mar, 2014 09:54 AM At May: A good tip, indeed: Also I believe, if you truly like someone, you cannot just put it on and off because she rejected you the first time. I think being persistent will work and it is biblical. But experiences may tell some people have been wrong when choosing, even me, the *perfect* Mr Right and WRONG. He* He* :hearts: Post Reply