Thread: Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
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Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 20 Feb, 2012 04:12 AM
I am writing this after a lot of searching of the scriptures and my own soul and experience for an answer.
The outcome is this and I have not come to this easily but have to be totally honest or will not have a good conscience or any hope: there is only one reason given in the New Testament to get married and that is to have sex; the scripture for this is that "it is better to marry than to burn". All the other scriptures about marriage are to do with how to act as a married person after marriage such as the Christian marriage being one that reflects the marriage of Christ to his bride the Church. There are many others including remarks made about the conduct of a man to his wife and children or instructions for the younger widows to remarry. there are none encouraging any to divorce and some encouraging all not to divorce and that is all I can say on the matter of divorce as my intention is not to start an issue about divorce here but rather of the one and only reason given in the New Testament to get married and that is to have the sex that is prohibited out of the marriage bed so as to escape fornication which is doing or having sexual relations outside of marriage.
I am a person who was deceived into thinking that to get married because of a weakness for sexual gratification is wrong. I was deceived and by someone I respected so did not question it as I should I was totally fooled by the total conviction of this young mans tone and obvious belief in what he was saying, he deceived me, I was duped and it has caused unrelenting pain in my life and left me a very lonely person because I really thought I needed to overcome this weakness before I was any sort of proper and real Christian. this sort of thinking is a total and utter deception because the teaching of the Apostles was that it was proper for anyone to have such a weakness and the answer was to get married and not try to overcome it.
I have been through a lot while learning this and believe it or not I have only just come to this knowledge and conviction very recently after 27 years or so since that young man said that to me. But he was wrong and it has caused me to be a serial user of woman in the form of using them for the sole purpose of communication: I can get everything I need from a relationship without marriage but for one thing I cannot get or have sex unless I marry one woman. So I aim to get married so that I can have a certified bed pal as the Bible teaches. Of course I lots of other favorable and not so favorable blessings along the way and a companion for life along with the intimacy of friendship that sex provides and is given to provide by the inventor of sex: the living God who created all things.
First though i must apologize for using woman for the sole purpose of communicating: I was not really intending to use you but I did. I now trust what is inside me that God has put there and just think that though i wanted to serve him and didn't want the distraction of a mate it was wrong to do that and he simply has not put his grace in my life to be single. I accept that I should get married for to have sex and encourage anyone who has had the same problematic thinking as I had to do the same just be strong and courageous and the lord will strengthen your heart as you step forward and do this.
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 20 Feb, 2012 05:14 AM
I have heard this advice as well, that I shouldn�t marry someone unless I can control my desires. I can understand someone who has a serious problem such as a �sex addiction�, since getting married won�t solve that problem. But, there is nothing wrong with getting married to satisfy one�s sexual desire, so long as it is not the ONLY reason for getting married.
1 Timothy 4:1-5 (NASB)
1 But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons,
2 by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
3 men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.
4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude;
5 for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.
1 Timothy 5:14 (KJV)
14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Corinthians 7:25-28 (NASB)
25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.
26 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 20 Feb, 2012 06:41 AM
Watchful, I am confused as to how you "used" women for communication? Or am I missing the boat here? Do you mean you led women on, making them think you wanted a permanent relationship when you weren't ready?
How can we know if we want any type of relationship unless we first communicate with each other?
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 22 Feb, 2012 01:31 PM
Cobbler, I thought the whole point the OP was making was that sex is the only reason the new testament gives for marriage. Now of course we know that married mum & dad is best for bringing kids up, but as it requires sex before kids arrive, they are not per se the reason to marry, no?
The OP sounds like he's in the same position as me: perfectly fine and happy being single except for the restriction on sex. Of course, I wouldn't dream of taking a wife just to use her body, I'm well aware she's as much a person in her own right apart from me and I'd want to honour that. But I have to be honest, that is the main reason for me over and above (for the moment at least) companionship and the other benefits. I fully expect that attitude will change as I age (and my libido wanes), but when I'm still single at that time I think my desire to marry will be much less.
Anyway, now I've committed dating suicide by being honest, I may as well close my account: I don't imagine any woman would want to be with someone who's main reason for marriage (at least initially) is to avoid fornication...
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 22 Feb, 2012 02:15 PM
Don�t worry djk, the fact that you desire to be married in and of itself is enough to scare women away, much less your reason why. The only reason why a woman will go out on a date with someone is if you �just want to be friends�. If you actually want to be married, then that is a sign that you are desperate and therefore something is wrong with you.
Actually, the first and original reason for being married is so that you will not be alone.
