Author	Thread: Taken in Again
Admin	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 10:49 AM Any advice for a widower who keeps getting led down blind alleys by women, then having the old "Oh I'm going on a date tonight"! bomb dropped on you? I'm still healing from the loss of my soul mate and am FOOLISHLY thinking I could have another person in my life. My problem is I don't have enough street smarts about women. The old gullible heart keeps getting game-played with. Thanks ~ Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 12:18 PM I thought this was an active forum. My apologies. Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 02:07 PM Yeah don't bother with them. Women will do things like that to rattle your cage or get a rise and once you realize she's that type drop her like a bad habit and find some one else. Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 02:10 PM Oh yeah, and laugh it off. Make jokes, don't take it or her seriously. It's good for moving on instead of eating sour grapes for an undefined period of time till you FEEL like moving on. People don't feel like moving on when they're dying of hypothermia either, but they need to. Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 03:05 PM Sounds good. That's what I will do! All the best- Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 03:23 PM Also it's not because you're old or haven't dated in a while, nobody realizes they're talking with that kind of person till after the fact. Not really any outward sign or anything. I should also say only a few women are like this. Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 27 Dec, 2011 04:11 PM Hi, Well I for one, stink at dating. Alot of people I know, don't know how to do it. I don't really think there is a "correct way of dating." Because you have to realize everyone is different, everyone has different views on dating, etc. After my divorce I was quick to date whoever would date me. I would be talking to one guy, and go on a date with another. I was in pain from my divorce, and in selfish mode. I finally had to take a break from dating. To see what I wanted, and how to treat people better. Also learn dating boundaries. Now I am back, and after reading alot of christian dating books, talking to alot of my friends. I still am clueless. We have half of the room that says wait on God, he will give you the man of your dreams, when hes ready. And then the other half, go out and get what they want. So I don't know. Im kinda in the middle. I try and try to put God first, and wait. But then I get impatient, and try to find a date. But then the date doesn't end up to be what I want or need. So really I would go with God's plan. Ok sorry for getting off topic, as for you. I would say, stick with women your age. And just be real with the woman. Ask her questions. If you get that she is not serious about you, or talking to alot of other guys, or dating a bunch of guys. Then kindly tell her goodbye, and go on your way. I know it's hard to be lonely. But you want someone that is gonna have your attention. But I also think the major problem is the long distance thing. If she is out of state. Some woman, think they can talk to alot of guys, because they are all from different states, and they don't really think they will ever meet them. They just like the attention. Well I hope the best for you. IF you like to read you should google some books on the topic and maybe borrow them from the library or something. There is a book I absolutely love, called Undressed. Truth about dating love and sex. Its a christian based book. Its really good. Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 28 Dec, 2011 05:14 AM Dear brother, Getting back into the dating world is a real shocker. It is so NOT what it used to be. The 'blind alley' thing goes both ways, with the men doing the leading as well, unfortunately. The last post made a lot of sense. As well, you need to be okay with a new set of boundaries, some of which you will draw yourself, some of which society has collectively decided are appropriate. There are basically different stages of "dating". Talking is not dating... even if you really hit it off! Going out for a few meals/activities is going on dates, but not "dating" or "going steady" as we used to say. These are basically test drives to get to see the real person. The less formal the date, the closer you get to see the heart of the person ... and the more vulnerable you are to liking them without it being reciprocated. Or vice versa. It is not until you both have discussed and agreed that you are "exclusively seeing each other" (being pinned :rolleyes:) that one should expect that they will not be going on a date with anyone else. But both should be up front and honest from early on if these are your agreed upon boundaries. You are so blessed to have had a Soul Mate. Many of us never experience that kind of love. But statistics say, if you have been there once you are likely to experience it again. Just don't be ready to pin that title on anyone, no matter how attracted you are to them, until she feels it is mutual. :yay: Give it all to Jesus. Blessings Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 28 Dec, 2011 07:28 AM Thanks so much, guys. I will re read all of the advice, maybe print it off. I'm sick with sinus problems and am not up to even answering a phone, much less dating now. Thanks for your prayers I can be got well, because I can't tolerate antibiotics. They make me sick as a horse. God bless and thanks again - Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 2 Jan, 2012 05:31 PM Feeling some better after one rough week. I saw a trend here. Holidays brought ladies from everywhere, viewing, messaging. Now no more holidays, all of it has dropped back to normal again. Guess I'll hang on my main site, Christian Mingle. Looking in from time to time here... God bless all Post Reply
View Profile History	Taken in Again Posted : 4 Jan, 2012 04:38 PM Guess they all thought I resembled Santa Claus.:ROFL: Post Reply