I'm new to this, so I've been wondering... after you've been messaging someone for a while and you've gotten to know them a little bit, do you ask them out on some kind of date, especially if they live far away? I mean, what do you do next.
In person, I'd ask them out on a date. I wouldn't want to make any decisions about where we're headed wihtout having gone on a few dates where I could really learn a lot more about them. Is there any equivalent of that for this online stuff, like a telephone call or instant messenger chat? I really can't see anything starting based on emails.
I know this is an older post, however thought i would share my thoughts on the matter.
Online v's offline is very different in many ways.
I find that it is hard to truly get to know a person online.
If you have been friends with someone online for some time and believe that it would be positive for things to go furthers, than my encouragement is to pray about it and patiently wait for God to give you the right direction.
I have seen internet started relationships work out, and have seen some fail also.
To truly know a person we need to spend time with them, that way we can see things that the net does not allow us to see.. for example: Sometimes people post fake or diluted profiles and make it really easy for someone to like them, when in fact they are not that person in real life.. this can be through what their profile says, or they say in messages, could come down to something as simple as the picture they posted, the location they state in their profile, their lifestyle, their beliefs etc.
I'm and not trying to say that most people are dishonest on sites alike this.. however the reality is that there are some dishonest people who utilize online services dishonestly (something patience and an open eye and heart can see usually)
My encouragement in the situation posted above would be to pray about it.. if you feel positive about moving forward with this person, then my encouragement would be to organise to visit them and spend some time with them in person... the reality is that if you did date someone via the internet you would want to visit them in the future anyway, hence my encouragement would be to do that before making any sort of commitment.
Saying that.. there is nothing wrong with letting a person know you are interested in them a little more than a friend via the internet.. it is just another form of communication.
However as for dating someone you only know via the internet (have never met) my encouragement is this. dating is the next level of friendship in the form of commitment towards that person, with you showing them through this commitment that you are there for them and know they are there for you, and many other things.. the reality though should be seen as dating is just the step forward to a long term relationship (marriage).
So many people date for many reasons.. some because they want to own a person (if you understand what i mean by that) some do it because they are lonely and just want to fill a void.. some people feel its abnormal to be single and the list goes on.
My encouragement when it comes to dating is to only take it to that level of commitment if you can truly see yourself marrying that person (and sure things may not go that far, however its the mindset i am referring to).
If you have spent some time in person with the other, and truly believe that the commitment of dating is a positive step, then there is nothing wrong with asking them out over the internet, over the phone, via text message etc... however saying that my encouragement again would be to be patient, sure you can let them know your feelings (this is encouraged) however to wait until you are face to face to make that commitment.
Patience is a hard reality for many to grasp in their lives, but it is one of the most important things we can own in our lives and live with.. it helps us to make the right decisions, it allows us to keep an open ear and heart when it comes to God's direction for our lives, and let's face it.. if there was more patience in this world, we would net be seeing alot of divorces, bad breaks ups, cheating, multiple dates within a year etc etc.
My encouragement comes primarily from 1Corinthians 13:4-7 and hope that this encouragement has made sense and has answered this question... if not then i am more than happy to reply more in detail via this message forum or via profile messages.
In regards to my long post.. the word "date" was reflected in regards to dating (boyfriend/girlfriend)..
In regards to casual get together dating to get to know a person better over dinners, bowling etc (which i kind of got off track from (sorry)) then my encouragement is along the same lines in regards to meeting them in person for those dates (a phone call, internet message etc can not be really classed as dating in that sense)
Sure it would be a positive step to have some phone conversations, but as my other post encourages.. to truly get to know a person you need to spend time (in their presence) with that person.
If you wanted to organise an offline meeting with this person then there is nothing wrong with organising it via message via the internet or the phone.
sorry for the 2nd post.. i read back over my original and realised that i missed part of your questions meaning and answer.
Hi my name is David Curtin and i am 21 years old. i have had my share of girlfriends and the key thing is not to let the distance be the reason you don't ask someone out because there is always someway to work it out. i would even say don't worry about how you are going to get to know this new girl you are interested in because in time you will get to know that girl whether it's from emails, yes emails or phone calls. the key thing is not to freak out because if you do they always seem to have a way of knowing. hope this helps you. Good Luck!.