Genesis 2:18 (NASB)
18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
But the common wisdom today is that is you are not happy being alone, then you are not good enough for marriage. That�s nothing but lies from Satan.
The verse that the OP is referring to is 1 Corinthians 7:9 (NASB)
9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Paul taught that we should refrain from marriage because it distracts us from being able to spend time serving the Lord. But, the idea that we should remain single was more Paul�s idea than it is God�s.
My last comment is this. There is no ONE overriding reason for getting married. Marriage is complex, and there are many good reasons to be married. We should stop trying to turn marriage into rocket science.
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 27 Feb, 2012 08:42 AM
@OP: I think you are right. We actually had a sermon on this (1 Cor 7 I presume) and just to add, it's ok to be single despite what some churches think and it's ok to be married despite what some churches think. Being single and being married are both skills and in both we should be seeking to make God #1. I fully and completely believe that if you desire to get married, then God will provide you a spouse and let it naturally develope in time as we seek to follow Him. I think a lot of people need to realize and understand that last part.
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 8 Mar, 2012 01:07 PM
"The only reason why a woman will go out on a date with someone is if you 'just want to be friends.'"
Speaking for many women, this statement is categorically false!
I want to date to eventually get married!! I have enough friends. . . I want to get married because I want to be intimate with a man. . . God designed us to want sex, and there is nothing wrong with the desire. He created marriage so that we could experience sex in the most fulfilling way possible.
In my experience, it seems like every time I mention marriage, it scares guys away. . .
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 7 Mar, 2013 06:34 AM
From the practical side, I can tell you that I married twice for this scriptural reason and had an AWESOME, "til death do us part" marriage both times.
Naturally, you should not be "unequally yoked" and the person that you marry should be your best friend; but, we have lots of friends......that doesn't mean that they are good marriage choices. Also, there is a difference between "lust" and "love" and marriage should be for love.....to a person for whom you burn with desire.
And so, here I am, "Looking to find a friend and a lover. God bless the day I discover, another heart, looking for love."
Only reason given in the New Testament to get married
Posted : 12 Jul, 2013 03:15 PM
IMHO. Although there are many reasons to get married in the new testament for the 'first time', conversely, there are many 'not to remarry'. 'Personally', I find, followers must act responsibly and cautiously not to take a single verse, or even partial verses, out of context, nor attach fleshly justifications (conjecture) to them, like so many of us Christians do today; justifying 'our' propensity to be deceived and disobedient. Kind of reminds me of the Pharisees of the day justifying a means to an end, (Matt 23:13-37; 13 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!...
NIV.
That being said, I'd like to take the liberty to reference some scriptures 'I' don't want, nor like, to recognize in context nor at face value. I have been married twice; second time around with a divorced 'Christian' women. The short version...what a huge mistake in spite of the Lord speaking to me against it and knowing the verses I'm about to reference! Although redundant, I'll use several different version for clarities sake and to defuse the 'version difference' argument; I've also included the Young's literal translation. BTW, these are all New Testament passages spoken by Jesus himself. So, as they say, 'please don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player' (actually, guitar player in this case). ha, ha, ha.
Matt 5:31-37
31 It has also been said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.
32 But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. [Deut 24:1-4.]
(I continued this because I personally see marriage vows as just that... vows/oath)
33 Again, you have heard that it was said to the men of old, You shall not swear falsely, but you shall perform your oaths to the Lord [as a religious duty].
34 But I tell you, Do not bind yourselves by an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is the throne of God;
35 Or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. [Ps 48:2; Isa 66:1.]
36 And do not swear by your head, for you are not able to make a single hair white or black.
37 Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one.
AMP
Matt 19:3-12
3 And Pharisees came to Him and put Him to the test by asking, Is it lawful and right to dismiss and repudiate and divorce one's wife for any and every cause?
4 He replied, Have you never read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? [Gen 1:27; 2:24.]
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).
7 They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife? [Deut 24:1-4.]
8 He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained].
9 I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for un-chastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
10 The disciples said to Him, If the case of a man with his wife is like this, it is neither profitable nor advisable to marry.
11 But He said to them, Not all men can accept this saying, but it is for those to whom [the capacity to receive] it has been given.
12 For there are eunuchs who have been born incapable of marriage; and there are eunuchs who have been made so by men; and there are eunuchs who have made themselves incapable of marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let him who is able to accept this accept it. AMP
Matt 5:27-37
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; 28 but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29 "And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 "And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell. 31 "And it was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of un-chastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.NASB
(I continued this because I personally see marriage vows as just that... vows/oath)
33 "Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, 'You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.'34 "But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 "Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; and anything beyond these is of evil.
