What is your idea (if at all there is) of a lady asking is a civil manner if the guy she's currently dating/in relationship with,
If he has interntions of taking the relationship to the next level, depending on the current level they're in? (keeping the time frame in mind)
Nothing personal influencing my question, just asking out of interest sake.
I know that,
This subject/conversation is one of those that can easily turn out to be uncomfortable taking about, depending again on how well does the couple masters' communication,
The openness & honesty from both parties,
And if any of them (if not both) is ever concerned about waisted efforts & time.
So there's quite a number of things to bear in mind when having this conversation
But all in all, what is your right idea of a lady finding out if really it is worth her while without coming across as if she's puttng pressure on the guy,
But genuinely asking since she's responsible for her future, and time waisted can only be her self to blame, since she willingly availed herself without finding out if the relationship is inline with her future plans.
LTM & DHTM
I really learn when you two are either expressing your differences OR having something similer to express on the asked question.
I'm those kind of girls that loves life & planning on settling down with my husband, in the near future (which you currently not) we're just only in a relationship.
Understanding very well that it is your place to ask me to marry you (which is something again that i'm not in hurry of or won't even put pressure on you that you should consider marrying me)
But now the time passes by (could be about 6-12months) and we've never spoken about the subject of your interntions/plans by bringing me forth into your life. And maybe by the look of things you won't start this conversation, unless I do.
Me on the other hand i'm wondering if the relationship is really worth my effort (keeping in mind the time frame we've been in a relationship 6-12months without just talking about this, let alone not agreeing with one other at some point.
Concerned again that we might just find our selves active sexually if dating for too long without clarity of dirrection as to where is the relationship going. (remember that we're attracted to one onother hense in a relationship)
Now my question is:
What would be my (lady) decent/civil/right way of initiating this conversation without coming across as if i'm putting pressure on you to marry me (cause its gonna come across like that should you (the guy) miss my question?
Its very possible (infact its happening) that we could be dating for 5years without any progress only to find that in less than 6months after we've broked up you'll be marrying someone else. Again its a two way traffic...
I availed my self to have my time waisted on you, maybe with kids by then for that matter.
How can a lady initiate this question without reflecting pressure on the guy?
Now i've stretched the question so is more clearer dear, on the first part of the question (first post) was not thinking of babies & sex
It is all a matter of limiting frustration in a relationship.
You as a woman have the right to know where the relationship is going. That you can choose for your self if you desire to go there. Men have the right to communicate to their woman where they are going to see if you the woman will follow.
It really is as simple as can we walk together. This requires communication on both parties and questions asked on both parties to figure this out.
We are still working on this matter and just on the verge of getting over a road block in our relationship.
The maturity of finding and walking according to Gods will together in equality in unity.
Sometimes this requires waiting on one party and trusting God in their life to lead them according to the Spirit of God in them.
That is the third strand in marriage, right? But the key thing is this beloved.
Having enough time to truly see the working of the Spirit in the other that one can walk in confidence in this work through faith.
Else you are unequally yoked and will become frustrated with this skism.
Can you please dear explain further what you mean when saying "We are still working on this matter & just on the verge of getting over the road block?"
If at all you don't mind opening up more about that.
She was the first woman who not only served with her words that she wanted Gods will but lives it out in action.
The road block was the hold her family had on her to make decisions. This hold violates the reality of her and I seeking the will of God together that we would walk in harmony.
Anything that prevents our ability to discover the will of God is a idol. She has since repented of this and now is fully a adult.
Now able to walk with me according to the will of God. I had to take the marriage off the table but I was confident in her and the Spirit of God in her to do this work.
She thanks me for this because I enpowerd her to become a greater woman that I already knew she was. She is now a force to be reconed with because her heart is surrendered to Christ.
She is a strong and mighty woman and I love her with all of my being but God is still greater in me. That is why I am now able to live with her in such strength and confidence. To lead our relationship cause I am in the yoke of Christ.
It used to be the other way around I used to make women Idols in my life.
Can imagen friend how frustrating it was have people interfering in your relationship with your beloved one. Though I can assure you they meant well dear. Its normal I think for the daughter's family to behave like that when she's about to be married. They only looking out for their daughter, with different race in your case, that too could influence their behavior. Only the two of you know that what they're doing in not inline with God's plans, since He respects our decisions, and agreements, even more when the agreements are rooted in He's word.
We are often tested on things we love & desire to have most. God has a righteous habit of doing that. Your patience had one way or the other to stand the test of time just like other fellows in the bible who had to endure their share too. Jacob was given a wrong wife & had to work onother 7more years to earn he's wife.
Yes dear some things we earn, some we have out of generosity. And Jacob's experience tought him to love & be content with he's wife inspite of her being unable to have kids. Only the wives were competing in having kids, Jacob was not really bothered by that, hense Leah was never loved even when she gave him more kids. The testing of our patience does bring good results, as James says "Count it all joy when fall into various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience" you might just find your self more tolerant of her flops, knowing how long it took you to enjoy the previlages of having her to your self.
I still say its a turn on when a man works out to secure he's territory. It does something to us ladies, though we may turn to be frustrated too by unnecessary delays.
