Thought I'd turn this around a little and instead of asking for advice I thought I would offer some.
First a little background (story). I will try to be brief and just hit the highlights.
I met someone on this site last summer and we ended up meeting in person last November when I drove out there, that meeting went really well, so we arranged another time together and again I drove out. After this meeting however I was told we should just be friends. This hit pretty hard because I didn't get why, didn't get what I did wrong, and wasn't getting any real answers. The more I tried to find out the more closed off things got. So instead of pushing, and prying I stepped back gave her space, and focused on my relationship with God, and through that I found contentment with whatever God had in store, whether it meant we'd end up back together someday, only be friends, or drift apart. once I was able to accept what happened even if I didn't know why, but was able be content that allowed me to continue to stay in contact but as a friend, and be there to encourage her spiritually. I was open to giving her another chance but I wanted to allow her to bring it up. Well around Sept/Oct she did bring it up by asking if I might still have feelings for her. That opened the door and helped get the ball rolling, and as a result she wanted to come visit and see me we would see how that went and go from there. Well as you can see from my profile, that weekend together went really well. Last Thursday I called her up and we made it official that we are now in a relationship. We are both happy, and I believe is one that will allow us both to grow spiritually. I feel we are closer now then we ever were.
Ok background story out of the way, and I don't post this to make others feel lonely, but rather I post this to encourage those out there still looking. We met on this site. What I want to give is some advice that I can share from this experience and would like to share.
1. Patience - first and foremost. Patience is a big key. Having been single most of my life and at 34, I know I had begun to wonder will it ever happen for me will I ever find someone? Seeing most of my younger friends walk down the isle or are in relationships well on their way to marriage. The temptation to get in a hurry and allow our desire for a marriage to make want to hurry the process, to where we imagine there is potential even if in reality it is only attraction, infatuation, or even lust. God sometimes makes wait for blessings in his timing according to his will. Keep your trust in God and his will for you.
2. Seek God's grace to show love even when it's not always reciprocated, God loved us when we were not lovable and were enemies of his. No matter how a relationship dissolves and how we feel about that, pray for the grace to continue to show love to that person especially between Christians. I have had situations where I didn't handle things in love and that friendship was destroyed. Even if a relationship doesn't work out they are still a brother or sister in Christ and we should show them love and respect as brothers and sisters in Christ.
3. Sometimes things come back around. Six months ago if you told me we'd be back together, I'd not have believed you. It didn't look promising, and even friendship seemed strained. But sometimes split ups happen because God knows we aren't ready yet or need to grow in some areas before a relationship can work. So a split up doesn't always mean forever. The situation, the timing, or whatever just might not be right. Which goes back to the second point. How you respond to a break up can show Christlike character and love that may open the door down the road. And may allow you to have a lasting friendship.
Hi! I was so touch by your message and being a Christian women who is still looking for my future husband it made me realize to give everything to God and be patient in HIS will for each one of us. Thank you for the inspiring words you wrote.
I was very happy for the both of you...thanks for sharing those wonderful love story of yours.. It really serves as an inspiration for all of us here...Thanks a lot...God bless!!!
@hoosiermike: congratulations to both of you. I can imagine what happened to you and your gf. I can actually relate to that. I am in a situation before wherein things happen in similar. Patience and dedication is really the key. Now, we are back together and in love... :)
you are all welcome, and I'm glad to share it not just because it turned out like it did, but that God taught me so much through this that I felt compelled to share and hopefully give encouragement to others. God does sometimes give us what we went but not in the way or the timing that we would have chosen ourselves. It reminds us of our dependence on him.
glad to hear you and your guy are back to together rhead81 that too is an encouragement to others. I would bet just like in my case you appreciate each other far more now than you did before, and I would also guess that you are closer now, and have seen other improvements. Sometimes trials like this bring two people together stronger than they otherwise would have been. I believe God designed us that way. I'm sure our relationship will not be 100% smooth sailing from here on out but will face those trials together.
