Author	Thread: Parents freaked out when I told them?
Admin	Parents freaked out when I told them? Posted : 8 Apr, 2013 07:12 AM I told my parents about my recent LDR. My mom freaked. She is furious with me for even considering talking to a guy from another state. My dad was calmer but still agrees with my mom. My ldr said they can do a background check on.him, I gave them his address and his church name. I even told them as much about him as possible. My mom said she's not mad at him and that she's sure he's a wonderful Christian man but the fact she doesn't know him and I've been keeping this from them for a while makes her upset. I know we belong together, we've never felt more of a spiritual and strong connection before. They're afraid I'll move away and I'm afraid they'll disown me if one day I considered it. I've asked them to think on it, and pray. My ldr even said that he knows where he lives isn't his home forever so maybe he won't live there his whole life. Please keep us in your prayers, I've never found a guy like him and I feel that God truly did bring us together but we may have to suffer through this. I'm 22 and hes 21. Post Reply
View Profile History	Parents freaked out when I told them? Posted : 8 Apr, 2013 10:58 PM Hi, Your parents must really care about you to be upset about this. I hope you do understand their concern. I am not a parent, but I would think one of the joys in parenting is being there for your child in their decision on who they will marry. The Bible teaches us that in the multitude of counsel there is safety Prov 11:14. Your parents concern is your safety; and not only your bodily safety, but your eternal security. As a parent in your case, you want to give your daughter away to a Godly man, one who you know will lead her safely to heaven and who will set Christ as their foundation. In a LDR, especially those started through the internet, it is difficult for a parent to have assurance of that. Your LDR I am sure has been reflecting a lot on what may have transpired, and it is admirable to see his willingness to take some action to give your parents some comfort, but there is a long road ahead. I would recommend to you and your LDR to seek the Lord for wisdom and ask for forgiveness to those you have committed offences against. Secondly begin to involve your parents and pastors in future decisions. Whatever may transpire put your trust in God that he has you and your LDR�s best interest in mind. May the Lord grant you guidance and comfort. PS. Perhaps a good read for you and your LDR is a book called �What He Must Be if he wants to marry my daughter� by Voddie Baucham. Will pray. Post Reply
View Profile History	Parents freaked out when I told them? Posted : 9 Apr, 2013 03:41 AM Welcome to being an adult. Only children hide where adults address the posibility of conflict. Your parents will have to adjust to your being an adult and on equal terms with them. Only you can claim the rights of being and adult and no longer a child. This means you will make some decisions they are not pleased with. You need to do this inorder to learn and find the wisdom of God also. Do you think they did not make some poor decisions when coming into adult hood. Not saying that your LDR is one. Good for you for being a adult I am proud to hear. Post Reply
Jewels133 View Profile History	Parents freaked out when I told them? Posted : 13 Apr, 2013 12:37 PM It sounds like your parents probably expected you to date someone in your local area, perhaps from your church. It's not unusual for parents to have this type of expectation. So they were obviously surprised by your long distance relationship. Many from their generation would never even think to consider such a thing because online dating wasn't even an option for them when they were young. They probably assume the worst...as many parents do when their child says something that shocks them. It may help to reassure them that they raised you to have good morals, common sense and a sense of respect for their opinions. But they probably also raised you to be independent, and think for yourself and have the ability to make responsible choices. At some point they are going to have to realize that you are not a child anymore and you don't need or require their absolute approval on every area of your life. My only advice is: Don't agree to anything permanent or serious with his man until you've spent a considerable amount of time with him face to face. Knowing someone online is not the same thing as knowing them in person. Post Reply
View Profile History	Parents freaked out when I told them? Posted : 14 Apr, 2013 05:12 AM Marriage is about unity. Most christians dont really undersatnd this. I didnt in the beginning. If I have I believe things would have tirned out different for my previous marriage. Headship is about maintaining unity. Regardless what popular thinking tells you this is the true meaning. If you are able to find a man who leads you into unity spiritually and relationally and you are able to follow him then you have found a relationship that will maintain the test of time. Unity requires communication and the surrender of self. The lack of these brings division. When we understand the practical root of martriage and the dynamics behind it then any relationship beytween men and woman is possible. Including one of distance. Allow your focus to be on the practical things of Godly relationship and when you do the fakes will fall by the way side and the true man of God will rise up. Remember Christ is one with God and we are one with Christ and God desires us to be one as a body. Unity is the sole focus of the gospel. Unity has to be the sole focus of a godly relationship. Post Reply