Thread: Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
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Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
Posted : 13 May, 2012 10:01 AM
The Lord has used my time away from physical intimacy to bring me into a deeper spiritual intimacy with Himself, as well as a greater understanding of what physical intimacy is for (2 me personally anyways).
Has anyone here ever felt unseen, unknown and therefore unloved within a relationship? Have you ever felt that you were not cherished, desired or special within a relationship?
I have personally felt this way before :/
And you know what God showed me?
That the way I'd "desired" to be seen, known and loved was the way HE'd desired for me to see, know and love HIM for a long, long time...
That the way I'd longed to be cherished, desired and seen as special was the way HE'd longed for me to see Him...and I never had.
Throughout my life, I had wanted, pleaded and prayed for God to give me something that all along I'd unknowingly withheld from Him. I had not viewed or treated the "Lord" the way I myself had wanted to be treated. And when He by His mercy opened my eyes to this realization, it broke my heart in a way it had never been broken before - in a beautiful way, and for the first time in my life, I began to follow my beloved Savior.
Something else,
By denying God my love / my spiritual intimacy in the past, I had unknowingly denied the ONLY thing about me that would ever be worth cherishing, desiring or special - Christ within me.
Over time, many of my personal longings (including my longings for physical intimacy) have changed - not diminished, just changed.
Instead of physical intimacy seeming so physical, the idea has evolved to a longing to know Christ in whatever way He chooses to make Himself known to me, whether through a spouse or through the obedience of a single life serving and finding my joy in Him. My focus has become Him.
Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
Posted : 14 May, 2012 01:06 PM
Shineme, GloryofGod,
Thank you both for your comments.
Self-control certainly is a fruit of the Spirit, produced as a result of our relationship with Christ.
I no longer believe it is something you can simply "try" to do.
Are there people with a great deal of self control who do not know Christ?
It seems as if there are.
But the strength of their self control lies within their flesh / sinful nature and therefore is to no avail.
"And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love (Christ within you), it profits me nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:3
Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
Posted : 16 May, 2012 04:22 AM
The saddest and hardest part of this is the resistance and even backlash you get from others, even within the Christian community, when they find out you've been (and choose to be) celebate until marriage. They speak of it as unrealistic and even further, questioning your ability to be intimate at all... that you must be a cold fish or that something is clearly wrong with you. It has shut down many a budding relationship.
Little do they know that, when intimacy is held with such high importance as to reserve it for only one, then it becomes all the more rich and blessed and exciting!
I think of it like eggnog. If you could have it every day, having eggnog at Christmas isn't anything special at all!
Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
Posted : 16 May, 2012 10:37 AM
TrustandBelieve,
More often than not people do this because a celibate Christian's life will shine convicting light upon a life being lived in sin. I will add that I understand someone struggling with sin who admits they're wrong, but someone who openly justifies their sin before others in the church should be kept at a distance as there is no basis for fellowship with an unrepentant heart.
"Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person." 1 Corinthians 5:13
Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
Posted : 22 May, 2012 10:03 AM
Mydreamtime33 your words ring very true, many times I have been guilt asking God for that special someone and I felt the need to prepare myself to be worthy of their affections and to be able to lend support. So I worked hard and tried my best to be a good person.
Then something happened, because of budget cuts I was let go from my job. It was a big blow to my ego that i didn't know was so huge. Because I thought what am I worth to a man who wants to marry me. I was so caught up in the "list" of what I should be and look like to a Christian man that I forsake spending time with God. When God brought that to my attention I was so so ashamed and I realized then my worth to my husband was not material but in my heart of surrender to God. My relationship with God is continuing to change as my focus has shifted to being the perfect bride for HIM. In living a life that the fruits of the spirit are evident, in living a life of worship and obedience, these things are priceless. The intimacy from cultivating this relationship with Him and learning more about His character is far more precious than anything I have or will ever encounter.
Now in terms of physical intimacy, it is a beautiful thing but because of sin man has turned it into something cheap and tawdry. To me it goes beyond just scratching an "itch" and pleasing yourself... but it speaks to me as a spiritual thing between a husband and a wife and it is spiritual or we would not have anything called soul ties if it didn't. It's hard to keep yourself but God never gives us more than we can handle and the bible is there to renew our minds to focus on that which is important and to take your eyes off what is not because if you are unmarried physical intimacy should not be in our vocabulary. It's better not to even entertain the thought because it pushes that door a bit more open.
Dealing With Your Desires For Physical Intimcay...
Posted : 22 May, 2012 10:04 AM
Mydreamtime33 your words ring very true, many times I have been guilt asking God for that special someone and I felt the need to prepare myself to be worthy of their affections and to be able to lend support. So I worked hard and tried my best to be a good person.
Then something happened, because of budget cuts I was let go from my job. It was a big blow to my ego that i didn't know was so huge. Because I thought what am I worth to a man who wants to marry me. I was so caught up in the "list" of what I should be and look like to a Christian man that I forsake spending time with God. When God brought that to my attention I was so so ashamed and I realized then my worth to my husband was not material but in my heart of surrender to God. My relationship with God is continuing to change as my focus has shifted to being the perfect bride for HIM. In living a life that the fruits of the spirit are evident, in living a life of worship and obedience, these things are priceless. The intimacy from cultivating this relationship with Him and learning more about His character is far more precious than anything I have or will ever encounter.
Now in terms of physical intimacy, it is a beautiful thing but because of sin man has turned it into something cheap and tawdry. To me it goes beyond just scratching an "itch" and pleasing yourself... but it speaks to me as a spiritual thing between a husband and a wife and it is spiritual or we would not have anything called soul ties if it didn't. It's hard to keep yourself but God never gives us more than we can handle and the bible is there to renew our minds to focus on that which is important and to take your eyes off what is not because if you are unmarried physical intimacy should not be in our vocabulary. It's better not to even entertain the thought because it pushes that door a bit more open.
