Thread: Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
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Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
Posted : 21 Jun, 2013 05:09 PM
The problem with Women:
Women have little or no problem at all, except for playing �difficult to get� when their �husbands� come calling. Unfortunately, some men don�t like being fooled around by women. When they make an attempt and nothing comes forth in time, they withdraw completely! I have seen some cases where some women delayed responses to men�s proposal for 6 months!! That�s crazy!! Well, some men can have such a dogged determination, but not all of them. If a woman comes to give testimony that her husband waited for 2 years before she finally accepted him and you think that is also ideal for you, too bad!!
In addition, God�s will may clash with human will in many women. They seem to be too choosy, wanting a kind of man or the other. Fantasies are very common among women, but it is usually better to allow God�s will to prevail and always better to express your desires in prayer rather than in fantasies.
I know of a woman in my church that said she and her husband married in a single room with only one mattress for them to sleep. Between 7 and 10 years later, they are one of the richest people in town, living a huge mansion and with fleet of cars. Another one, a pastor friend, said he pursued a lady for 6 years!! Yet, the lady kept saying NO!! Just 3 weeks to this pastor�s wedding to another lady, this first lady started sending her brothers to my pastor friend to beg him and accept her. Alas, it was too late!! Eventually, she got married to someone eels, but she kept telling my friend that she is not enjoying her marriage. Many ladies are involved in this kind of situation.
I think Christian ladies need to be closer to God at the period of choosing a man to marry more than any time else in life!! Sometimes, a lady may get 5 or more proposals at the same time, and there are seasons that a man may not even look at her twice let alone get a date invitation. God�s wisdom is required to manage these contrasting situations, as they say �opportunity comes, but once...� I strongly believe that many single ladies of 30 years above desperate to get a husband had at one time in their lives received proposals, which they threw in trash can out of pride or ....
As far as marriage is concerned, the main problems lie with men. Well, I am a man. From my personal experience, more than 70% of marriages break because of men�s unfaithfulness. Well, that�s not the debate here.
There is a popular belief that men population in the world is lower to that of women... nope! If you studied Biology (Population Genetics), you would understand that human population is usually a ratio of 0.9:1.1 either in favour of men or women in different countries. There is what is called �Balance in nature� between predators and prey, men and women, producers and consumers etc.
Men are the ones who have problem of wanting to have a car, build a house and have a �great� job before getting married. Some men are not willing to give up their liberty for marriage. I mean, in marriage, a man would have to come home on time, stay less with friends and more with wife, stop or reduce partying and drinking, and some men don�t like that. In fact, one of the first crises a marriage face is �friends versus wife� and the solution lies with the husband. As a result, it is not that men�s population is lower to that of women, but the number of men wanting to get married is far less than the number of ladies waiting to go to the altar.
However, that�s not all. Some men simply have hatred for women, and this could be complicated. Some men may have been victimized by women � rape, being duped or his mum broke up with his dad and abandoned you � and as such, they turned off women from their lives and never willing to get married. Eventually, the devil gives them an alternative of homosexuality so as to meet their sexual needs.
Another group of men are the shy types. Some men simply have problems relating with women. This is probably because they were born into a family of only boys and the only female in the house was their mother, they went to �boys only� schools and had very little time with girls. Such will definitely have problems of building confidence to face a lady to say, �I love you�.
One simple truth here for ladies is that: if God leads you to a man and he did not come to propose to you, if you are convinced that he is a child of God, better you go and propose to him! Propose to him? Yes. If not, someone else smarter than you will go first and �snatch� him from you. Better don�t let �Jacob come and take your blessings away�. If he is a child of God and he is matured, I am sure he won�t laugh at you! He would take it serious. The point is that he may be a shy type or while God has told you about him, He didn�t tell him about you. So, you need to pray and go and talk to him yourself, then he would get down on his knees and pray and of course, God would confirm your proposal to him and the deal is made! Another alternative is to talk to your pastor about what God told you about him and let your pastor act as an intermediary.
I am just concerned with the fact that there are so many Christian ladies out there; desperately look for someone to call �my dear�, and in the process, some of them fell to the wrong hands.
Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
Posted : 21 Jun, 2013 08:17 PM
Could be right about weman being too choosy, I fully support them. A lot of things we're rather stuck with, & if only we could choose, we somehow think we've could have made better choises, for example.... We don't choose family. At times these people hurt you so much in Jesus name, when you're hoping for the better since Christ is life in members of my family (I know this is a little personal)
I've seem my mum pouring out her very best to her husband (my father) yet her efforts have been so invain that if she would have chosen to divorce, we (all 5 of her step kids) would have supported her all the way, cause she deserves better & can surely do better on her own than she is in her marriege.
That one was her choise though & still is even now, though it teers us apart seeing her hurting like this for 28 years now, raising us when our biological mum passed on in 1984, leaving 5kids behind. My step mum is amazing, she loves & treats us like her very own,
However we all are speaking a same language about my father, who treats all of us like trash & hurting our mum so badly (we're grown ups now, everything is clear unlike the former days when we were too little to understand) when she helped raising kids & putting up with a husbend that has never supported her in any way.
This one time last year when she was admitted in hospital due to heart attach that almost caused her stroke, I told her that "I've released her, she's done a great great job in mothering us, she must never expect anything from my father, not even a little thank you, her reward is with Christ Jesus for every effort" (little did I know that my other sisters & brothers said the same thing to her before I got her) it was as if we've planned.
We all are telling her that "we don't know what divorce it, neither do we believe in it, but really now what should it take for her to reliase that this life is not healthy for all of us especially her, cause she has to deal with our father on a daily base, at least with us... We're out of the house now, to our own places for peace of mind"
She carried on about the church (she's the lady paster since my father is the paster) & that God doesn't approve divorce"
The main question is "Does God approve her life style? Being abused daily & putting up a happy for the church's sake.... She didn't asnswer me, didn't put pressure on her cause she was in a very critical stage & believe me its not nice to advice your mum for divorce
Though it was either that or its pretty obvious that she won't live long if she's stressing like this, about an adalt who know exactly what he's up to. I told her that "I won't bear losing her to death, like I did with my mum. Life was very rough without her. I'd rather lose her to divorce & continue seeing her progressing for our younger sister's sake" (she only has one doughter to my father)
Believe me dear,,,, weman have every right to be choosy especially with our fellow brothers in Christ. I've had my share of abuse on a daily base (if only I could choose a father or family for that matter) would have made a weigh better chose & I tell her daily that she's not stuck with this situation like us. With us he's our father no matter what but with her its a lot different, she can walk away from this.
So marrieges are not as healthy as they may seem especially in the body of Christ.
Weman be as choosy & patient as it pleaes you to be.... That's my advice!!!
Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
Posted : 21 Jun, 2013 11:21 PM
If he's pastor and his home life is wretched, then she, you and your siblings should be calling him out on this, and in his own church no less. Frankly, if he can't fulfill his role as husband and father, he has no business leading a church!
Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
Posted : 22 Jun, 2013 12:29 AM
Believe me he's doing very well in he's ministry, I believe when God gives you a talent/ministry, He doesn't reposes when you not doing what you should, He's that kind of God that when He gives, He gives inspite......
Hense I was on your case guys about fellows who won't labor & earn, but excelling in doing community work, when failing to represent God in your small families.
Ladies are more than welcomed to be picky & choosy as it pleases them, cause todays' choises will affect your tomorrow when by then there's gonna be so much at steck when deciding to pull out (kids to be thought of when considering to divorce)
Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
Posted : 22 Jun, 2013 03:33 PM
Doesn't matter how well he's doing in ministry - he's leading a double life which I'm sure he wouldn't tolerate from anybody in his congregation. The size of the church is meaningless as a measure of success in God's eyes. Tell me straight - is he a hypocrite when he preaches on how husbands ought to treat their wives and family? If the answer is yes then why try to rationalise it?
Why are there so Many Marriageable Ladies Yet still Single?
Posted : 22 Jun, 2013 11:35 PM
Dkj255
"Tell me straight, is he a hypocrite when he preaches about how husbends' should treat their wives?"
I certainly think he is...
Cause he's behavior & sermons are totally different from what he reflacts at home.
Anyway I choose to fellowship else where since I would get very hurt & bitter hearing how he preaches & knowing how he treats us. I thought I'm better off listening to a nutral preacher whom I know nothing about concerning he's life condacts & how different is he from what he preaches,
That one seems to work for me cause i'm growing spiritually.
None of he's kids fellowship with him, others are not even saved, seeing such hypocrisy
Salvation has lost its value.
I too never thought i'll be saved one day.... Thank God I am!