NASB
Matt 19:3-13
3 And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?" 4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 "Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." 7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." 10 The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry." 11 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it." NASB
Mark 10:2-12
2 And some Pharisees came up to Him, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. 3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" 4 And they said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5 But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 "But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. 7 "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, 8 and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." 10 And in the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. 11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."
NASB
Matt 5:31-37
31 "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
(I continued this because I personally see marriage vows as just that... vows/oath)
33 "Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.' 34 But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35 nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
NKJV
Matt 19:3-10
3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"
4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
10 His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
NKJV
Mark 10:2-12
2 The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.
3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"
4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."
5 And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
NKJV
Matt 5:31-37
31 "Remember the Scripture that says, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him do it legally, giving her divorce papers and her legal rights'? 32 Too many of you are using that as a cover for selfishness and whim, pretending to be righteous just because you are 'legal.' Please, no more pretending. If you divorce your wife, you're responsible for making her an adulteress (unless she has already made herself that by sexual promiscuity). And if you marry such a divorced adulteress, you're automatically an adulterer yourself. You can't use legal cover to mask a moral failure.
(I continued this because I personally see marriage vows as just that... vows/oath)
33 "And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. 34-36 You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. 37 Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.
(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language � 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)
Matt 19:3-12
3 One day the Pharisees were badgering him: "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"
4 He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? 5 And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh � no longer two bodies but one. 6 Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."
7 They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?"
8 Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. 9 I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery."
10 Jesus' disciples objected, "If those are the terms of marriage, we're stuck. Why get married?"
11 But Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone. 12 Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked � or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it."
(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language � 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)
Mark 10:1-12
10 From there he went to the area of Judea across the Jordan. A crowd of people, as was so often the case, went along, and he, as he so often did, taught them. 2 Pharisees came up, intending to give him a hard time. They asked, "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife?"
3 Jesus said, "What did Moses command?"
4 They answered, "Moses gave permission to fill out a certificate of dismissal and divorce her."
5 Jesus said, "Moses wrote this command only as a concession to your hardhearted ways. 6 In the original creation, God made male and female to be together. 7 Because of this, a man leaves father and mother, and in marriage 8 he becomes one flesh with a woman � no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity. 9 Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."
10 When they were back home, the disciples brought it up again. 11 Jesus gave it to them straight: "A man who divorces his wife so he can marry someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And a woman who divorces her husband so she can marry someone else commits adultery."
(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language � 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)
Matt 5:31-37
31 'And it was said, That whoever may put away his wife, let him give to her a writing of divorce;
32 but I � I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife, save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her who hath been put away doth commit adultery.
(I continued this because I personally see marriage vows as just that... vows/oath)
33 'Again, ye heard that it was said to the ancients: Thou shalt not swear falsely, but thou shalt pay to the Lord thine oaths;
34 but I � I say to you, not to swear at all; neither by the heaven, because it is the throne of God,
35 nor by the earth, because it is His footstool, nor by Jerusalem, because it is a city of a great king,
36 nor by thy head mayest thou swear, because thou art not able one hair to make white or black;
37 but let your word be, Yes, Yes, No, No, and that which is more than these is of the evil.
YLT
Matt 19:7-12
7 They say to him, 'Why then did Moses command to give a roll of divorce, and to put her away?'
8 He saith to them � 'Moses for your stiffness of heart did suffer you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it hath not been so.
9 'And I say to you, that, whoever may put away his wife, if not for whoredom, and may marry another, doth commit adultery; and he who did marry her that hath been put away, doth commit adultery.'
10 His disciples say to him, 'If the case of the man with the woman is so, it is not good to marry.'
11 And he said to them, 'All do not receive this word, but those to whom it hath been given;
12 for there are eunuchs who from the mother's womb were so born; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who kept themselves eunuchs because of the reign of the heavens: he who is able to receive [it] � let him receive.'
YLT
Mark 10:4-12
4 and they said, 'Moses suffered to write a bill of divorce, and to put away.'
5 And Jesus answering said to them, 'For the stiffness of your heart he wrote you this command,
6 but from the beginning of the creation, a male and a female God did make them;
7 on this account shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife,
8 and they shall be � the two � for one flesh; so that they are no more two, but one flesh;
9 what therefore God did join together, let not man put asunder.'
10 And in the house again his disciples of the same thing questioned him,
11 and he saith to them, 'Whoever may put away his wife, and may marry another, doth commit adultery against her;
12 and if a woman may put away her husband, and is married to another, she committeth adultery.'
YLT
I really don't want to argue about this since I didn't say it...speak with original author if you must; but, on the other hand, I would be delighted to discussing it with anyone.
