Author	Thread: Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude
Admin	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 24 Jan, 2012 11:50 PM Like dating, there are a million +1 tips and advice and attitudes it seems everybody and their mother have when it comes golf. Last week I got caught up watching the golf channel for the first time, learned some neat new tips, and just couldn't wait to get out there and see my amazing new and improved game now armed with this new knowledge. Then the complete opposite happened. Got really mad and really frustrated. Finally I realized that in focusing so much on the more finer and advanced aspects I had completely abandoned the basics and what worked for me that made me a reletively decent golfer in the first place (as in I rarely lose my ball only every 9 holes or so and never get more than quadruple bogy type of reletively decent). Fortunately I was able to get back to the point where I just had to clear my mind of all that and not worry or care where the ball landed. Which sounds ludicrous especially to me. But, the less I worry the better i do and the more fun I have (and the funner I am to be around), but sooner or later it's so tempting to either think of that as being foolish and careless or 'If I do this well without thinking, just imagine how good I'd do if I was thinking and focusing' type mentality. The problem with that is when you do this, your thoughts and focus are on the next shot that will not happen, because you're not on the one you are taking now. Subconciously it's also like you're thinking that if you don't hit it just right on this shot everything will be messed up rather than knowing that it doesn't matter where your next shot will end up because you're confident that you'll hit that one well too. Anyway, I just thought that was cool and wanted to share since the same seems to be true with dating too in that the more we worry and are frustrated the less successful, and less fun, and less fun to be around we will be. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 28 Jan, 2012 12:24 AM I'd done so much hw my brains where leaking out my ears when I wrote this btw. Apologies :rolleyes: Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 28 Jan, 2012 07:44 AM Your post made sense to me. I've not had much luck with dating in the past, and it seems like everyone is willing to give me advice, tips, suggestions, etc. to improve my future dating. It is usually things like, "Don't add someone on FB if you want to date him. Never tell a guy that you still live at home. Be mysterious. Never be mysterious. Tell a guy everything there is about yourself right off. Withhold info about yourself until he deserves to know. Don't volunteer info about yourself. Don't admit that you've only dated one person. Don't ask too many questions. Ask a lot of questions. Online dating is wrong. Online dating rocks! Write your profile this way. No, this way." Yeah, contradictory advice is common, it would seem! You know what? Even when applying those bits of advice, my dating life still didn't improve. In fact, it got downright stressful trying to always do what someone else said was "right." So I simply quit trying so hard, and started doing things MY way. I re-activated my account on another free site, joined a paid site just to compare it with the free ones, and re-wrote my profile on here. My next step was to contact a few of the guys who looked interesting. Then, I sat back and waited. I didn't expect anything different to happen, and I was almost at the point to where I didn't care. Then the communication started rolling in on all three sites...and not only from the guys I'd contacted. Sure, some of them are still what I would call "duds" and I just tell them I'm not interested, but some of the guys really do have a lot of potential. Who knows if anything will actually come of all this communication, but at least my inbox isn't lonely anymore! Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 28 Jan, 2012 07:46 AM Perhaps I should also mention that I started this new tactic back in early December...and the communication hasn't slowed at all since then! Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 29 Jan, 2012 09:46 PM Yes, being relaxed will help out with dating, but you stated that you focused on the basics. What do you do when you don�t even understand the basics of dating? There are plenty of us out there who don�t understand. You don�t gain confidence by constantly trying and failing, sooner or later you have to have a few successful dates to gain some confidence. Many of us don�t even understand what we did wrong, so we don�t know what to do the next time. It�s one thing to learn from your mistakes, it�s another to make mistakes and not know it. This is why I feel that I would always give someone a second chance if the first date didn�t go very well. Maybe the next time they will feel a little more relaxed. Not everyone can do well the first time out, especially when you don�t get a chance to get to know them outside of �dating�. But, so many people will only give you one chance for a good impression. It�s really easy to say that the answer for everyone is to �just relax� and �be yourself� when you are good at it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 29 Jan, 2012 10:03 PM A better way to say "refocusing on the basics" would be "doing what worked for me". So just do that. Focus on and find what works for you rather than focusing on the rules since they do not always necessarily equate to working anyway. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 30 Jan, 2012 07:23 AM So what do you do if you have tried dating for over a decade and nothing seems to work? You can't do what works if nothing has ever worked for you. Your advice is great for those who have figured it out, but for those of us who don't have a clue, we are still completely lost. I'm not trying to say that your advice is invalid, I'm just saying that it doesn't work for everyone. There are those of us who actually do need help. Unfortunately, as BC has pointed out, we get so much contradictory advice, it's impossible to understand what to do. The only true way to help is for people to be honest with each other, and not give the stupid answer of, �There is nothing wrong with you, it�s just me.� There are answers out there for people like me, but for someone to really help me it would take INVOLVEMENT, not just throwing advice at me. I just get so frustrated when people tell me to just go out and beat my head against the wall until something just magically happens. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 30 Jan, 2012 11:26 PM Well one thing I notice, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you get frustrated and worried when you can't meet or be in a relationship with a woman, and you can't meet or be in a relationship with a woman if you're frustrated. So you gotta find a way to break that cycle, jes? Assuming that's true, focus on or find the things you like to do on your own that make you happy and build from there and find a way to meet women and friends in general just through that. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 31 Jan, 2012 07:23 AM That is another "platitude" that doesn't work either. I have focused on things I enjoy doing, but I never meet anyone because no one is ever around. The things I enjoy, like photography and history, are things that you do alone. There aren't very many churches that run photography or history clubs, and I would be extremly unlikely to run into a christian person in those groups. I have tried all that stupid advice, it never works. The one thing I do want to correct is what came first, the failure or the frustration. I didn't start out frustrated and failed because of that. I have become frustrated because all I have ever ever done is failed, and I don't understand why. You say I need to brake the cycle, no @$#! Sherlock! I know I have to break the cycle, but I don't know how to do it. I can't break it on my own, and no one will help me. And it's not going to change by me simply "relaxing". That only works if you actually know what you are doing in the first place. All this advice always comes down to the same thing: Go away and figure it out on your own, I don't want to have anything to do with it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 31 Jan, 2012 01:24 PM All this advice always comes down to the same thing: Go away and figure it out on your own, I don't want to have anything to do with it. ^Probably because after a while of hearing you tell them everything they say and come up with is wrong, stupid, and not good enough they start thinking 'Well, if there is someone that can figure it out for you, then apperently it ain't me.' and they think of more important things to do like hw and making money to pay the bills. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nothing Like A Good Rambling Golfing Platitude Posted : 31 Jan, 2012 01:28 PM Or golfing. Post Reply

First

Page : 1 2

Next  3 >>

Last