I red that we shouldn't judge people on how they look like but on what is inside because sometimes, we see someone and we don't really get to know him or her and we do a movie in our mind and reality is far from what we actually imagined.
May be we should give a chance to people for what they are inside and not outside. for inner beauty will last on the contrary of the outside.
For sure there are certain things that are obvious like the age or the culture which is too different sometimes, for some it may be religion but instead of that, i think that true love is two hearts that come as one, not two bodies because in this case it will only be physical and it can be easily broken but not two souls that are joined.
Its good to interact with you once more my sister.
Interesting question you've asked I must say
I personally think it depends on ones' interntions by being in that relationship. Its a question of ones' priorities also, values, qualities, requirements etc
All I can say from a personal experience without intending to sound self sufficient or proud, is that looks comes up with a price. I've share enough already of how often i'm mistaken for intending to take people's boyfriend, which i'm quite familiar with until I was currently mistaken in the church too, even when I was at my worst looks. (do keep in mind i by no means intend to brag about how I look) I'm only trying to show that there's a certain price one pays for looks, its timidity & rejection since people (ladies inparticular) are protecting our territory.
Then again where would one be without brains?
Life is very hard.... Relationships' are even harder with countless challenges to go through as a couple. Can you bear having a partner who fails to reason?
I'll only be concerned about looks (when/if deciding to fish for a mate) if he meets the following:
* Altars: Who is he's sauce? And the energies he'll be bringing forth in my life (we should really be careful of those we spend our time with, their energies do rub on us)
And again, you always are attracted to those of your kind.... Hense they say "do not tell me about your self, rather show me your associates. I'll then tell you the person that you are."
* Reasoning & intelligence: (which I often prefare the Holly spirit's wisdom more than our natural intelligence that often fails us) But all in all is he a thinker? Does he challenge me in any positive/fruitful manner?
* Responsibility & accountability: Is he accountable & responsible for he's actions and he's intire being at large? This one might take a life time to discover, though current signs are always there even in early days. How can you trust him with fruits of your womb when/if he fails to take care of himself? Those ones make you pay for your meal in a date (whose are first signs) its not a question of money or affordability or else you wouldn't have bothered. Its just little signs of showing if he's a man.
* Personality & charector: Our differences won't really bother me, infact I can do with someone who can influence & dilute me for the better (I feel i'm boring in a way, I always don't have much to share, its as if life has passed me by. Its always about work issues cause that's my life... don't really have life)
I'll be more concerned about finding a common ground, inspite of our differences if they won't dilute me somehow.
* Openess: Does he let me be my self around him (i'm not a queite person when comfortable around you, anything can start a conversation)
And again is he the kind who bottles up or who talks things thtough... Which I often prefare
* How does he relate/threat those around him: Its very important to observe either through he's talks or in any other way, how does he threat especially he's mother.... That's how he's most likely to threat you.
The list is endless dear
It is after he has met these, will I then worry myself about how he looks.
I meant to say: signs are always there in early day if he's a responsible man or not, this reflects in little things like, those guys that make you pay for your own meal in a date (50/50 they say)
If it was more of a question of money,
You wouldn't have been there from the first place, instead its more of trying to figure out if you guys can make it through a relationship which is far based on few dates & meals.... Though it is through those little things that both parties will pick up signs if you're portantial mates or not.
In mairrage their are three connection points of relationship.
Emotional, Spiritual and physical.
Can a couple have connection on two of these levels or just one of these levels without connection on the others?
Yes, It happens all of the time........
Here is the thing though. Without connection on at least 2 of these emotional and physical any relationship is doomed for failure.
Why?
Because women more than men come from the emotional side of a relationship and need connection on an emotional level deeply and men come from the physical side of a relationship and need physical connection deeply.
Physical not just Sex,,,,ual but shared experiences.
For a man in particular we need a certain amount of stimulation of a womans looks to remain stimulated for the physical connection of intercourse. Some women need this also.
Does it make it wrong that one needs more physical stimulation than another? No
Take the Spiritual connection between potential spouses. Some people might find it acceptable that they are simply saved by grace and others need greater Spiritual interaction of Faith on a deeper level.
In the emotional some might need a stronger emotionally challenging pereson and some need a person who is totally even keel when dealing with emotion.
So what is my point?
First their is more to a dynamic relationship than just appearence and physical and it is found in emotion and Spirit.
Second we all have varying needs and preferences.
Third let us look to what our needs are in fulfilling them with another who is suited for us.
Fourth, lets not worry about the rest in judgement of them.
I personally find something beautiful in almost every women I see these days because I have overcome being worried what others think of my choices.
Let us be people who look for good and have positive attitudes toward oneanother and show the Spirit of God in our attitudes as we wait on the Lord to lead us according to His will.
George, may be on this site it's hard to judge people by their physical appearance, that is not my point, i'm talking about global relationships. However, even on internet, we can see how the person is in the long run.
Hey sisi, thank you for your answer, i posted this so that people interact so don't apologize. even if you do mistakes, i do the most important thing is that we understand each other and we learn from each other.
Well, after what i red, i can do only one thing is to agree with you. surely, it's the way he treats you that makes the difference. If someone respects, loves and takes good care of you it means he can be a good husband.
concerning the physical thing, we all have our type of men or women but what we should consider is God's type. i know so many people who have been with a type of man but got married to someone very different. it's better when love is not at first sight but appears in the long run. i mean you get to know each other without the sexual attraction that is consuming all the time and sometimes makes someone blind.
thank you letthisinmind it has been really helpful, it's the the first time i see this from this point of view, in life we never stop learning. i agree with you, you must have things in common in order to consider a relationship and we shouldn't consider what others think but what Jesus and ourselves think.
I am sorry to be the bearer of truth here but the FIRST thing EVERYONE does on here is look at the photos! Am I saying this is right....no! But you have to have some type of attraction to the person. Could it be the mind you are attracted to? Eventually, of course. But this generally adds to the attraction you already have...
