Author	Thread: Is distance a problem?
jehovajira5185 View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 20 Oct, 2011 01:12 PM Well there are benefits and disadvantages of distance in a relationship. With distance involved you get to know one another on a more personal level, there is less less distractions, ability to get to know more about that person than you might in person, usually a little easier to talk about certain issues, without getting embarrassed, or feeling uncomfortable, Mainly talking from a woman's perspective on those two. The disadvantages being, not knowing about physical attraction, not seeing how that person really acts, not seeing how they interact with others, easy to hide behind a computer or the phone, the way someone acts in person is a true indicator of their character, mannerism and body language are hard to read over the internet or phone. My idea of a relationship before marriage is courting, dating is not biblical, getting to know someone in a courtship, looking for the compatibility of marriage is biblical, then being engaged, then marriage. Knowing someone for a while is the key that I have learned recently, saving certain things for marriage as well, not just abstinence, but marriage like emotions, and attraction, that you get when you claim to be "Boyfriend and Girlfriend". Hope you are getting my point? It is very important to meet before you consider starting a courtship. As for how I would make it work, I would rely on faith, trust, honesty, and communication. Nothing is possible without the Lord being the main focus of the relationship. Also His will playing a big part in it. Prayer! Prayer plays a big role, also seeking council about it, meeting family. Being grounded in the Word of God. Having respect for one another! Equality! Healthy pace! I do not put time frames on a relationship, just must be God's will.And if it is meant to be, love transcends all distance. Every relationship is different, if you want it to work, you have to make it work. I have had long distance relationships and close ones, none of them worked, was not the distance, was other factors. I have heard that saying, but i have seen them work, I've known married couples to be away from one another for lengthy times, in mission fields, comes back to love transcends distance. Courtships don't fail, you succeed every time, and you are still friends, no matter what, you realize you were not compatible for marriage, or you realize you are. I am not looking for a "girlfriend" I am looking for my future wife, mother of my children, my best friend, and the woman I love! Just friends until that point, with an agreement to stay true to one another and give it a try, I do not want a convenient relationship, i want a lasting relationship, LIFE LASTING RELATIONSHIP. 1,399 miles was the longest distance relationship i have ever had California to Alaska. My last courtship was 987 miles, we are still friends, it succeeded we found we were not compatible, you find out quicker in courtships as opposed to Boyfriend/Girlfriend wordly dating relationships, and you do not hurt each other as much either when it does not work. I had a courtship with this girl in Phoenix, 6 months ago, went to meet her, we were not compatible but was not the distance. So my answer to my own question is we would make it work, if that's what we wanted, and ultimately, was what God wanted, He knows us He knows what we need, he will open the door or He will close it, He is not the author of confusion, satan is and he has his hands in worldly relationships. Don't want him to have any part in mine! In Jesus' name! It's all about God's timing! It's all about His will! I am willing to wait however long to find that person, I'm not desperate for that, I need God, He is my first true love, He is my everything. I do not care if the one he has in store for me is on the other side of the planet! I have faith that he has the perfect person in store for me, better than anyone i could ever find on my own, He will let it be known who that one is, all in His timing. Same goes for you! You will all find that person someday! Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Have faith my brothers and sisters! Post Reply
View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 20 Oct, 2011 02:35 PM My idea of a relationship before marriage is courting, dating is not biblical, getting to know someone in a courtship, looking for the compatibility of marriage is biblical, then being engaged, then marriage.:applause: Distance is not a problem for many Christians. If it is a relationship the truly want to persue. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 20 Oct, 2011 06:20 PM I find that for me distance is an issue. I work and go to school all at once. so I do not have a lot of free time. I am content to wait on the Lord at this time though. If something/someone takes too much time away from school and work, then I probably will not pursue it. That is my choice for now. Post Reply
annma View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 25 Oct, 2011 06:46 AM Hello there, Distance is not a problem for me as regards to my relationship. it never was and i always kept an open mind on relationships and i have to say all the close relationships i had didnt work out and then i met my fiance and everything changed for me... We live millions of miles apart on different continents that is, but we are celebrating a year of our relationship and a 2weeks engagement...Like you said we courted and were very honest with each other about what we wanted in a spouse...and yes it is very true that long distance relationships require trust, honesty and communication...but above all God's hand has to be at work in the relationship...To build our relationship, we focused on the Lord for the initial stages of our relationship...not that we have stopped, we still do bible study as before when we had just met...and we were honest with each other from the start...and trust is also very important and it is built and earned not given freely... In long distance relationships, every feeling counts and it is very important to keep the lines of communication open to discuss everything and anything because it is also very easy for doubt to creep in because you cannot see this person most of the time...so it is important to talk everything out so it is not kept in to become something else... So with those three factors, honesty, trust and communication but above all God being the centre of the relationship, and praying together, then it will work out if it is God's will for the both of you... Post Reply
View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 25 Oct, 2011 12:21 PM sometimes I think we get caught up in semantics whether we call a relationship dating, or courting. I believe in spending time together and getting to know each other when we do something together you could say that's a date. Perhaps the word date or dating to some means seeing multiple people ie dating in general. I think of a date as a scheduled time/activity to be with the person I want to get to know. A personal rule of mine is not to go out with multiple people but focus on one woman spend time getting to know her. Distance tends to change the dynamics of a relationship or potential relationship. meeting requires more planing and scheduling. So depending on the amount of distance that could mean taking turns spending a weekend in town to visit the other, or meeting half way, or making time every other weekend to meet. Whatever works. I think the key is willingness to put in the effort, it takes trust, communication, etc. It is no problem for one person but might be a problem for another. really can come down to preference. Personally I enjoy traveling so it doesn't bother me that much. I would prefer to stay within a certain distance. But you never know what God has in store for you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 28 Oct, 2011 04:21 PM Is distance a problem? *** Only if the "distance" is away from GOD...when a relationship is based on God first...then...there is NO distance and NO problem...xo Post Reply
onnylestari View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 2 Nov, 2011 11:00 PM I agree with your writing. But you are lucky to continue until now. I want to be like you, but always failed. Sometimes, I think maybe God was not willing me met and married with man from other country. Post Reply
onnylestari View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 2 Nov, 2011 11:03 PM I agree with your writing annma. But you are lucky to continue until now. I want to be like you, but always failed. Sometimes, I think maybe God was not willing me met and married with man from other country. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 5 Nov, 2011 09:10 AM there is but a problem, but then isnt that problems would always have solutions?!!!!???? when God gives us that special someone however far she/he may be, with God's guidance you will always want to bridge that distance. it takes solid faith and unceasing prayers and trust in the enormous power of the God we serve. The bible says. He give us the desires of our hearts. some long distance relationships works some not.it is by God's wisdom He will lead you tot the right person.... Post Reply
saintnicky View Profile History	Is distance a problem? Posted : 30 Nov, 2012 02:21 PM Distance between two people is a thing of te heart. How do I mean, when you believe the both of you are far apart, tha's when you begin to feel he or she is far away from you. Amos 3:3 says, can two work together unless they agree. It must be agreed and accepted by both parties that even when they are apart, they are very close and near each other. I pesonally do not see distance as a problem or barrier in a relationship. Post Reply