Author	Thread: dealing with feeling played! help!!
Admin	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 2 Jun, 2013 06:28 AM I spent the last 4 months seriously talking to a girl i met from Florida, we texted all the time, spent over 30 hours on skype, and many phone conversations, well a week ago we met for the first time. as she now has a job just over an hour from where i live. but after we met, she has basically disappeared, i have received only like 25 texts since then, and i realize that she is busy with the new job and stuff, but i know that it doesn't take more than 5 seconds to send a simple text or reply. she seems to be avoiding me but claims she isn't. and now i'm just feeling like i'm being played, what should i be doing and how can i approach this so that things have the chance of being resolved well? Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 2 Jun, 2013 08:11 AM good question, Well first thing is do not impose negitive motives on her. Is she a good woman? Then reinforce that she is. Try to relate with what she is going through. Women need their men to be strong and not react emotionally to them. Try relating in the fact that she is starting a new job. Ask her about her stress and fear in doing so and how this might make her feel in your relationship together. Let her know you are alright with giving her space that she can be her best in her new position. Invite her, invite her to spend time with you and invite her to check her calender to see if she can make time for you two to just talk about what is going on in your lives right now. But do not expect her to know because womens emotions are very strong and they often take time to relate with their own hearts. But the invitation will express to her your genuineness in wanting to relate with her and that will mean all the world to her. Even if she doesnt show it. Relate with her in your fellings but let her know that you do not expect your feelings to govern her decisions. She is a natural nurturer and she will naturally want to nurture you in your feelings if you are honest and transparent with her in a gentle way. These sort of conflict will determine if your relationship has what it needs to stand the long run. If and when you resolve your conflict you will feel even closer and in love. If and when you do not resolve it then your relationship is doomed. Either way praise to God in the Highest. Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 2 Jun, 2013 12:36 PM While i agree with you, on what should be done. however how can i do that without her talking to me. there is a lack of communication, sure i can send text messages, but if she doesn't reply how can things get resolved. I want this relationship to flourish, but i can't do it alone. In light of that, do you or anyone recommend that i just stop trying to communicate with her for a while? but that is hard because i'll be left in limbo for who knows how long. Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 2 Jun, 2013 03:33 PM Back off a little (go a week or so without contacting her) - if she misses you she'll let you know. If not, then there's your answer Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 2 Jun, 2013 04:46 PM Without knowing all the dynamics of your relationship I would say the same. Give her time and see if she comes to you. Post Reply
CuriousGeorge View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 2 Jun, 2013 08:06 PM me thinks she doeskin like how you look in person Post Reply
Lukia^ View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 3 Jun, 2013 01:17 AM Give her a break and wait for her to come to you since you have tried all you can.If she doesn't,don't force it on her.When you are in that break,pray about it if its the will of God you will get together but if its not you accept the outcome. I'm sorry for all this. All the praise and honor be to our Lord who knows us,and knows what is good for us more than anyone else. My best wishes to you. Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 3 Jun, 2013 04:45 AM So we fail to consider the male female relationship and the dynamics of a marriage vow. In a healthy male female relationship the man initiates and the lady responds, the man leads and the woman follows, the man maintains oneness and the women moves in oneness toward the man. Any realtionship prior to marriage is the proving ground. The foundation to see if that relationship is of God and can maintain the longrun. It should not be based in fear and isolation but honesty and friendship. The vow's we al hope to make one day will have to be a reality prior to actually speaking them before witnesses. If not one will not be able to maintain their vows after. It could be that she has some qualities you desire in a wife and helper but neither of you are actually ment for oneanother. If you are then you will not have to force anything. Love comes naturally with the right person. The success of love is the right combination of male and female personalities. I never thought I could find a woman who could and would follow me because I am a very srong personality. My stuburness is top of the scale. In time I found a woman equally as stuburn as me and our dynamics together are dynamite. What it took for me was to sift through thousands of Ladies over the course of years to finally find that rare gem that I could be sucessful in loving her and that she is able to receive and appreciate my love for her. We think every lady or man we encounter should be able to receive us if we are only loving enough. This is not the case. Their is probally nothing wrong with your love either only they can not receive it for some reason. So if this young lady does not move toward you then find someone who will because you do not want to chase after her and never receive the prize. The prize of genuine intimacy we are all desiring in being one with the opposite gender. Oneness begins with the emotions and spirit and that is the oneness that will maintain a life time. Peace be with you all dear children, Michael Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 4 Jun, 2013 02:48 AM Few things are more unattractive than when a guy can't take "no" for an answer, accuses a love interest when he's insecure, or otherwise freaks out when things don't go the way he wants them to. The way out of this is to stay calm, let go, back off, and focus on developing all the other areas of your life you need and/or want to like your Christian faith, your job, hobbies, etc. These will make you happier and give more peace of mind than waiting and worrying over messages that go unresponded. While you do those things, ignore her for 5-7 days starting now. Don't tell her what you're going to do, just do it. Then act as if you're starting over and ask if she would like to go on a date. I've found out the hard way that it's easy to let your emotions totally sc rew you on this if you listen to them thinking you're following your heart or whatever. Don't be so desperate and cling to her like a drowning person or you'll both sink. Cling to Jesus instead. Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 4 Jun, 2013 03:24 AM And the point of "ignoring" her is to be considerate of the fact that she's trying to learn a new job and adjust to a new city. Let her breathe a bit and get her bearings. Also, on second thought, you should probably show your support and offer some encouragement in a final message before you go incommunicado by saying you realized things are probably overwhelming at the moment and that you're not helping by being desperate so you'll just give her her space as she's adjusting. Wish her all the best, and that you of course look forward to her letting you know if/when she's ready to pick up where you left off. Whatever her response to that is, I think that would be better than just disappearing. Post Reply
View Profile History	dealing with feeling played! help!! Posted : 4 Jun, 2013 01:35 PM first of man, your off base with saying that i cant take no for an answer, i want to be told no, i can handle the communication, which is what she promised to do when we started talking... but just ignoring me is rude and immature on her part, and ya i'm just walking away, and if she decides to contact me then we can talk. but i don't believe that anyone should be treated like that! Post Reply